The Hoarders Anonymous Thread. Sorting It Out.

[Solo]

There was a thread that I was involved in some time ago which was started by someone trying to understand why her Dh kept so much 'stuff' and couldn't throw anything away.

The thread quickly turned into a support thread for many MN hoarders and there was a large support network that evolved from that thread.

Eventually, the thread died and with it, certainly my 'support and encouragement mates' circle...

From other threads where lovely Mumsnetters have supported and given rl help, there have come other hoarders, untidy people and those who are just plain stuck in a rut admitting they have a problem. People like me that have become emotionally attached to stuff and it has taken over their homes and their lives. People that cannot cope after loss of different types (parent, relationship, job etc) and it just turns into one big nightmare ~ it certainly did for me following my relationship breakdown, my Dad dying and another nine people in my life passing away inside 11 months.
Personally, I feel that being unable to let anyone in through my front door means that no one can hurt me; I've pulled up the drawbridge, so no one can get to me and shoot me again.

I've always been a bit of a collector of things. I'm a make do and mend type and I can make something out of nothing. Trouble is that once I started to lose important things (people mainly) from my life, I felt unable to let anything made of something go...what if I could never get or have another?! that'd be terrible right?

So! that is a part of my story and here is a thread of support and encouragement (I hope) for others feeling overwhelmed by their hoarding, clutter and stuff. I am hoping that I can get my life sorted out and that there are others that will come along on the journey and perhaps also sort out their homes and lives.

I want to raise my drawbridge and invite friends in. Anyone else? :)

Oh poor thing :( social phobia is awful. It was the blight of my teen years.

Back from the doctor - she wanted me to go on sertraline straight away but I'm waiting for a referral to come through first.

Well, she wasn't insistent on me starting straight away, more that she wanted me to take a prescription for it and collect it if I get worse (I don't feel it's urgent myself - but my questionnaire scores were very high)

Oh poor love. I hope she does manage to get out for a bit. Does she go to school now or are you HE her? It must be awful for her, it's so sad it's ruining her teenage years - bastard thing :(

Fuzzy my friend took that (under the name of Zoloft - think it's the same thing) and it was really good for her, have you taken it before? How do you think you are doing? Do you think you need it? So she has referred you to Psyc? How long will it take to come through?

Hoover part of hall!
Loaded Dishwasher
Now to put shopping away!

I think I take sertraline, had to be put on it when DD1 got particularly bad, cause I couldn't handle it! She was home ed for a yr ie a teacher came in but then she started refusing to come down! We have signed up for an internet learning course but she freaked out cause she couldn't understand the instructions! So will start again slowly with her Monday! She has gone back to bed for an hr so will wait and see

I've had sertraline twice before and it's not really helped.

I don't think I handled the appt very well, she has referred me to a counselling service as a first step but I should've insisted on CMHT. I don't think counselling will be as effective until I've been properly assessed TBH. I've had heaps of counselling and CBT but it only goes so far - not dealing with the issues right at the heart of it, ie the way my brain works (or doesn't) - before I got ill I'd had an assessment with a view to Aspergers, although the psychiatrist (who spent most of the appt reading my hospital notes instead of actually talking to me ) said OCD.

I am home alone (apart from the dog) for the first time in months! I am taking a 10 minute break, before I tidy the kitchen! I then am going to clean the main bathroom

My home alone lasted a full half hour before DD2 (15) arrived home with her friend! They are having a movie day! Bathroom will have to wait! Took me nearly 2 hrs to clean kitchen, can't mop it yet as I threw the mop head in washing machine

Hurrah, friend ecstatic at the large box of stuff I have given her for school :) and we are now decluttering some art stuff by doing a big mural type thing with various scraps I've saved.

Sorted out children's books and dress up clothes and the ones we are keeping are in the wash.

Plus cleared out section in hall for airers and ironing board storage..if I ever catch up with the ironing !

We are having a break from decluttering today, just hiding ironing pile upstairs before friends come over later....hoovering and flush toilet (cleaned and sitting with bleach) then running around with Halloween costumed children.

Setting timer for a half hr, need to Hoover stairs, clear hallway upstairs and downstairs

Need to get moving and cleaning post halloween party last night. Hopefully won't take too long. :)

Actual that was one of the easiest post party clean up !

And I only hid two bags of ironing that went upstairs, so not much to move back either !

I am torn between carry on decluttering living room which is sorting out one cupboard and two chest of drawers i.e hidden stuff OR get stuck into our room which is the last room which has piles of stuff and is the last dumping ground....but no one sees it except DH and I !

I am leaning towards living room, as we are in it so much.

How did everyone do today?

cike - your first time home alone in months??????? Jesus wept I'd be begging for mercy. I need time on my own.

How was DD1's trip to town?

Babies you need to learn the art of crease free washing. The only things I iron are t towels and duvet covers! No clothes

Fuzzy why not make an apt for this week and try again? x

Hi all. Just caught up on the tread. I've not had the concentration to tackle any of my threads properly this past week. I wouldn't say that my ME is bad physically atm, but mentally, it's draining me :(

It sounds like you are all doing really well! :) well done and good going! keep it up.

I am aiming to do more next week; I want to get rid of my big CRT television, so I might offer it on FC or maybe just tip it. It has a great picture and sound, but it's huge and I need it OUT!!
I also want to get my king sized bed base gone. It'll mean sleeping on the mattress on the floor for a while, but it'll be a big item gone!! I just feel a bit nervous about that one for some reason!

I am aiming to have the front room, hall and stairs clear and clean within the next two weeks so that I can get someone in to advise me on my new investment. It's a wood burner! and I'd like it in before it gets cold.
Then I'm going to start getting boxed up stuff down to the storage place. That way, I'll have a bit more space to get more boxes filled and stored. Well that's the plan!

:( Sorry you feel so drained. I understand how you feel, I've been on here, but I have emails that I need to return, that I just can't face. Nothing terrible at all, just social obligation iykwim.

I think your TV and mine are brothers! Mine is staying for now, it's just too much hassle to research what I want to replace it with! Not sure if I posted it on this thread already or not...but I accidentally pushed it off the temporary stand it's on the other week, it fell 2 foot, landed on the screen and didn't even stop transmitting! They don't make them like that anymore! Part of me was annoyed as then I could justify buying a new one, but the other part of me was relieved I didn't need to think about what to buy!

Why do you want the bed gone? It's not the best time of year to be sleeping on the floor?!

Oh a wood burner, I'm envious, I'd love one! I can't have one here.

What are you boxing up and storing...and why?
X

My brother is giving me his old 40" flat tv which will (naff or not) be going on the wall. Have to sort a shelf out to put all the other stuff on underneath it (virgin, video, dvd).

The bed? well, I'm getting a new one and with all the work going on, it will be easier without a bed in the way. I can lean a mattress against the wall, but not a whole bed...

The boxing up is everything! because I have to empty most of the house for rewiring.

I've had a falling out with Ds and he wants to stop at my Mums place next week. I'm not happy with that, but I could gut his room whilst he's not here!

Going to do C4C next week too.

Is it naff now to put the tv on the wall? I wouldn't simply because I find them too high, but naff? Whatever

Oh yes, sorry, I'd forgotten all about your re-wiring!! It's a triple win that really isn't it¬ major declutter and sort/safe wiring/another de clutter and sort when you bring it all back :)

Why have you fallen out with DS? Do you normally let him go to your Mum's if he's in a mood with you? Christ, I'd never have been home

Sorry, clearly not enough coffee today - what is C4C?

Best make a

I don't care if it is naff...we have our flat screen on the wall. It is practical and reduces accidents.

Good luck Solo with digging your DS'S room and getting log fire (lucky lady)

I am getting ready to return to school tomorrow and the house is in a really reasonable state...(exceptions being our bedroom and the ironing pile !)

I have also remembered to wash, dry and pack all the costs and PE kits ! Now just have to get them to school.

Right off to finish the uniform ironing, polish shoes, pack school bags x 3, bath and wash hair x four kids.

Hey solo, sorry you're feeling so awful :(

Oo er, a 40" telly! Wow :o Chipping IKWYM about not wanting to make a decision on a TV - we only got rid of our CRT (which we'd never even bought, it was a handmedown when we moved out in 2006) in time for the digital switchover. Just went for the cheapest one then :o

I'm really pleased with the progress this half term. I really don't want to go back to normality!

Oh and re: doctors I have a follow up in a couple of weeks anyway so I'll retry then :)

Fuzzy what changes when you go back to 'normality' that means you can't carry on as you are now?

Bloody coffee machine is having a hissy fit today, so will go and get some citrus stuff to descale it. It's not that long ago that I did it and the descaler light isn't on.

Can you not book another appointment before then?

I have finished !

Also washed the covers for three car seats and one booster, everything drying. Just hope I can put them all together again !

Well done babies!

Well normality means school runs (still a bit of a struggle since September as the distance increased), tired and stroppy DCs after school (DD now refusing to sleep as she doesn't want to go back to school), going back to work and the attendant anxiety and tiredness, and DH going back to work (so also dealing with more stuff on my own). This was the first time we've both had a week at home together since he started his job in feb, it's been so lovely as well as productive housework-wise! Sorry for the epic whinge fest, basically I'm grumpy because this week is over :)

I'm really pleased we've done so much though and it will make life easier - the fact our bedroom and some of the living room are so much clearer, and I did some bulk cooking today which will really take the heat off. Hopefully we can keep the progress going.