What do you think of people with messy houses?

[Willthisworknow]

I wanted to ask as I am no domestic goddess! I try to keep the house tidy but with 3 young children and working full time, it just does not happen. I tend to gravitate to folks who don't care about a bit of mess - but I know folk who are lovely but when you go over to their houses, they are super uber tidy (how do they do it? I lose the will....) and a bit precious when your one year old goes over to smear sticky fingers on their window, it puts you on edge an you feel less relaxed. What do you think of folk with messy homes. Would u be friends with them, steer clear or would you like to think that as long as you got on well with the person at a social level, you don't care about the state of the house. The kitchen/bathrooms etc are clean, we simply find it hard to keep tidy!

Wouldn't bother me in the slightest and that's coming from the biggest neat freak ever. Only bothers me if my own home is messy as I find it hard to relax. Also ,there's a difference between messy and dirty...so as longs they can see the place is hygienic then don't think people are really goin to care :)

Messy/cluttered is fine, but I don't feel comfortable in homes that are noticeably unclean. I had a friend who had just graduated from Uni and still never mopped her floors or hoovered and I hated going over to hers and walking around on dirt.

I would try and see her at my place instead as much as poss - which by no means is a showhome but I do go over most of the place every 1-2 weeks.

depends on HOW messy. there reaches a point where mess becomes dirt and dirt becomes heath hazard, but normal levels of messy wouldnt bother me at all.

fwiw, i have a very neat and tidy home and everyone who comes says how welcoming it is and what a nice atmosphere it has. I don't give a stuff whether someone makes a mess because mess is easy to clean up after they've gone! It doesn't follow that someone who is tidy is in any way precious or unwelcoming. I've got cream carpets and don't make anyone take off their shoes. I don't ask them to use coasters and I don't care when the kids pull all the furniture into the middle of the room to make forts. It all tidies up

I feel the need to stand up for the neat freaks. We aren't all the same as the people you've met. Honest.

Agree about messy v dirty. Sometimes our house is untidy, which I don't like but it happens when you're very busy and have DC, however I can't stand it when it's dirty. If I go to someone else's house I honestly don't care or notice if it's untidy or disorganised - it would have to be totally upside down for me to be surprised (I'm thinking... washing strewn across the living room, lots of furniture tipped over, something a bit drastic!), but it wouldn't impact on how I view them or if I continued to socialise with them.

I would feel a bit awkward if it was dirty - I don't mean a few crumbs or spills, a bit of dust or fingerprints, more like a grimy toilet or sink or worktops that are covered in food and grease etc. It still wouldn't stop me from socialising with them, I just might be less likely to go to theirs.

Our house is like yours, I don't mind whether someone else is neater than me if they're a good friend. And my uber tidy friends don't seem to mind my place, as long as the loo and kitchen are clean and you can see more than 50% of the carpet I reckon that'll do!

I don't care about mess in other people's homes. I agree that there's a difference between messy and dirty.

I probably wouldn't feel comfortable in a very dirty, smelly house. By that I don't mean one that's got a bit of dust on the furniture I mean one that's not seen a duster/a bit of cleaner for weeks.

It's hard not to have children's fingerprints everywhere. I would never judge for that! I'm a SAHM with two children, one school age and one toddler, so I have plenty of time to clean and I clean everyday but the windows, light switches and door handles are always covered in sticky finger prints!

I wonder how people cope but that's just because clutter and mess seem to stress me out.

We live minimal so have little to cause clutter which helps. My parents never clean and I hate going there tbh

Those homes on obsessive compulsive cleaners are extreme, you have to be somewhere in the middle surely or you spend every spare second cleaning or living in a dirty hole.

I read a quote once that said 'I get more cleaning done in the ten minutes before someone comes over than I do in the rest of the day'. That's me.

I don't mind a bit of dust and clutter, I think it makes a house look lived in, but I wouldn't be comfortable in a really dirty house and I'd be worried what the dc's were touching. I don't think it necessarily reflects on a friendship though.

I don't like going in messy houses. It makes me feel awkward and uncomfortable to see someone's struggle to keep on top of daily life. I have a friend who always has piles of washing waiting to be put away, toys everywhere, breakfast pots left in the sink etc. It makes me uncomfortable, and I worry that she's not coping with her situation although she claims to be happy.

Tidy houses, stress me out. I hate perfect lichens most of all.

You know the sort with not a drop of water out of place or a spot of lime scale anywhere. It's like making a cup of tea in the middle of B&Q, it's not natural.

I like a bit of mess, but the kitchen and bathroom should always be clean.

I don't think piles of washing etc implies the person isn't on top of life! It's just that they have other priorities.

A bit messy is great, I can relax and feel happy to invite you back to mine!

I've had friends whose houses were thick with dust but if not overly cluttered or sticky/filthy, I am still not bothered.

Houses that are heaped with disorganised stuff and dirty as a consequence; I feel puzzled and itch to sort it out, I guess.

Clean sink, clean toilet, clean mugs/glasses/ beakers all is good, the rest is just window dressing

I like messy houses, they make me feel better about myself ! Although I have just been to a party with DD and the food was a floor picnic, and the carpet was covered in dog hair and really could have done with a Hoover.

I much prefer a house to look like someone lives there, but, tbh, I visit the person not the house - it wouldn't stop me going there if a house were a showhome it would just make me on edge.

Shatners my house often has washing and dishes waiting. Not because I struggle with life, I just don't have a lot of spare time to clean so I do most of it at once. If you came to mine on a Friday you would be uncomfortable, because I keep on top of washing the washing during the week, but don't always get it put away. If you came on a Monday, you would be fine!

I love it - it makes me feel better about our untidy house.

Went to see a great flat the other day in our search and it was owned by the loveliest couple you could wish to meet, it was an utter tip, but that didn't matter at all.

I have had some very untidy friends and didn't give a stuff about it.

Our place has only got really bad when I have been pregnant and ill, and I felt very ashamed of it and refused to have anyone round.

To keep on top of a house you need to be active and have time and energy and enough room for everyone - and realistic about what you can keep and what has to go.

It can falter at times for the most organised of people, and I always always WANT to sort it out but didn't have te resources to at that point.

Now the baby is nearly a year, it is getting close to acceptable and it's a good feeling. I'm not ashamed now - if people turn up etc. Still very untidy but it is fine because it's all a work in progress and things are improving.

I like my own house tidy, but struggle with that. I have a toddler and 2 older dc. Tbh if someone else's house is a bit messy too I just feel like I can relax a bit and not feel too stressed out about what they might think of my house when I invite them back!

our house has split personality
I have the european ironing mountain in the corner of the sitting room (about 4 hours worth of ironing)
there is no dust.
there are 3 piles of paper waiting to be filed
all toys are stored neatly
there are currently 4 mugs waiting to be taken into the ktichen (they will be put in there when we go for dinner)
the floor was hoovered yesterday.

you can't get into the study because it is full of boxes of paperwork we haven't got round to sorting out.

the kitchen is an immaculate haven of peace and show homeyness.

I have stopped inviting people round as I am embarrassed about the state of the place but can't get myself sorted to clear it.

I LOVE going to show home houses as it makes me feel how I want to feel in my own home.

I have no problem going to messy houses at all.

Another neat freak here, but I don't care about mess in other people's houses.

A filthy kitchen, sink or loo is off-putting though...

I don't care how messy a place is. Only thing ive ever been put off by is going to a house that smelled bad

I'm messy, always have been! ATM DP's house is a TIP but that's because we're in the midst of redoing a lot of it, so the floors and walls are bare and the kitchen looks like a bloody toolshed!TBH It's driving me nuts, but that's extreme mess and not how I'd live all the time.

I respect everyone's way to live, if somebody's house is mega tidy I am careful as I know I'm a messy person and am extra careful to not make any mess.....
Dirt, though-not a fan!And I've known people who have tidy but dirty houses! One of my friends is a minimalist, hardly anything out of place, not much 'stuff' no clutter, but she does NOT clean! Toilet is like, black! I don't like that.

I am predisposed to like people with messy houses.
But I tend to feel uncomfortable in very tidy houses - like I don't understand the rules and will inadvertently upset my host by using the wrong coaster or exposing a darned sock.

I do not mind mess as long as it is not in my home.

I admit to being a neat freak. The bathroom and kitchen are always kept clean. The remainder of the house is neat and ordered.