What do you think of people with messy houses?

[Willthisworknow]

I wanted to ask as I am no domestic goddess! I try to keep the house tidy but with 3 young children and working full time, it just does not happen. I tend to gravitate to folks who don't care about a bit of mess - but I know folk who are lovely but when you go over to their houses, they are super uber tidy (how do they do it? I lose the will....) and a bit precious when your one year old goes over to smear sticky fingers on their window, it puts you on edge an you feel less relaxed. What do you think of folk with messy homes. Would u be friends with them, steer clear or would you like to think that as long as you got on well with the person at a social level, you don't care about the state of the house. The kitchen/bathrooms etc are clean, we simply find it hard to keep tidy!

Good Lord! I never knew the site of a cereal box could make someone feel uncomfortable

You'd best not come round my house then BumbleQueen (well, unless Dizhin has just popped by first )

I am definitely on the messy side. Washing up I tend to do every other day, and I am the sort of person who would rather do a big deep clean once a month than be wiping up all the time. I now pay my mum to clean once a week, so I know at least the floors are getting done weekly!
I don't tend to really see dirt and dust until it's quite bad tbh.
But then I was brought up in a filthy untidy house, so I think I'm doing quite well considering!

I like abit of mess and lived in ness over the stark minimal nothingness look. Think there's something jilly cooper ish about a lived in house realised all my friends houses similar to ours. went to a new acquaintances house recently and knew we could never click - strange pristine house.

My friend came round the other day and we were having a cup of tea in the kitchen. She offered to put the milk back in the fridge. When I went to it later I noticed that something had gone mouldy and leaked all over the salad drawer. She must have seen it too.

Backforgood

At times I visited in the evening and breakfast items were still out. Cereal boxes, juice, jam, butter etc.

Hmmm. I don't get sniffy about sticky fingerprints, crumbs, nose prints up against the window where a toddler has pressed their nose against it etc, those are just the sign of a lived in house. But a dirty bathroom, and a towel so dirty that your hands are dirtier after you've washed them than before? And piles and piles of stuff everywhere, and nowhere to sit down? Stuff and dirt all over the kitchen worktops. If I'm honest I do judge a bit about that. Not if its occasionally, but if its constant. If the same pile of stuff is sitting there today that was there three weeks ago...Now, having said that, I don't know anyone who lives in a tiny little house or flat (not that all my acquaintances are all fabulously rich and live in mansions, just that I don't live in a big city, so houses tend to be fairly spacious round here), and I can see how it must be easy to have stuff everywhere if you truly have no space to put it anywhere. But a couple of the messiest folk I know live in huge houses, with loads of spare rooms etc, and I just look at it and think 'why on earth is all your underwear sitting on the kitchen table, if you can't be bothered putting it away, why not just throw it into one of your spare bedrooms?'.

I'm not sure about not coping. Is it really the case that vast swathes of grown adults can't cope with living in a house and keeping it sort of tidy-ish? I mean, I'm sure there are some people who can't cope, but is it not more likely that most people who live surrounded by mess do so because they want to? Which is fine, if that's their thing, it's their house and their choice. But I do think its a choice for most people.

we have 6 kids and a messy house so I certainly don't judge anyone else!

It's frustrating at times, but it's what it is.
it was a pretty organised household when we only had 3, but then we had a loft conversion done (as DS4 on the way) and lost a lot of storage space in favour of a massive bedroom and second bathroom and so struggling with that ever since (it's been 7 years).

we are trying to move, but despite having buyers (offer accepted!) we can't find anywhere to move to.
and now #7 is due in July - we really need to move soon!

oh and if you come to my house you have two choices - either ignore the mess or offer your help to sort a bit of it.
or don't come back

Ahem!

Something to tell me Zing?!!!! PM me please!! Xxxx

well, that's another point actually, the more people live in a house the more 'stuff' I'd expect there to be, its only normal. Two able bodied adults living in squalor would just have me thinking whereas a house with seven kids? I'd expect it to have a lot of stuff.

I tend to feel relieved I don't understand show-home neat tbh, I like a house to feel properly lived in... A friend once described our house as 'eclectic' - I don't think you could be that if you were a minimalist!

Dh is incredibly untidy. I try to keep his piles of stuff down to a dull roar, but there will be piles of paper, the odd coat, newspapers, phone chargers etc lying around if you visit unexpectedly. Also probably dog biscuits scattered on the floor round the dogs bowl in the kitchen, leaves and sand from the common and possibly the washing up not done. BUT if I know you're coming, then I'll try to have the house fairly clean and tidy.

I have quite a few visitors, so they don't seem to be put off by what they find

I don't mind mess as long as the house is clean. Our house is pretty minimalist as a result of my mum being a hoarder and never cleaning when we were young. From a young age I would clean our family home because I was so embarrassed! But yeah I don't mind mess it goes hand and hand with kids! I let the kids mess around all day and only tidy the mess once a day otherwise you would be forever cleaning/tidying up and whats the point of that! I think friends without kids tend to be the ones who "judge" the kids mess the most.