Is June the new January? - the Fledgling Flyers are doing their flaming best

[pushmepullyou]

Welcome old and new fledglings to the June Fledgling FLYers thread!

Thank you very much to castlelough for leading us expertly through May - I shall try not to be too haphazard with June, although I make no promises

If you're overwhelmed by clutter and general household grub then join us as we (loosely) follow the step-by-step Flylady housekeeping system or languish in the naughty corner hoping to do better tomorrow

As usual, we will be following the Flylady three-pronged approach:

1. Baby-steps (a daily step to establish routines)
2. Then baby-steps + 15 mins daily decluttering
3. (And once decluttered) babysteps + daily missions and maybe even detailed cleaning in the weekly zones

For more information have a look here, although to avoid a cluttered inbox, we advise not signing up to the Flylady emails. The basic principle is little and often and don't worry about perfection (no chance of that here!).

Don't worry if you are behind; just jump right back in and it will all come around next month again anyway!

All the links for the babysteps and missions will be posted here every day and we'll all be here to cheer each other on and chat our way through the month.

Trazzles. This time will pass, even if it doesn't feel like it right now. Why don't you start with a nice cup of coffee or tea and just set yourself a very small list for the day. Maybe look for an easy thing that will make a difference, in our house taking 10 mins to round up all the stray piles of paper and make them into one pile to deal with later makes a big difference to the overall look of the place. If you can sift half of it out for recycling as you go even better. It is meant to be family fun day, so don't be too hard on yourself about the house.

Can DH help? I'm still waiting for him to mow the lawn this year.

Seriously.

The grass is as tall as Joe and has gone to seed. Now that's fine because he doesn't get hayfever. I do though.

I did wonder. Sorry.

Done :

1. Coffee
2. Clear dining-room table
3. Washing up

Also done:

Cleared up cat poo and sick

Next list of three:

1. Get dressed to shoes
2. Cook breakfast for teen boys
3. Clean cat

:( the kitten

Trazzles there was an interesting piece I read recently about houses and tidiness with children. It started by saying that the author only knew one person with a pristine house, and that person had sent her children to boarding school. The author went on to say that in order to not drive yourself mad you have to lower your standards, lower then again and the expect to achieve lower still. It is really frustrating, and you family are wrong no magic wand to get dd not clinging or eating stuff shouldn't. Just time. Like a previous poster said it is a phase it will come to an end but it won't feel like that. I will also second the advice from whoknows about the paperwork. If you need to make a list of 3 small things. stop looking at the bigger picture ie the kitchen is a tip, look at the parts, the floor is clean, the benches need wiping down (do the bits not covered), there are plates to eat off. OK kitchen is fine ignoring washing up, and deep cleaning stuff It won't be long term. It will get better. And having grown up in a chaotic house I remember more the love and the fun then I do the chaos. Ds is also growing up in a chaotic house. He talks more about the adventures in lego, the sliding down the stairs in a sleeping bag and stuff like that. He cares not that the lounge looks like an explosion in a toy factory. If I think about it, it would drive me crazy. I try not to think about it. That is the only advice I can give you. Focus on the stuff that is important for Joe, focus on enjoying time with dd, if you are fed clothed and watered you are doing well.

Had a slow day Thursday and a complete dead due to burn out day yesterday. Today I am going to focus on 3 things:
Lego out of lounge, sorted and away
ds' room tidy and cleaned
Laundry

Family fun will be late tonight when I am taking ds out to training and will then take him for late ice cream.

Breakfast has finally been eaten, 1st coffee has been drunk --although I think I am going to get another coffee before I get cracking with stuff. Might also grab a shower.

What a fab, lovely post from Bitchy - and so true too [sniff]

Oh Trazzles - very sorry you feel so low and frustrated about the house - and you certainly DO NOT deserve to feel criticised or pressured from others about it - try and cling on to the fact that you have your priorities right and are doing what is best for dc by being there for them, and for working

Dare I ask, if dh doesn't do cleaning or tidying, would he possibly be able to contribute to cost of a cleaner (perhaps just fortnightly)??? I know things must be very tight with you having had to reduce your hours.

Sadly money is too tight at the moment but we are waiting to hear whether he may have a new job. If he does, it may mean more money. A cleaner is top of my list!!

He doesn't stand over me refusing me stuff etc etc its just that we have less cash than we are used to right now.

Done :

1. Get dressed to shoes
2. Cook breakfast for teen boys
3. Clean cat
4. Also swished and swiped in bathroom and changed hand towel

I hope DH gets the new job and you have money for a cleaner soon, Trazzle. Sadly, they don't tidy up, but at least you know the floors are hoovered, etc.

Am just sitting down with a cup of tea and the kitten, who is desperate for a cuddle. He is still smelly, despite his wipe down .

Mum arriving about 2, so I have two hours to sort this house out.

Next list:

1. Room rescue kitchen, including washing up
2. Room rescue dining room
3. Room rescue sitting room
4. Room rescue Ds2's bedroom/guest room
5. Change bedclothes and put out guest towels.
6. Fill in insurance claim form for vet fees
7. Ironing in front of telly
8. Plan dinner - cooking times, etc.

Enjoy your family fun day Bitchy Hope sinuses holding up.

Sorry kitten has bad tum this morning Toffee poor thing. Well done to your ds1 for managing to stick with school interview under v. difficult circs. School sounds great too - brill he is being allowed to ease in slowly etc. Good luck with it all. (Thought his photo was lovely too btw!!)

Well done for utilising power of three - going to do the same now! Can't believe dd is going to be off school for 9 wks from this Friday lunchtime! Nowhere near ready!

Glad iron levels ok Doris (it's reassuring to know) Harder to get over throat viruses etc when your sleep is so disturbed so take it easy ...

Goth well done re: yuck confrontation and for completing long list. Hope doing house bleeurgh on Fri worked out ok.

Congrats on losing more weight Pushme!!!

Whoknows Photog exhibition sounds fab. Will definitely look on line. Used to subscribe to BBC Wildlife mag as a child and miss it!! Arf at tangle teezing the rug!

Oh no Jdub sorry you are dealing with c. pox a second time!!

Hope you have a lovely weekend at caravan Ellie!

Sorry to hear about everyone's long departed cats

Big wing flaps to everyone I have missed.

Good bit: exams finally over - whey hey!!! Results in report next Thurs. We all feel a bit like wrung out dish-rags but great to know we don't have to go through that for another whole year!! Yippeeee!!! Celebrated with beef panang take-out and dvd last night!!

Bad bit: everyone a bit tired/stressed/discombobulated this morning.

Dh upset because fil still in hospital and ill.

DD upset because dh told her is going to be away from Sun eve to Fri this week and she (like Swan and Whoknows dss from down thread) was hoping that he would pick her up from sports day this week. Tears ensued.

And I'm upset because dh has agreed to take dd and friend out bowling or to zoo tomorrow depending on weather. (Not a problem at all in itself, in fact understandable because third member of their friendship 'triangle' is going to party to which they haven't been invited.) Unfortunately he didn't consult me first and I had already made arrangements to hear friend's friend play in Sunday morning concert followed by drinks/lunch with them afterwards (which I had e-mailed dh about three times!!!) Oh dear ...s'pose worse things happen at sea ... can go by myself but didn't particularly want to. And friend very much wanted to introduce her friend (new man) to dh. (And I'd already organised loads of play/dates - fun stuff - for dd covering 3/4 of next w/e.) Men and communication eh?

So I'm going to make more apple cake to soothe tensions and we are all going to try and make an effort to be extra nice to one another this afternoon!! [rictus grin]

Sorry for trivial rant. It's just that dh and I don't get enough time together so everything is communicated by e-mail (which he doesn't read if it's from me) or snatched conversations as he is running out the door which gets intensely frustrating at times!! Try and speak to him at night after dd in bed but find him snoring!!!

Right, had better get on bake/tackle boudoir before Ascot coverage starts

Enjoy your weekends as much as you possibly can everyone!!

[sorry, that was more of an essay than intended]

xposts

Trazzles It must be incredibly hard trying to balance everything atm, budgets included. Hope your dh gets his new job/pay rise. Wish I lived nearer and could offer more practical help. (Sorry feel guilty now for trivial rants.)

Would it be poss for there to be a rota of local well-wishers organised to help you either with cleaning (if that's what you need most) or baby-sitting (to allow you to do necessary decluttering/sorting) by any chance? It would have to be very very carefully and professionally organised though so that it suits your needs entirely. On the other hand I could understand you not wanting a load of strangers in your home/having something else to 'balance' ???? Sorry the situation is so unfair/difficult.

Good luck with continuing list Toffee (poor cat)

Trazzles I almost burst into tears when I read your post and crying on the sofa is exactly what I have been doing for half of the day for some of the same reasons you give (and I have nowhere near the same amount of shit to deal with that you have in your life at the moment).

DS only wants me right now, so even if DH is home I cannot get anything done, even little things like the washing up. Within 2 minutes he will start pulling books off shelves, climbing on the coffee table or emptying the food cupboards to get my attention. He will eat anything and everything from the floor which, no matter how much I hoover or mop, always seems to be covered in crumbs and sticky spots. This morning had to hang up on my DM because he was going nuts and DH was sitting on his arse reading.

I totally understand your frustration with clutter and paperwork. Ican never find anything in this bloody house as it's buried under piles of rubbish that never shrink. My hotpot has a life of its own. And of course if DH can't find something it's usually my fault I've just realised I have a late fee for not paying my credit card last month and am behind in transferring money to DH for some bills.

bitchy gives great advice. In 20 years time DS and DD will not care how tidy their house was or how long the grass was (they don't care now either!). You will never look back on your life and wish you spent more time cleaning. My parents house was (is) a complete pigsty and now as an adult it drives me crazy but as a kid it did not make one piece of difference to me. I said (between sobs ) this morning to DH that I felt like everyone (work, friends, ILs, DH) wanted something me and that I couldn't live up to their expectations. But (thanks to bitchy ) have realised that it's my expectations that I need to lower. I cannot do everything, I will never live in a show home, my kitchen floor will always be ever so slightly sticky, the to do list for the house will enever be done.

Just wanted to let you know that you're not alone in feeling this way. Have a or maybe a and a big hug. Deep breaths. It will be okay. x

And so to make me feel better of what I HAVE accomplished today...

Ta da
Online banking (waiting for money to go through to UK account and then must remember to pay CC when it clears)
Enquired about motel in NZ
Had a quick chat with DM and best friend and Dsis today
Organised lunch with friend who I haven't seen for ages before we both flee the country for the summer
DS and I had 30 mins outside time (a bit of weeding done!)
Replied to a few outstanding emails from friends

To do
Hoover
Clean kitchen floor
What's for dinner
Washing-up
Sit in the garden and listen to Bruce Springsteen playing live tonight if the wind is blowing the right way (and it doesn't rain - we live very close to the venue but I never seemt o find out about these things until the day of the concert)
15 mins hotspot
Wash on

Today has not felt like family fun day here. There has been a lot of shouting over the matter of ds tidying his room. It would seem that he has actually, eventually after a lot of excuses/playing/reading/temper tantrums predominately got his room tidy. thank fuck
I however have done a considerable amount more then I should have even considered doing. The word burn out will feature highly tomo I suspect. Satisfying getting on top of things a bit though.

And tomo there will be a whole range of different battles because ds has a book report to write for school. :( I fecking hate book report homeworks.

(I hope this works!)

Can I offer any of you ladies a 🎁 of 🍸 or 🍺 or 🍰 ?

Rats. 🍸 ?

Damn. Was supposed to be a cocktail. Ah well...

No worries Doris - whatever form it takes - if there is alcohol involved - I'll take it Cheers! And hope you are feeling better tonight!

Sorry life is so frustrating for you too atm Engels - your ds is at such a demanding stage, it cannot be easy. Especially as you are not getting much support. And having to waste time finding things (I have huge experience of this unfortunately) is infuriating. This too shall pass and all that - not that that helps much now I know.

Here's to slightly sticky floors - much safer than slick, shiny ones!!

I've cheered myself up by buying myself some 'fat' clothes today(when I take them off the volume of material involved is astounding compared to clothes I was wearing only a couple of years ago). I do definitely look fat in them (because I am fat) - so I'm not that much cheered - but... but ... I can do the zips up - which is good - also got 15% discount in sale which is good too! And I bought a jacket that covers a multitude of sins. Also, I'm hoping it's easier to lose weight if you feel half-way decent in yourself ifyswim instead of feeling horrified every time I look in the mirror!

Also today I have:
done humungous supermarket shop
squabbled with dh
gone to bank cashpoint thing inside bank to sort out blocked card
reader thing
done on-line banking back at home
gone to garden centre
bought dd's desired 'trousse scolaire' (pencil case) for Sept from stationery shop before they sold out
killed weeds front of house
gone to Belge equiv of Boots
gone to butcher
played Scrabble with dd
made a Dutch apple cake
done two loads laundry (started uniform wash)
spoke to sil on phone at length
watched Ascot

Boudoir (which I had tackled a bit earlier in the week) has exploded again ...so that's definitely the task for tomorrow afternoon/evening.

Enjoy the rest of the weekend everyone!

Sounds like there are a lot of us struggling with flying/parenting combo (or indeed on their own) today - I'll count myself in on that one too.

Am feeling a bit grotty today anyway, and in common with many thread toddlers DS is a nightmare at the moment. Bought him a big boys bed in Ikea after he appeared in our room a couple of mornings ago having climbed out of his cot and he screamed and howled the whole way round until I carried him (DH was there too, but not good enough apparently ). He is far too heavy for that sort of behaviour at well over 2!

Even more tryingly he has taken to refusing to eat meals until I am sitting next to him and just screams non-stop until I sit down. Then demands to be fed with screaming if I don't comply. I don't know what he's playing at - he has never been fed, he was baby-led weaned ffs (lazy chucking food at him rather than an ethos). I love him to bits but am heartily sick of it all at the moment.

Am also a bit annoyed with DH today - we have one single evening out a year together when our parents come and meet us on holiday around our anniversary, look after the DC whilst we go out for a meal and then get up with them in the morning. We haven't been out together since last year, except for work, which doesn't really count. I have organised the holiday, the parents, bloody everything except the meal and despite knowing for weeks what the date is DH has failed to book the restaurant and now they are booked up. He has found somewhere else, but it isn't where we wanted to go and it's the principle as much as anything that I have to be entirely responsible for everything to do with the running of our lives or nothing happens. He actually asked me if a chicken was cooked when he was standing next to it and I was on a different floor a couple of weeks ago. FFS how would I know?

Sorry for the massive rant! On the plus side leading the thread has meant that the house is better than it has been for months. My standards are pretty low but I don't havee much scope to lower them further as our nanny is a properly clean and tidy person (she laminates lists of things eg rightful contents of craft drawers) and I can't honestly allow her place of work to sink into proper squalor.

trazzles you are doing an amazing job! little bits at a time so you don't all get botulism is quite enough to be dealing with at the moment. Anyone who thinks it isn't should quite frankly be contributing more thenselves!

engels as you've probably noticed if you're still awake after my epic rant I fully empathise on clingy children. It saps every bit of tolerance from you doesn't it, particularly the continual tidying. I have noticed that DH is much better than me at keeping on top of toys etc with the DC. i was tidying as I went along then going mad within the hour and giving up. When he's playing with them instead of running round constantly trying to tidy up the last toy before they get the next one out, he does an hourly tidy, which means he gets a lot lessed pissed off and is able to keep up with them pretty much indefinitely

toffee poor kitten, hope his tum has settled a bit this evening. I have a very sicky cat and find that no dairy and a diet of mostly scrambled eggs helps settle his stomach when he's really bad. Dried food seems better than wet food too.

With you on the burnout bitchy hope you manage to get a good night's sleep tonight.

Thanks for the cocktails doris I'm sure they'll be particularly appreciated by most of us tonight

Sorry your DH is also being rather thoughtless SC. It is so hard wheen you don't get much time to actually talk to each other - so easy for misunderstandins to arise. Can you try to find some time to do something nice together? (resurrect 'date night' perhaps ? )

Big encouraging wingflaps to everyone else - and sorry about the massive moan at the start of the post

***
Here are the links for the 23rd June

The babystep is to add an afternoon routine. I don't have an official afternoon routine but I can see that life could be easier if I split my rather poorly defined evening routine into 'home from work' and 'before bed' stages so I might give this a try.

The flight plan is here and the daily focus is renew your spirit day. Sounds like several of us could benefit from a little spirit renewing!

Water's great - it'll stop your brain shrivelling
***

technically that is actual science PMPY. won't bore thread with the technical details but in short brain is mostly water but requires water to use to function. Do not replace water used in brain function = less water for brain mass

Family fun was achieved eventually.

the ta da list is epically scary proportions. Especially for someone who is supposed to be pacing themselves and taking things fairly easily. Rest day tomo. Although there is the small matter of ds' homework. I am predicting more shouting.

Oh dear, huge sympathies to all those coping with messy houses, demanding children, thoughtless and/or inefficient husbands, etc. It is all incredibly frustrating and trying to cope with it is, mostly, a thankless task.

And, Doris, how on earth did you create those icons?

OK, final ta da list for today:

1. Room rescue kitchen, including washing up done
2. Room rescue dining room done
3. Room rescue sitting room not done
4. Room rescue Ds2's bedroom/guest room not done
5. Change bedclothes and put out guest towels done
6. Fill in insurance claim form for vet fees nope
7. Ironing in front of telly done
8. Plan dinner done - and cooked it too

Managed to avoid Ds2's room rescue by suggesting DM sleep in DS1's bedroom (relatively tidy) and leaving DS2 in his usual messy room. Ds1 is sleeping downstairs with the kitten.

Have dealt with an awful lot of kitten upset tum and sickness today. Poor little thing. He is very sweet and cuddly in between rushing for the litter tray (or the nearest mat).

Night.

I have been rubbish at keeping up with this thread but Im going to try harder. I worked Thursday and Friday night and we had friends visit yesterday so things have been pretty hectic.

Dp and I had words yesterday as apparently I don't do enough around the house and always have time to do what I want just not housework. To say I was livid was an understatement!

However, he did clean the house and sort the dcs toys so he wasn't all bad. Now I have stopped being angry I can see his point re. the ironing and clean laundry which seems to be everywhere at the moment and I am going to make getting on top of it a priority this week. But that doesn't mean I'm going to stop doing things for me - Im entitled to as much 'me time' as him cheeky bugger!

So whinge over. Dp is at work today doing overtime so I am taking the kids kite flying but I am also going to do the following:

Sort as much laundry as I can.
Pile of ironing
Dw
Ss
Hoover downstairs
Wash load
Dust downstairs
Food shop for picnic and lunchboxes
5m hotspot microwave
Clean g. pig cage

Have a lovely day everyone. I will be back later to catch up with the thread.

Oh Toffee poor you and poor ToffeeKitten we have 2 cats as well and we have fortunately never lost one but I can't imagine how scary it must be to see them so unwell. The worst we have had so far is Tcat with a broken leg and recurrent cystitis.

I asked DH if I could have a cleaner if he got enough money. He looked a bit surprised but agreed "if that's what I want'". YES FFS YES!!!!!!

Diet has gone a bit haywire last week and then we cooked THE most unhealthy meal ever last night. Gumbo followed by a banana and butterscotch mousse. The mousse being basically whipped cream and lots of it. I reckon there were close to 1500 calories in that tea and then we had wine

At least I got out for a run!

Today's to-do list is really just to wash our bedding. I'm on a fortnightly cycle with ours and the DCs. This may sound disgusting to some of you, but it's a massive improvement! Until recently I would just leave it and it might get changed about 4 times a year? Yuck!!!!!!!!!!

Should probably also clean the kitchen.

I get what some of you are saying about not caring about growing up in an untidy house. Well, I did too. As is well-documented on here my DM is a hoarder amongst other things, and I hated it. No one was ever invited round because it was so messy. I don't want a show home but I don't want my DCs to be embarrassed about having their friends over. I hated it growing up and I hate it now.

Morning.

Today has not exactly gone to plan so far. Especially considering yesterday. BUT a good shot of vodka last night and I was out like a heavy light for a change so feel pretty much rested. got around 8hrs sleep too which was nice. And it would appear I am currently watching a program about how they blow stuff up in a controlled manner

So a plan is needed. something that is gentle and calm and not doing a huge amount but allows me to feel like I have achieved something by the end of the day. This is beginning to sound like I am going to have to do paperwork. but I don't want to

First stop, big vat of bitchy's special brew . Will leave it on the naughty corner bar for those who require or wish some.

Oh Trazzles (((((hugs))))))

I look round my house and feel the same. I was brought up in a show home and how I wish my house could be the same, but it isn't Its messy, dirty and it just needs something. Im always getting upset about it. But Im rubbish at this flying malarky. Im trying, but not achieving much. My DCs rarely have friends over because I am embarrassed about the state of it. Admittedly this house is better than our last house, but its still dirty.