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Housekeeping

Find cleaning advice from other Mumsnetters on our Housekeeping forum.

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Original poster

Asking people to take their shoes off

102 replies

miche8 · 27/08/2012 12:26

So then is it considered rude to ask people to slip their shoes off when they enter your house? we have cream carpets and young children that play on the floor. I always take my shoes off if visiting someone else or i ask if they want me to.

OP posts:

BonkeyMollocks · 27/08/2012 12:34

Each to their own, just say 'would you mind taking your shoes off?' .

I wouldn't personally but then I am weird about feet....

bakingaddict · 27/08/2012 12:37

I always take my shoes off too when going to somebody's house, but that's because I think wearing shoes in the house is meh

Having a shoe rack by the door and maybe some house slippers should indicate to people that leaving shoes on is a bit of an issue but you could just casually say 'Oh please feel free to leave your shoes by the door'

BonkeyMollocks · 27/08/2012 12:43

if you had put this in AIBU then it would have exploded into a bunfight!

Trills · 27/08/2012 12:45

There's still time...

MaureenMLove · 27/08/2012 12:46

I would never ask someone to take their shoes off at my front door. I want people to be comfortable and welcome in my house.

BonkeyMollocks · 27/08/2012 12:47

Whatcha reckon?

My bets on 1pm...the shoe brigade will arrive!

MaureenMLove · 27/08/2012 12:48

LOL! I love these threads!

Trills · 27/08/2012 12:48

Wasn't there an episode of Sex and the City where someone's shoes were stolen after they were asked to take them off?

Mintyy · 27/08/2012 12:49

I reckon 500 posts minimum ...

bakingaddict · 27/08/2012 12:51

Sometime it's also a cultural thing...my DH is Chinese and to leave your shoes on in many Asian households is insulting and just not a done thing

BonkeyMollocks · 27/08/2012 12:54

I just hate having my feet on anyone else floor but my own.

I would also rather people left shoes on in my house because feet are just urgh!

MaureenMLove · 27/08/2012 12:54

This won't reach 500 posts. It's in Good Housingkeeping and we all know most people on here are slobs and have hidden the topic!

verlainechasedrimbauds · 27/08/2012 12:54

Most of my friends/acquaintances don't have the "shoes off rule" - most of my sister's friends and acquaintances do (we live in different parts of the country). I don't normally take my shoes off (unless they are muddy), though try to remember that some people like/expect it. My sister normally does take her shoes off.

I think it's useful to remind oneself that what is normal/considerate/welcoming to one person is peculiar/selfish/unwelcoming to another. There is nothing wrong with asking someone to take their shoes off, if that is what you would like them to do - just don't expect people to assume that they should. It might be as well for you to know that some people will consider it an odd request, though if they are well brought up they will hide the fact that they consider it odd and just take their shoes off.

Those who have been brought up to think it unwelcoming to ask/expect someone to take off their shoes think one way. Those who have been brought up to take off their shoes think another. Adaptability and tolerance to others' customs and looking for clues as to what is expected - it's the only way to go!

MrsCampbellBlack · 27/08/2012 12:55

What Maureen said. I think being a welcoming host is more important than your carpets and surely most adults wipe their feet anyway?

LST · 27/08/2012 12:56

I don't ask. But the pile of shoes by the door gives it away normally

BonkeyMollocks · 27/08/2012 12:57

Finbar · 27/08/2012 12:58

I would always take shoes off if asked - but i don't like it -
I don't like wandering around in my socks or bare feet in someone else's house..somehow seems much worse.

MrsCampbellBlack · 27/08/2012 13:02

I agree Finbar.

And surely it doesn't apply if invited round for dinner/drinks.

But then I would never have cream carpets downstairs.

Viviennemary · 27/08/2012 13:03

I hate being in my socks or tights or barefoot in somebody else's house. But if my shoes were muddy or covered in slush or snow, then of course I would take them off.

WynkenBlynkenandNod · 27/08/2012 13:06

I used to automatically take my shoes off when the children were little but I've found myself liking it less and less as time goes on and don't now unless asked. I probably would take them off unprompted if I saw cream carpet as I'd assume it would be required.

Bilbobagginstummy · 27/08/2012 13:08

Making no comment on the rudeness or otherwise of shoe-removal requests but just to say cream carpets and children?!

Are you brave, mad or have you some wonderful stain-removing tips to share?

AdoraBell · 27/08/2012 13:10

I struggle with this. I'm not fussy, unless shoes are dripping wet or caked in mud. OH is fantaical and has just had cream carpets fitted throughout did I mention we have 4 4dogs and Chileans just don't take shoes off in someone else's house.

I remember a whispered convo that some guests had, while smiley sweetly at me, because OH asked them to de-shoe and the visiting DH didn't hear. So his wife told him. There followed a brief "WTF" type expression as he told her don't be stupid, you never take shoes off in someone's house. She whispered furiously that the host had told them to. This went back and forth for a minute or so until he eventually slipped his shoes off and gingerly stepped into the lounge, smiling sweetly at me.

MrsCampbellBlack · 27/08/2012 13:13

Thing is not everyones floors/carpets are that clean and I'd rather keep my sheos on.

AdoraBell · 27/08/2012 13:15

MrsCampbell

Oh yes, even if we invite guests for a meal or drinks, my OH will ask them to de-shoe. It's embarrassing. It really is.

Hence I refuse to do anything other than BBQs and tell him he has to be door monitor because I'm not doing it.

MrsCampbellBlack · 27/08/2012 13:17

Oh no you just really can't invite people for dinner and then make them de-shoe.

My face would be like this if I was asked to remove my louboutins

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