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Housekeeping

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Original poster

Asking people to take their shoes off

102 replies

miche8 · 27/08/2012 12:26

So then is it considered rude to ask people to slip their shoes off when they enter your house? we have cream carpets and young children that play on the floor. I always take my shoes off if visiting someone else or i ask if they want me to.

OP posts:
outtolunchagain · 27/08/2012 22:32

Very definitely lower middle class . Also a bit nouveau riche . Always makes me think of the Betjemin poem" phone for the fish knives Norman"Wink

Cultural reasons are an obvious exception.

5madthings · 27/08/2012 22:34

i dont care in my house, some people take them off, some dont, if a child has dirty shoes then i would ask them to take them off but i would assume an adult would check, i wear my crocs in the house.

when visiting its generally obvious if its a shoes off house, i did have one friend who was totally anal about the shoes off thing and it made me inwardly roll my eyes.

exoticfruits · 27/08/2012 22:48

It is Hyacinth Bucket - she was supposed to be a joke but is obviously alive and kicking all over the country!

NellyJob · 27/08/2012 22:53

you could put a sign at the door saying 'wipe your bloody feet' though.

WavingLeaves · 27/08/2012 23:21

I don't like taking my shoes off in other people's houses (unless they have immaculate nice warm thick carpets throughout, and I never have to pad barefoot around the bathroom (boak) or kitchen).

It's often cold and uncomfortable for one thing. For another thing I might have holey socks on. And I really don't want people's floor scuzz attaching itself to my socks (or worse, bare feet), then setting up home in my shoes on the way home.

By floor scuzz I mean things like pet hair, pubes, stray toddler debris, dust (ie dead skin cells), dead insects and anything else which might be lurking down there.

Mintyy · 27/08/2012 23:36

I'm probably an utter hypocrite because I loathe taking my shoes off in other people's houses (and would never dream of asking visitors to do so in mine) but would have some understanding if I were visiting the house of a person where it is the cultural norm to remove shoes.

WavingLeaves · 27/08/2012 23:51

Not hypocritical I don't think - if you are a guest then it's their house, their rules. I will of course remove my shoes if expected to, I just don't always find it comfortable.

I don't like people taking their shoes off in my house - though some insist - I always worry that their feet will be cold / uncomfortable, and that they will notice the floor scuzz Grin

AdoraBell · 28/08/2012 00:45

Haha, that fits then, as my ILs think they are so MC, yet they do so many things which fall squarely into WC or lower MC. Not that I care about a person's class. I do like having an inward chuckle at the ILs though

MollyMurphy · 28/08/2012 02:24

where I live it's totally rude to wear your shoes in someone's house without express permission (and even then it's questionable). think of all the floors one walks on in a day (public washroom, spit upon sidewalk etc) and ask yourself if you'd like any bit of those places on your carpet. YADNBU. Gross. they are guests - they should be respectful of your home and preferences.

exoticfruits · 28/08/2012 06:57

If you have the sort of 'my house my rules' I don't expect that many people want to visit - it is hardly welcoming!

MrsCampbellBlack · 28/08/2012 07:16

Oh yes 'my house my rules' another favourite of mine Wink

Just so welcoming.

SomeTosser · 28/08/2012 07:45

I don't give a flying fuck what people do with their shoes in my house. I have hardwood and a steam mop.
Plus DP has stinky feet.

I generally take my shoes off though, because I don't like them anyway. Or observe the visited persons feet.
I do have to be on the ball with DP and make sure he's wearing non-holey socks and leaves his great clodhoppers outside if we visit a shoes-off house. He's a bit dim like that.

exoticfruits · 28/08/2012 08:44

Seeing that I have bare feet with shoes all through the summer I am rather surprised that people want me wandering around without my shoes.

Rockchick1984 · 28/08/2012 09:00

I agree with OP - we have cream carpets (not from choice - already here and can't afford to replace them) and we ask people to remove their shoes as despite hoovering at least once every day, the carpet still gets covered in all kinds. My son is 17 months, and constantly playing and putting everything into his mouth so I don't want dirt and things being walked in from outside. The only person who has an issue with this is my father in law but he refuses to visit anyway (long story because he's a twunt ) so that doesn't matter any more.

Amazes me though, adults are fine with taking their shoes off when asked, but frequently have to then be prompted to take their child's shoes off, which are more likely to be dirty surely?

shrimponastick · 28/08/2012 10:31

I was brought up in a shoes off house. DH wasn't.

So when the oldies visit - my DPs hang around by the kitchen door making a pile of shoes, and his just wobble in.

I like to be bare foot in the house. Ds does. DH does sometimes.

The rule is though you can wear shoes in the house (but most of my friends and family take theirs off anyway) but not upstairs. However no one needs to go upstairs as they can use downstairs loo. We had new pale beigey carpets on the stairs and all the bedrooms so they need to stay as clean as possible.

I do dislike the thought of all the germs and yukk.. from outside on the downstairs carpets, particularly when I am doing my 30 Day Shred in the lounge... yukkk.. I also often sit on the floor when watching tv.

When we visit other houses DS always takes his shoes off, even at the ILs who are astounded that he does it.

It is much more comfortable too to be shoe free surely?

farfallarocks · 28/08/2012 10:34

I personally hate getting all dressed up to go a dinner party (including a nice pair of heels) and then being asked to take my shoes off, I don;t want to walk around bare foot or in tights, I am not 5 years old. I think its the height of rudeness actually and unless someone is trailing mud through your home

farfallarocks · 28/08/2012 10:36

And yes I agree, very nouveau/chavy

WavingLeaves · 28/08/2012 11:31

Yes, it's positively mean to make people remove their shoes if they only have tights on underneath.

Tights aren't made to be worn without shoes, especially sheer ones which ladder as soon as you look at them.

They also look horrible without shoes covering them (especially if they have been worn more than once and are a bit snaggy), and leave sweaty footprints on tiled floors.

pictish · 28/08/2012 13:23

Babyrabbits I consider your dd telling your guest to take their dirty shoes off because mummy will have to clean up after them when she is very busy, phenomenally rude and precocious! Shock

You might think she's a lovely well mannered girl...the rest of us do not!

Do NOT encourage your little daughter to tell adults off. Ever. She will be disliked for it, and it will your fault.

WhoKnowsWhereTheTimeGoes · 28/08/2012 14:44

A polite "sorry, would you mind taking your shoes off, we've just got new carpets" is one thing, and I would of course do so, but if nothing was said by the adult and then a small child spoke like that, I would fully expect the child to be corrected by the mother, as they should be whenever they are rude to an another person. I would be mortified if my child spoke to an adult like that. If it became clear that the mother was actively encouraging it, I would be gobsmacked.

NellyJob · 28/08/2012 15:22

I have trained my pre schooler to insist that people remove shoes. She will ask you why you have not removed your dirty shoes. She will tell you that the floors will need cleaning, that mummy is busy...she has shamed a few guests
god that is so rude.
I thought good manners were about putting people at their ease.....not making them feel uncomfortable and embarrassed and 'shamed'.
I have a friend who is very houseproud and would make kids take off shoes but tells adults to relax and keep theirs on....

AdoraBell · 28/08/2012 16:23

My DD has told guests "you have to take your shoes off, Daddy says so" out if my ear shot. One guest, at a BBQ, a teacher , meekly obliged. When I heard about it I wanted to throttle OH told both DDs not to do that again - Daddy's obsession = daddy can enforce it- and asked said teacher when she started taking orders from a six year old ? We're good friends and had a giggle over it, but I was mortified

Viviennemary · 28/08/2012 16:31

I certainly wouldn't want to be taking orders from a five year old. (Certainly not someone else's!) Training a five year old to order adult guests to take their shoes off. Shock If my five year old told guests what they could and couldn't do they would get a sharp reprimand from me.

Mintyy · 28/08/2012 16:35

Aibu to find the idea of being lectured about manners by a 5 year old utterly hilarious?

DystopianReality · 28/08/2012 16:53

Agree with Outtolunch Urrgh, what's this precious, cream carpet mentality?

Yuk, yuk yuk.... Even in the 50's/60's people didn't do that. What is this?90's preciousness?

Such bad taste, darling. Make your guests feel welcome and they may come again and feel at home, shoes off and you're leaving your friends at the garden gate....