Fledgling Flyers Olympic August thread.

[BitchyDragons]

Ok so not the wittiest of titles but this month we have the Olympics, holidays, return of football season and heading into the new school year. It's going to be a busy one...

Firstly thanks to Blue and Ellie who kept us on track last month!

Right, most of you should know how this works. It's a three pronged attack.
Phase one: The babysteps master these and you will be working like clockwork.
Phase two: Adding in Decluttering this will help you keep on top of the amount of stuff contributing to CHAOS.
Phase three: Missions Targeted activities to keep the chaos at bay and starting the deep cleaning.

The golden duster of Flying is stage 4: deep cleaning. This is for most, unrealistic and should only be considered once you have completely decluttered. PA might achieve this simply by virtue of some extreme life decluttering. Although I probably won't recommend her method.

Now for those of you who are completely lost, lets rewind a bit.
CHAOS: Can't have anyone over syndrome. Yep you know that state where you are embarrassed to have play dates fucking hate that phrase or people pop in unexpectedly.
The fly lady approach works by breaking the house down into tiny activities which you do repeatedly yep sounds bad written like that but bare with me and then build up into a routine that becomes habit and you stop thinking about it no really, you do.

Clearer? Yeah ok. I have probably lost you but there is loads of support and help on this thread. If you are confused then ask. However, as this thread starts on the 1st on August I refuse to post the first babystep until later today.

This thread comes with a warning: For those of you who have not yet encountered my leadership of the thread. Be afraid, very afraid aware that I have a rather unorthodox approach and that things can get a tad unpredictable. Starting with a namechange. So who?s on board this month?

Oh and spot markers can help themselves to a magic eraser and ensure there are no marks on the thread for the start of the month. Let?s start as we mean to go on

One question though. What is the mother like with conflict or hearing her child cry?

My parenting style is different from others in some respects. I have to be far stricter and rules applied without flexibility in some respects but then in others people think I am too relaxed eg ds using the kettle at 3. He used the kettle at three because his obessive side of his sn meant that he would use it what ever, and I needed to make sure that he knew how to use it safely. Out of choice he wouldn't have been using the kettle that young. In this house we avoid if, buts and maybes. It is always You do this then this will happen kinda parenting and follow through is essential no chance to earn back ifyswim. He has no control of decisions. Some parents can give their child a choice - what's for tea, what to do etc. Which leads to a spiral of controlling behaviour from ds. So he gets to chose how he behaves, he choses his clothes, he can chose what activity he can do when he has free time. And he gets to chose what he can have on his sandwich. But not that he is having a sandwich.
It is a different way of parenting but tbh I don't think there is much difference to how i would have parented had ds had sn or not. I don't believe in children being in control of the household and I do believe in children learning to be independant. I think the strictness of adherance to rules and the timings is the biggest difference.

Does that help?

Yes. It does explain things very well.

I tend to do much the same with DS although probably not as rigidly. So he chooses a bath or a shower but doesn't get to choose not to wash

I guess I'll never know, but did make me think!

Next time I decide that digging up part of the garden is a good idea will someone lock me in a cage until I change my mind? The part I dug up looks great, but my hole body is aching, I filled the grass bin up with soil then read on the top that soil isn't allowed so now they might not take it away, and I filled it too full so it fell on me. So now I have a bruise on my leg and a full of soil grass bin on its side in the garden

Whole**

Oh dear Lauren

I have been up since earlier. Not had the energy to do anything. But now getting really restless. Might take a small slow walk and see if that helps. 2 1/2 weeks til ds goes back to school. I feel so under prepared.

Carpe - actually, I have to say it's hard not to pull my judgey pants up when listening to your story. DC with SNs still have to learn to fit into society (hard lesson for me to learn, but I learnt it after a long argument discussion with DS1's clinical nurse when he was nine and being very inflexible) and having SNs does not mean you can hurt people with impunity. Whether the child had SNs or not, he still needed reprimanding and the DC who had been hurt needed lots of attention and cuddles. I suppose that maybe the mum didn't reprimand Z because she knew that would trigger a tantrum in public, so she was trying to distract him instead. However, if either of my DC had behaved like that and followed it up by jumping on their friend from a great height, I would have taken them home.

Bitchy - I take your point, but your son wasn't hurting anyone except himself with the things he was doing. I do think there has to be zero tolerance if DC hurt other people (spoken by someone who sustained far too many bruises for my liking from my SN's child and for whom zero tolerance did finally work).

lauren - sorry to hear you got a bit too carried away in the garden and have sustained injuries!

Well, I managed to drag my sorry self off to the appointment with DH and DC. We were gone three hours and came home to an amazing welcome from the holiday dog. How can you not fall for a creature who is so patently delighted to welcome you home? She was jumping up and licking us in delight. DH and DS1 have taken her out for a long walk now, taking with them the new toys I've bought for her. DH is very amused that I can't stop buying her little treats now. He doesn't know there's more in the post .

Off to flake out now and let DS2 have his turn on the computer.

Oh i agree with you it needs disciplining. I would in those circumstances and would have just taken ds home. full stop don't behave you go home. But my point was there was insuffient information to judge whether sn was involved or parenting choices. And that whilst my style has been modified by the sn requirements my overview to parenting hadn't. I personally would have had my judgy pants properlly hoiked.

My DS has SNs too, but no way would he get away with that sort of behaviour any more than DD, but the techniques might be different. Actually, in his case they wouldn't be much different. I would spell out to both of them exactly why it was wrong, which would take longer with DS, extract an apology and be very vigilant for any further signs of it being about to happen again, which would mean immediate removal both from the scene and of privileges at home. I would not just sit back and let it happen again.

That is one of the tricky aspects of the SN thing, is working out which things they do because they have SNs, and which they do because they are being naughty, or doing what any other child that age might get up to. I agree with Toffee that they do have to live by society's rules just like the rest of us, but it can be harder getting them there.

I'm all behind this week and really shouldn't be on here.....

I feel well again! Day 3 of the anti-b's was def a turning point and I made the most of no work today and potted about doing jobs here and there.

House looks immaculate. :)

Really starting to feel the benefits of decluttering now. It's only taken about 2yrs!

Off to ikea on Sunday, can anyone suggest some (small) things I might like to purchase?

Tomorrows list

Daily wash, dry, fold and put away
Print off cubs form, complete and post it
Post baby photo to friend
Get ikea list finalised
De emptied and restacked
Phone repairman

Waves to everyone! :)

Hi all,
I quite like this list thing- I did all the things on my list (admittedly only 3 things!)
Tomorrow I need to:
Put laundry away
Get clothes ready for week away
Shop for stuff for holiday and for journey
Hoover

Bitchy - oh yes, I see what you mean now. I agree with you re the lack of info on assessing SNs in that child.

WhoKnows - I agree with you too about struggling to understand which bad behaviour is down to SNs and which is down to normal naughtiness. Got very cross with DS1 this evening for calling the dog a 'bitch' in front of DS2 (I keep having to reprimand him for using inappropriate language, especially as I don't want my younger son picking it up. Sometimes he's being literal and not understanding an inappropriate situation and sometimes he's just testing me). DS1 said, all earnestly, "But she is a bitch, Mummy. A boy dog is a dog and a girl dog is a bitch." Couldn't argue with that.

NickNacks - so glad (and rather ) that you are feeling better.

Cakebot - we went through a phase on this thread of only listing three things on our lists. It gave us all a sense of achievement.

Slept for five hours after my last post and had great difficulty waking up. I think travelling knocked me out. MIL is coming again tomorrow. Am wondering if I need stronger antibiotics. Have just finished Day 4 and am feeling bloody awful still . My best friend texted to see how I was; I told her that I was leaving her my Spanx knickers in my will .

How long was the course you were given toffee?*

7 days. Have just finished Day 4. It's the low dose - 250mg 3 x a day. Just thought I'd be turning a corner by now.

Sometimes on the low dose with a 7 day course it is closer to day 5 or 6 before I start to feel better. Sometimes a second stronger course is needed. Hope you feel better soon.

I hope you're right and that tomorrrow or Saturday will be a turning point. If not, I'll go back to the doc on Monday. It's so frustrating. I'm not used to being incapacitated . How are you feeling today, Bitchy?

Better done fuck all though. It's annoying. Going to get some food and then try to get some sleep.

Don't ask.

Friday is date night plus clear out your purse and car.
Babystep 17 Set a bedtime and stick to it. I totally suck at this one
Missions

Morning! Didn't make it back last night and I have no idea why! I still havent bathed the dogs, poor things! Just a list dump for now!

To do:
Mindees DD and dogs to park
Routines
Bath dogs
Clean bathroom
Clean out handbag
My laundry and put away
Shopping later

no date night to night so it's pamper night instead

BBL!

Hi, can I creep back in quietly please?

I was doing ok back in April/June and had done loads of decluttering/babysteps, but since the school hols it's all gone to pot! Ds's have a friend over to play this am and I'm already about the thought of it - thank god his Mum's not coming for a natter too....

So plan is that whilst the 3 of them wreak havoc upstairs, I blitz downstairs and the bathrooms, hoover and clean and try to get on top of the laundry.

Will BBL to report back!

Only a list dump this morning as it's all got a bit wrong as DH wasn't well last night. Not ill enough not to go to work, but still icky.

Lay away clothes
Clothes washing for us in machine
Undies/jammies washing for us
Change & washing our bedding
DS clothes wash
DS bed wash
Trip to ASDA
WAH job

Good luck everyone!

Hi all,

Yesterday's morning's outing raged out of control and we didn't make it back until after 2.30. Then had a CBA rest of the day, and got diddly squat done.

Was supposed to go visit a friend today, but received a txt from her saying she's been violently throwing up, thinks it might be from yesterday's dinner, but did I still want to come over? Erm, no thank you! I did offer to pick up her DS and have him over at ours but she's managed to sort things out with her parents and her DH. Thing is if I get sick I have no family on either side here to help out, and DH would find it almost impossible to work from home, or if he did manage to cancel the day's meetings, actually get any work done from home! Did feel like a crap friend for saying no, as I think she really wanted someone around for her as well, and not just someone to help with her DS.

Right, off to do some crisis cleaning

To do list:
15 minute sessions in every room in the house......

Did a long post, then lost connection . No energy to do it all over again, so will just to you all instead.

Basic routines done this morning. Felt as if I'd run a marathon and had to go back to bed afterwards. Going back to doc's this afternoon.

Update for motivation:

Lay away clothes
Clothes washing for us
Undies/jammies washing for us
Our bedding - postponed
DS clothes wash - ^tonight*
DS bed wash - after his nap
Trip to ASDA - after his nap
WAH job

Doesn't look too bad does it?

After DH called, I have decided to leave my normal Friday bed linen wash as he's apparently going through a fever phase and is alternately hot&sweaty or cold&clammy. So would have to do bed tomorrow again - one extra night won't kill us although if he's as bad as he says he is (note still at work!) then I can see my solo shopping trip disappearing