PLEASE HELP! WE ARE THE SMELLY FAMILY! WHAT CAN I DO??

[debka]

My mum just said that my house, me, DH and DDs have a distinctive and not-entirely-pleasant smell. DD1 is 3 and my mum is worried that she will be The Smelly Girl in school :(

I am horrified at this. I had no idea.

DDs are small and I am a SAHM. I probably don't clean enough- probably a good going over once every 3 weeks a fortnight. Clothes all washed frequently. Girls bathed daily, I shower every other day.

DH, however, is another matter. He has a wash and cleans his teeth every day, but only showers about once a month, if that. Underwear changed daily, t-shirt probably twice a week. I don't notice him smelling, but apparently he does :( I will talk to him about it but I doubt he will do anything. If I get the house and linen etc in tip top sparkly condition will he infect it all with smelliness? :(

Please, any ideas, advice, encouragement very welcome.

Bloody hell. He showers once a MONTH????

I reckon he's the source of the problem. I'm trying not to imagine what his feet must smell like...... let alone the rest of him. Ewwwwww.

Could you entice him to come swimming once a week? (Preferably after his next bath for his first time) Then at least he will be thoroughly cleaned on a regular basis.

If your house is damp enough to have mouldy walls then your really must open the windows to really air it EVERY day. The spores from the mould can be quite bad for your health.
I was told to turn the heating up so the air in the house is warm because warm air can hold more moisture and then open all the windows so that the warm damp air is replaced with dryer air from outside.
As others have said, how do you dry your clothes? If you don't have a tumble dryer and you are drying them indoors then that will also make your house damp (and clothes that don't dry quickly enough have a horrible smell) Don't dry your clothes on the radiator, put them on an airer and again you must open the windows.

I'm almost sure it will be damp smell from the mould. Get some air in.

No, you both have your work cut out. But I think once you get MrSkank hygienic, and a good cleaning schedule going, it will be easy.

But you MUST open those windows. Every day. A foetid damp and warm house is incredibly unhealthy, and a paradise for mould - which can be dangerous.

My Db dries his clothes inside and over winter they dry slowly and do smell (I'm not as brutally honest as your mum and haven't said anything tho).

Also, my DH used to smoke - although never in the house/near drying clothes or anything. I never noticed a smell, until I went away for a couple of days and realised that all the 'clean' clothes I got out to wear stank of cigarette smoke. :( Some smells are just pervasive and if you live with it you just don't notice it!

I'd guess your smells are probably a mix of damp/musty smell and lack of washing.

To fix:

• Air the house well (and repeat daily until smell is gone, then every couple of days to keep damp and smells at bay)! Damp is not good for you - let alone the smell. Get a dehumidifier if DH keeps closing windows.
• Clean house from top to bottom.
• Rewash all clothes and tumble dry/take to laundrette.
• Start a new regime of you and DH bathing/showering daily.

Good luck with it.

Well Done for taking it on the chin and actually asking for advice.

Lots of people would have got defensive and not taken it so well

DH is an issue by himself. In some ways he is a 12yo. It is hard to tell him anything. He is always right. He is self employed because he is too arrogant to work for anyone else and works from home most of the time. He is depressed, I am sure, but a lot less severely than he was, now that he is busier with work.

He sounds a right catch, doesn't he :(

Don't let him off with saying the bathroom is cold, I dread showering in winter too because our bathroom is cold but I just make sure I have nice dry clean towels at the ready and run into the bedroom and get dried there.

If he gets his clothes ready in advance he needn't be cold for longer than 30 seconds!

It's part of life, he'll have to get used to it!

Your DH does need to shower once a day.

If your house is mouldy then it can make everyone and everything in it have a peculiar musty smell. You need to air the house and cure the damp problem.

Jesus, make him shower before he gets in a public pool

You mentioned you think your DH might be depressed? His lack of motivation to be clean could be behind that perhaps?
It sounds like you've got used to the smell in your house, so it's good you've had a wake up call from someone close enough to be able to tell you.

I'd say your DH needs clean clothes daily and a shower at least every other day. I change my bedding weekly and towels about every 2/3 days.
Do you have pets? My dogs bed gets washed at least once a week, more often if I can smell it.

when we just moved into our house anf i did the washing and hung it on an airer in the dining room 9small house nowhere to dry) i didnt have te heating on as it wasnt cold and dint open the windows after a day and a half the room had a distinct smell coming from it.. i open my windows for a little bit every day now.

I hoover every, little and often is easier than a mega onslaught.

Urgh the thought of that swimming pool. uuurrrrghhhhhhh.

being clean and depression are often together

can you warm up the bathroom?

incense sticks are good for smells in houses and cheap. I burn incense and have a cleaning day when I open the windows upstairs and change the beds. I love getting in clean sheets in an aired bedroom - small things please me

I don't really want to turn this into a thread for the Relationships board, just a bit of info on DH.

So my plan is-

Air the house every day.
Persuade DH to shower at least every week or turn the pressure washer on him
Clean bedding twice a week
Clean towels twice a week
Bins emptied daily
Kitchen and bathroom cleaned daily

I'd chase him into the shower with a bloody whip.

Maybe I will buy a little fan heater and warm the bathroom up for him, then he won't have an excuse not to shower.

Urgh incense. Buy some beeswax and use it.

Your DP needs to shower every day. Just being clean will help him feel better.

Nappies out daily too Deb

No, not every week. At least every other day, preferably every day. He will still smell if he is only showering once a week.

A good airing every day will help. Agree with others, wash bedding weekly

Could you treat your dp to some lovely smellies. Lush do a good solid shampoo which lasts for ages. A good wash and some strong anti perspirant deo. I am very sweaty and can recommend Mitchum or Sanex.

Good luck.

Good idea, but he also needs to shower more than once a week. At least 4 or 5 times minimum. Be firm with him.

Lay out clothes in advance of the shower on the radiator. It's lovely putting on warm clothes if you're cold.