Flinging our way through the chaos: February’s Fledgling Flyers

[LinzerTorte]

Welcome to the February edition of the Fledgling Flyers' thread.

If you're living in CHAOS (Can't Have Anyone Over Syndrome), this is the thread for you! We follow the tips on the FlyLady website in an attempt to restore order to our homes, but advise against signing up for the e-mails; all the information you need is on this thread.

Each day, I'll be posting the links that will enable you to do any of the following:

• start or repeat babysteps

• repeat babysteps and do 15 minutes a day decluttering in the current zone

or

• reinforce babysteps and do daily missions if you have finished decluttering.

More information about the babysteps is here.

So please join us - there's always plenty of chat, , cake, encouragement and the occasional to help us on our way!

Evening! I have done paid work, hoovering and ironing today. Tbh, the house bleugh was a welcome chance to move around and warm up a bit! Have made pasta in cheese sauce which the boys are devouring happily.

Whoever asked about control journals (on phone, sorry!) - I don't have one as such. I have a list of jobs for each day upstairs by the pc and a pad downstairs with to do lists, packing & party lists...

My control journal isnt a control journal as such. It contains, actually i am not sure what it contains as I haven't looked at in ages. Perhaps this is why I am back again just doing the babysteps and the house still looks like a bomb has hit it despite having been flying since almost the beginning for the fledglings However, I have strategies and do make some progress as the total quantity of clutter and chaos has been slightly reduced clutches at straws

Dedalus - not forgotten have been stupid busy and will reply asap.

Ta da:
load of laundry
find all bits of paper for meeting in nxt town
have brain turned into mush by said meeting
print off ds' homework and submit
Parent's evening
Get ingrediants for tea for tomo.

To do
Toooo fucking much, pass the coffee

Evening all
I'm rather enjoying this Flying lark. I had a stranger in my house earlier and I wasn't ashamed to let them in
I have only been doing baby steps but I think my mentality is changing and I pick up shite after myself (and everyone else) far more than I used to!
Even DH is getting tidier!!!

Ta da:
Load of washing & hung on airer
Washing up
Swish bathroom
DS clothes out for tomorrow

To do:
Sink
Make my lunch for work tomorrow
Put my clothes out
Have a hot bath

No ironing to do as yesterday's load was sheets

Thank you. I do write down things I need to do, but not every day is the same, so not sure about writing routines will have a read about it more I think.

Bitchy you may not have forgotten, but I had!

TA DA
Everyone still in one piece at the end of the day
Horses all done
Hall tidied and swept
Everyone fed at appropriate points through the day
New dishy here! Yay!!
New dishy filled and on
Kids in bed
Downstairs tidied round
Highchair and mat cleaned

TO DO
Drink Hot Choc
Watch crap on telly
Empty dishy and reload
Fold dry washing
Hang up wet washing
Put washload on

WhoKnows your stategy is a great one and one we also use to combat our DD shyness. She started Brownies and everyone had a special friend and knew each other apart from her so it is hard but we suggested she say hello to 5 girls when she arrives and more importantly to smile, and to say goodbye to 5 girls when she leaves and to use their names. It does work but she needs encouragement and reminding. I do tell her the best way to make friends is to be a friend so if she sees someone upset or being left out to go and talk to them or smile at them. DD is 7 and an only child so finds it hard but seems fine at school and on playdates although she just has a small handful of close friends.

Things are pretty crazy. or perhaps chaotic is a better way to describe it. I have drunk too much coffee but not enough. Have too much to do but no motivation. And ds is not sleeping great. Actually he is sleeping fucking awfully. However, I am going to compound the caffine issue with coke and try to get some stuff done. Thankfully ds is good at entertaining himself.

So the first thing i am going to do is update this months calendar and nxt months with the information that I have. Then I am going to tackle more of my room. I will be walking zombie tomo anyway so might as well be a walking zombie for a decent reason

Evening all,

Have just finished work so will post the links and then collapse into bed. Apologies for lack of personals - I've been reading everyone's posts, but have had little time to comment with the DC around and the novelty of the tiler starting to wear off very slightly! He worked until fairly late tonight but turned down the offer of an evening meal so that he could get his work finished (although I did end up making him a couple of bread rolls to keep him going). We, or rather he and the DC, also managed to get through an entire cake between us today. Must see what we have in the freezer for tomorrow...

Just wanted to say to WhoKnows that I really do sympathise with what your DD is going through and that it sounds like you have some good ideas to combat it. I was incredibly shy as a child and no one ever really made an effort to help me - I was just left to get on with it and had a very long period (from about 9 to 16) without any real friends. I remember hiding from my primary school teacher at playtime so that he didn't see that I wasn't playing with anyone - he did pick up on it, but didn't do anything about it. Absolutely everyone labelled me as shy, which is extremely unhelpful as it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy and makes you even more self-conscious about talking to people. I think you "just" have to set yourself small goals (e.g. talk to five people a day) and once you've achieved those, things start to seem much easier. Despite having gone through it myself, however, I do struggle to help the DDs with their shyness - not as extreme as mine (they were chatting away to the tiler earlier, for example, which I would never have dared to do as a child), but they are very unsure of themselves in new situations and DD1 in particular lacks social confidence.

Sorry, that seems to have turned into a bit of an essay. Back in a moment with the links!

Thanks for all your comments re DD. LadyIP sounds as though you're bit further on with this than us, I will make smiling and looking at them the next step and saying goodbye after that. I have arranged to have a quick chat with her teacher tomorrow.

Had a fairly long chat with DS's teacher tonight as we are in the middle of a long interval between parent's evenings. She was very positive about him and used to be a SENCO in a previous job so has quite a lot of knowledge about SN. So that was quite reassuring. I had been worried because he says at least once a day that he hates going to school and it is hard. Hopefully I can reassure him a bit now that his hard work is paying off.

Er, Flying fail again today. Basic routines done but no detailed stuff. The kitchen is the only properly decluttered part of the house really, so I should be doing detailed cleaning, maybe tomorrow.

Dedalus I have routines and to do lists, which I make in my a5 diary at the beginning of the week and edit during the week. I don't write down the routine stuff.

MummyNick glad to hear about your change in attitude for the better, I definitely think Flying has helped my self esteem.

TheWaffler a urinal, really? That made me laugh. I thought I had problems with DH and his endless collection of hi-FI separates.

Toffee your dialogue of conversation with the DCs when trying to get out of the house made me LOL the other day. Ours sounds much the same except DD pipes up in a self-righteous voice "Mum, you said God, that's naughty Mum, you said you weren't going to say that again Mum". aarghh.

Thursday's links

Thursday's babystep is to read FlyLady's tips about how to declutter and add a five-minute room rescue to your morning routine.

The mission is spend 15 minutes wiping down the surfaces of the oven, fridge and dishwasher.

Finally, Thursday is errand day. I have the horrible feeling I might have to go and buy some tiles, which has been scary enough when I've done it with DH. Perhaps I could send him before work...

Hello all. I feel a tad guilty for lurking and not posting often but I love the inspiration of this thread. I have had a serious Germ invasion leading to outbreaks of puking kids and days off school. The antithesis of Flying.
But I am sitting in a tidy kitchen, with a shined sink and I am ignoring the clutter bomb that went of in the rest of the house so I am happy.

Tomorrow I declutter!

Don't worry about it Meg the thread moves so fast that it is hard to keep up, I have spells of lurking more than posting but it is always nice to come back and even nicer to hear that other people have found it inspiring.

WhoKnows - glad I'm not the only one with dialogues like mine in the morning. Funnily enough, I am working on stopping DS2, in particular, from saying "God!" as an exclamation and have told him to say "Goodness!" instead. My mother, who we are visiting on Saturday, finds it offensive and I get worn out with her telling him off, then telling me off for letting him say it. DS2 has done a good job at stopping himself, but now he's telling me off for saying it . Glad you were reassured by your chat with your DS's teacher. DS2 says, every day, that he wants to be home educated. I take it with a pinch of salt because he then runs into school happily. This evening, he wanted to know what the word 'necessary' meant. I explained that it was to do with something you needed. He looked thoughtful, then said, "Mummy, is school really necessary?"

Wannabe - glad you are enjoying a clutter-free kitchen and shiny sink. The rest of the house can wait.

Linzer - I am amused that the tiler seems to have moved in as your DH moves out and that you are even providing food for him. Is there something we should know ?

LadyinPink - I like the social strategies you are teaching your DD for making friends. One or two friends is fine, I always think. My issue with DS1 was always to do with eye contact: I used to have to emphasise smiling and looking into people's eyes over and over again, as he hated making eye contact.

Bitchy - sorry things are tough. I hope you are not a walking zombie tomorrow.

Blue - DH and I watched the final episode of 'Borgen' last night. I am bereft. I had became so attached to all the characters and I don't know how I'm going to wait for the next series.

I managed to tick off the main tasks on my list today, ie. sort kitchen; do paid work; laundry and ironing. Also dragged suitcase out of loft so that I can pack tomorrow. DH has promised to declutter the house of the numerous boxes of books before we leave to visit my Mum.

Speaking of social skills, again - DS2 embarrassed me hugely this afternoon: we were walking home with a very nice mum and her son, who live near us. DS2 hung back, whilst we were walking ahead and chatting. Suddenly, he shouted, at the top of his voice, "Mummy, do we have to walk with THEM?" Had to have a little chat with DS2 about manners on our return home.

Tomorrow: change bedclothes (so we all come back home to clean sheets - Flylady tip); pack; finish room rescues and decluttering; take children to have their hair cut (hoping to persuade them to have it washed first, which they both hate, but it would save me the bother. Also hoping neither of them have nits!); visit MIL. Ludicrously busy on Friday, so I need to be packed and ready by tomorrow.

Off to bed in a minute, so goodnight all.

Kitchen tidy and shiny here too (though not sink which is a bit manky but empty at least!)

An exhausting day even with DH to help. Ds2 in difficult mood and ds1 chewing books again (which DH hates) a bit like having a large St Bernard puppy in the house, does anyone else's child do this? Chew things incessantly?

Friend round for coffee after school whilst we were waiting for 2nd child to arrive back from a trip, and she said house was looking tidier than she had ever seen it So I felt a bit better.
DD to Brownies, nearly in Guides [gulp] 10 in March!

Reorganisation conversation was re: everything really! It takes a whole day to get an hour's attention from Dh on the matter, and by the end he was rollng his eyes angrily.

linzer I never would have imagined you being shy! And your children sound v very sociable, always seeing friends and having friends round to play, you must have done something brilliant there!

Re: control journal, I only just found mine...but it does have some good phone nos and info in it like insurance nos, aa membership no pass port nos - and so forth.. I never write down my routines, they are glaringly obvious, it is just a question of doing them unfortunately

Bitchy at least he entertains himself! Ds2 seems to have given up that recently I think he is longing to get back to school really and be told what he is supposed to be doing..

Toffee love the use of "necessary" by Ds2
Chatting to anyone on the way home from school is considered betrayal by my kids, they like to get all my attention, but I do it anyway

whoknows pleased teacher on board and seems switched on

toffee that made me chortle, kids can be so blunt and so truthful that its cringe inducing, Iwas once visited by a good friend who has moved south, so we don't see very often, she had bought her 5 year old son with her, to my dismay, he declared that 'mummy I want to go because this house is stinky' , I was mortified and convinced that a 5 yr old simply states it as it is, I did have a big vase of Lilly's which were giving off an aroma, but worried he didn't mean that, have been conscious about it since!

swan can you wait until dh is away somewhere and then do it anyway? Your system will obviously be far superior and maybe he needs to see it in action before admitting defeat or is this just likely to infuriate?

Today I finished my control.journal, I haven't really been on top of zones yet, so useful to see what they incorporate. Some of the lack of detailed clean has been because am waiting to declutter - last week did under the stairs in an afternoon, today, I did the pantry. These were the last 2 areas of crap, so delighted to have completed, neither as bad as expected. Sustained injury when disposing of some large glass storage containers which I purchased many moons ago thinking could store flour, sugar etc in, but never have, not in this house, or our last house, so today finally got rid. However, got rid into recycling bin and pondered dh may spot them and consider them useful for storing nails, screws and the like (he already has a 1000 recepticles of this nature), so to stop him retrieving them, thought should smash them for extra measure, and cut finger open

As I cleaned and arranged the pantry and utilised old ice cream tubs for packet mixes etc, found myself yearning for and considering the merits of ......a label maker? Do such things exist? Am I taking things a step too far and need to be restrained?

I too have considered a label maker waffler especially since my writing is left-handedly irregular. They had some in Staples when I last went there about 6 months ago but I can't quite justify it (more clutter?).

I have read today's decluttering babystep and it fills me with dread. It is so what I need to do and I find it so difficult. I think the trouble is that all the other steps are just doing - shine sink, do a load of laundry - and that's not so bad, but this involves decisions so I can't just do it on autopilot.

Mmmmnnnn Staples

Wow, you guys have been chatting.
Hard to read right now as I don't have my contact lenses on yet (Anyone know where my glasses are?)
Still have dd1 at home recovering, so hope to achieve

clean kitchen
wash floors
organise toys
pick up dry cleaning
Hope for not too much squabbling today

be back later!

Morning all,

Have just taken DH to the station (he arrived back late last night) and am now waiting for the next man to arrive. You know me, Toffee - I do like to have a man about the house. Particularly one I can cook for. (Actually, I think DH has drawn the short straw - I never cook for him during the week and we share the cooking at weekends.)

waffler Well done on the control journal. I have also been considering a label maker - I think it was actually mentioned on the organised thread (someone had a Dymo IIRC). I can remember, as a very strange teenager, putting labels on all kinds of household objects (hoover, etc.) so that I would learn their names in French and German. I also saw something advertised yesterday - and have been racking my brains as to where - that you can connect to the computer and print out labels in any font you choose, which looked rather good.

swan Oh, I was painfully, cripplingly shy as a child and just couldn't talk to adults. I had to get my best friend to ask the teacher when I needed to go to the toilet (as an aside, the same best friend is the reason we're getting our bathroom done now). I'm fine on a one-to-one basis now, but am never going to be the life and soul of the party and will probably never feel very comfortable in large groups either.

I think two of the most important things with very shy children are to give them lots of praise to build up their self-confidence and also to invite friends over fairly regularly (both yours and theirs) so that they get used to interacting with others socially and see you doing so too. Without those two things, it's very very difficult as you really have to build up your own confidence and find your own strategies (v. difficult for children to do by themselves, obviously).

Meg No need to feel guilty - I sometimes go through spells of lurking rather than posting when I have too many other things going on. Hope everyone is better soon and good luck with the decluttering.

Must go as the children are demanding breakfast - well, DD1 has made and eaten hers as she wants to go and play in the snow, but DD2 and DS want porridge so had better go and make some. Oh, and man no. 2 has just arrived.

Morning all!

Super busy few days but am now looking forward to half term when I may actually get something done. I have to it is DD's 4th birthday in a week and we are having a family tea party here so everything needs to be sorted so expect big lists next week! For today my list looks like this:-

Survive

Have skim read and not remembered much but whoknows I do empathise with your situation re DD. I worry about DS in the same manner. He comes home from school sometimes saying no-one would play with him at playtime and it is so upsetting and I end up wondering why no-one else can see him for the lovely boy he is. He likes football but isn't very good but the 'footie' boys won't 'let' him play . I did speak to his teacher who said he seems happy enough, doesn't have loads of friends but has a couple he does play with quite a lot. I am not sure. It's so hard.

More snow forecast for us tonight. I wish it would just sod off.

Better go!

Big waves to one and all!

Morning just a list and run as older mindees are here ready for school run- eating breakfast I'm not negligent

To do:
School run
Dust
Laundry *1
DD to jingle tots
Walk dogs
Zumba
Hoover
Sweep/ mop kitchen floor
Today's mission? Need to look it up
Clean fridge- never got round to it yesterday

Someone asked me when I was expecting yesterday so I'm not going to that shop until I lose at least 3 stone, I've been spurred back into action!

Hi folks. Just popping in to say that I'm still trying to keep up with reading the thread, am hoping things will get slightly less hectic when DH gets back tonight. Am just about on top of my routines still (ok didn't shine my sink last night ), but been burning the candle at both ends which has left my brain a bit all over the place . Got to go. Have a good day everyone.

Ellie - we had problems with DS too, although he wasn't bothered about it, in fact it was his teacher who alerted us to the fact he was on his own at playtimes, he was fine about it, but had been getting bullied a bit and she was worried that he was vulnerable on his own. The teachers did help to get him involved in games on the playground, they play football and basketball. Match Attax are what has really integrated him into a group of friends better, they all take them in and look at each others now and swap them. I have to say though, he hardly ever gets invited round to play and when he is I suspect it is because the parent is reciprocating our invitations more than because the others want him there and I think he is still somewhat peripheral .

Got to get to work, back later.

thewaffler LOL at the glass jars...I suppose that's one thing I have to be thankful for, Dh has no interest in anything to do with DIY or mechanics..
No, unfortunately re-organisation consists of knocking down walls, re-locating enormous pieces of furniture, investing in new storage, rather than just re-arranging the contents of cupboards (which I do frequently)

oh dear, better go. Dd is at home with a fever, Ds2 has gone to school, very excited about Fulham Palace/T-dors tr-p so it is a bit of blow that she has now caught the same virus with knobs on I think Brownies last night was too much.

just popped in to say a quick hello - havent deserted you all, just been v busy with house 'stuff' and organising/packing for DS ski trip.

baby steps completed, sink shined, DW on, washing machine on, hoovering done, kitchen worktops scrubbed, dogs walked and just about to have breakfast then heading over to a friends for coffee (and to collect my sewing machine).

My Dining table is a hot stop - so that is going to be cleared later and all bits put away where they are supposed to go.