Remember, remember the fledgling Flyers: dusting, and decluttering a lot..

[DarknessSoothes]

Come one come all, fledgling reunite. 1st of the month and we survived the fright. Bonfire month and lets burn though the housework to prepare for the festivities of December.

As from the 1st we will be babystepping, mission and deep cleaning our way out of the C.H.A.O.S. (can't have anyone over syndrome).

For newbies and those who need reminding here is the principles behind the babystep system.

The basic is this:

1. Do the babysteps.
2. When you do the babysteps with consistency add in the missions
3. When you are doing the babysteps and missions as a habbit tackle the deep cleaning.

This thread is a mishmash of people at different stages. The lists can look long, but look carefully, some of us are reposting lists and parts of lists from day to day.

Our motto is this: Do not strive to be perfect, Progress is progress and anything is better then nothing and my personal favourite part of the fly lady system is you are never behind, just jump in and start from where you are.

So on that note here we go. With much thanks to Ellie who lead us with amusing roundups last month.

Day 1: Babystep 1 - How to shine your sink

Mission here - this will update overnight ready for the early fledglings

Tuesday's reminders are here: It's planning day

And for those of you who are eagerly awaiting christmas here is the flylady's crusing into christmas page. Personally i did some of this last year and done some this year and it does take a chunk of the stress out of christmas.

Well now that I have suitably scared you, see you all tomo!!

Thanks darkness and whoknows I think I'm going to try running a Hoover brush over them and if they are still dirty maybe do it in the bath?im not sure what colour they are supposed to be, white or cream? But they've been here since before I moved in and I think it's time I found out...they aren't brown by the way just a bit off white, we will see!

Ta da!
Ironing
Clean laundry away
Tidy bedrooms
Filing
Dust & mirrors - fits in nicely with mission!
5 mins rescue of home office
Empty Dyson and wash filters
Newsletter to printer
Posted new review on blog
Veg away in fridge

To do:
Collect boys
Boys' tea
Re-make beds
Wii Zumba

Lauren - I have one of these: microfibre Venetian blind cleaner. It's very effective. Don't know whether it would work for vertical blinds? Maybe something similar??

We replaced the slat bits on ours when we moved in, was much cheaper than replacing the whole things, the ones we inherited were manky. But it was only one set, not throughout the house.

Thank you for the very sympathetic responses and cheering words everyone. Especially as I moan about the same thing on and off virtually every month! It is v. comforting to be able to do so here though!!

You are spot on - it is the powerlessness hat's the most frustrating thing

Swan I think our friends are very polite or myopic inured to the fact that a piece of moulding is quite likely to drop on their head during supper! [Vast quantities of alcohol help] Dh doesn't "get" the humiliation I feel though - I don't think men feel that the physical state of the house represents or reflects "them" as much as us females do perhaps ...

Don't mind so much with v. close friends who know the situation we are in. It's more to do with visitors who come for first time (or - even worse- visitors who come annually and see absolutely no progress - deterioration in fact!)

However, much cheered on by the thought of a productive decade in my fifties!!

Wishing you courage for parents' evening tonight and good luck with sorting leak!

¨Justonemore you sound just like me! Have dreadful "all or nothing" tendencies but am considerably more consistent/less perfectionist since I've been Flying. Yes, am trailing spouse and we own house but can't afford to do it up atm (financial commitments elsewhere). There is a solution which is to get a loan from the bank - convert basement and roof and form separate apartments - we live in just part of house and rent the rest. But (a) would be very scary thing to take out a substantial loan right now (it would cost a small fortune to do up) and not sure very wise in this financial climate (b) not sure I could bear to lose the privacy we have now but think we should be trying to make some money out of it while we are still young enough to endure it!

Lauren sorry - not sure how to tackle those sorts of blinds. Prob too late now but might be worth calling a blind shop for advice?

Madwoman good luck with getting the figures to cooperate!!

Am feeling chuffed about the exercising but 1. need to keep it up 2. need to keep up with Flying too (seems to be one or other atm ) 3. work out why one hour's exercise seems to take nearly two hrs of time out of my day (I'm power walking from front door so it's not as if I am travelling back or forth to gym or anything ) So no room for complacency!

Darkness Glad you are feeling a bit better!

LadyinPink it is amazing what sparkly windows can do for one's morale!
Dh keeps texting me from foreign climes to ask why I haven't sent him this or that ...

oops -that last line should have read

"better get back to work because" dh keeps texting me etc etc

i thought in a rather ironic way i would do a list update in the hope that i might regain some sanity... lost cause today

Dentist appointment
Laundry one load done more to do
move ironing board
move furniture.
tidy dining room
tidy utility room
finish emptying car not happening today
wash uppolstery of car. see above
--Drink lots of caffine.-
deal with dm who has been a pita today
deal with stroppy ds befor school
shout self hoarse at ds on way home from school
speak to ex
swimming lesson and sort out time for next group of lessons
deal with another meltdown by ds
lose voice
cook tea
help ds sort his diary out so he knows what he is doing and when because aparantly it being on the huge poster on the wall of the lounge isnt enough
supervise 2 short stick and ball runs
throw ds' kit over lounge to air
bake a carrot cake - I fancy eating one so it needs making first.
early night. - might be optomistic considering.

Darkness, sounds like it might be time for that babysitter again?
Is your DS going through a particular difficult time or something?
Beginning to get quite intrigued by it all in a completely wish I could help kind of way, rather thank curtain-twitching thread friend.

DD2 has been up since 7am (that's ok)
Didn't end up having afternoon nap (I want muumeeee wa wa wa)
Just put her down for evening (I want mummeee wa wa wa)
WHAT IS WRONG WITH HER TODAY I CAN'T TAKE ANOTHER FRIGGING MINUTE OF IT!!!!!!

Sorry, not relevant to flying, except this means that floor washing and paperwork are going to go out the window.

Onemore - over the last month there has been 2 deaths one family, one neighbour, ds is aspie and has problems with this time of year as 1. Nativity play - imagination, pretend, repeat telling of same story but in a different way, 2. Change of routine. 3. Change of time throws his routine and 4. christmas = emotions excitement etc which is never good. The result is one very stressed little boy who can't cope with emotions and stress who reacts behaviourally with rudeness, and violence.

Tbh feeling pretty calm as getting good at stepping away from it. Shouty in the moment don't take anything personally. Loud but not emotional iyswim. Would rather not shout but sometimes it is the only way to go. Have had a week of catching up with friends who haven't seen for a while which has really helped so not feeling like the babysitter is needed. Hopefully out tomo for coffee again and have a usual fri night out. Fri night outs are essential break from the madness of meltdowns.

That said when ds copes he is the most pleasent helpful little boy you could meet.

They go through stages like that. It is draining Don't worry about the flying help yourself onemore, will you let anyone else in need help themselves too please.

Darkness really sorry to hear about all that.
I'm a teacher who's dabbed in to special needs and planning to properly qualify in that when I go back to work.

I've taught two asperger's children in my shortish career, and I must say I still think of them so often, they are so special and they really stayed in my heart. A third one I spotted in my last year of teaching, he was 7 at the time and no-one had quite picked up on it yet (developing country, not so much awareness). I tried to talk to the parents and never knew what came out of it. To this day I desperately worry for him and wonder if his following teachers understood him (teacher before me didn't).

When one of them won a race on sports day my colleague and I were holding the finishing line and we could see him running towards us with this huge happy smile... we both cried!

I must say I have often felt that out of all the special needs I've come across (and surprisingly quite a lot considering short career) autistic spectrum must be one of the hardest for parents to deal with.

Re-the shouting.. ehr, I hate to admit I can be quite a shouty parent. And my children are no more challenging than other children I know... I put it down to my latin temperament. Actually I feel you've got the point there loud but not emotional I've always thought that about my shoutiness. My 4 year old now retaliates with 'ok there's no need to be so shouty!' I like her style (imagine when she's a teenager)

When I see threads where people say 'there is NO excuse for shouting at your child' I feel like hiding under a blanket and promise not to shout again!

Sorry to rant on and derail.

I am firmly esconced (spelling???) in the naughty corner, as is obvious with my prolific posting!!!!

BTW did you know there was a rival thread? There must be loads others, but it's all new to me....
Anyway, we're way better.

Obviously not doing very well on the anti-procrastination front here!

Procrastinating Pumpkins: The Autumn Relaunch
(162 Posts)

justonemore not as good as ours though I had a little look and they don't seem to do as much flying as us! Or maybe I read it wrong!

Ta da:
Washed up/dried/shine sink
Swept kitchen
Hoovered
Put laundry away
Went to library
Ordered replacement library books
Cleaned kitchen hotspot
Stripped and remade bed with clean sheets, washed old sheets
Washed another 2 loads and dried and put away
Mission
Sorted through 2 suitcases of clothes from when I moved in into sell, charity, keep and throw, packed charity bag ready for tomorrow threw throw pile
Organised to drop suitcases back at my nanas tomorrow

Not bad if I do say so myself!

for darkness and onemore and anyone else that needs it!im off to shower and sleep

There have been lots of fly lady threads. Tis fine. they all have a different feel.

Tbh it is when there is no obvious way to help ds to cope it is the hardest. He has calmed down a bit tonight, and is currently indulging in partical physics. I guess for an obsession he could do worse. I do however, feel sorry for his teacher as she will be educated in the latest delves into this subject and most adults can't comprehend string theory never mind nearly 7year olds. Ds on the other hand finds it pleasingly logical

Evening all,

Darkness - Sorry you're having a tough time with DS, I've been through the mill a bit with my DS today too (OneMore - he is 7 and AS). There are quite a few of us with SN children on this thread, I do wonder if there is a correlation with untidy houses! He has had a friend round to play, which always leaves me a nervous wreck because DS's social skills are really lacking and I just dread that the other child will not enjoy himself because of DS's odd behaviour. I have to spend time beforehand putting lots of toys out and making sure all the parts are there, time the night before going through all the "rules" with DS, and then hover the whole time in case I need to intervene, it is very stressful. Seemed to go OK tonight, I let them spend an hour on the Wii which DS is quite good at cooperating with. DS's current obsession is football, luckily I like football and so does his teacher (or at least she bluffs it well if she doesn't, she chats with him quite knowledgeably for which I am grateful).

I'm another one who feels like crying when I see those threads where people declare you ought to be reported to social services if you shout at your child, there was one tonight, I stopped myself reading it after a few posts.

SC - well done on the fitness, I know this is something you haven't found easy in the past. I know a bit how you feel with the house, ours is quite dilapidated, we have been putting repairs off for years on cost grounds, only doing the essentials, now we probably could afford to do more I've built it all up in my mind to be such a big project (loads of small things rather than one big one) that I don't know where to start, don't want the disruption and just bury my head in the sand. DH won't do anything unless there is actually water pouring out in or out somewhere it shouldn't be.

Sorry not to do more personals, I really just want to collapse with a glass of tonight

Evening all

Sory I haven't caught up. Didn't get either job. Got good feedback but it seems that I can'tdo anything to help myself get job. My app was outstanding, my lesson was great,my interview was good and again it came down to me and another. This time as its mid year they went with more experience. Anyway, I'm not sure if its lack of sleep or the stress coming out of me but I've ended up in floods of tears today. I'm just in dispair with it all. I really need both the money and the satisfaction of a job and I just don't know what I can do about it.

I think lots of in the naughty corner will make me feel better.

Shall we re-name it the wallowing in self-pity corner?
Sorry Makingchanges, probably sounds like a cliche but obviously wasn't meant to be and the job for you is still out there (I truly believe in that kind of way of thinking btw)

Whoknows loving how everyone is thinking they need to give explanation in brackets lest I should ask in my nosey-ness....
I'm not nosey. Just genuinely interested in other people!

I think onemore this is stuff that we assume people know as some of us have been on the thread since it started two years ago and there has been a lot of sn support going on alongside the flying support. We forget that the newer members are aware so when the questions arise it is easier to explain in on lump and then it is just an accepted fact again. Iyswim?

Sometimes I do wonder why ds has such abstract obsessions still working on the sport obsession though. might be a bit easier for him friends to understand. they pull this face the minute he starts explaining stuff then again so do a lot of adults. He has finally understood that my Dm really has little clue on science and Dsis had google on her phone which is brilliant

MC sorry about the jobs. it must be sooo fustrating when there is just nothing you can do to improve your chances. Hope you feel less sleep deprived soon.

WhoKnows that's me when ds2 has a friend round too, it is stressful supervising, or hovering as the case may be. But they do love it, so well done you, I think the more friends they have over time round the better they get at managing/relating to them (not lots at once of course) Most of ds2's friends seem to have Aspie tendencies anyway to an extent that he complains that they talk about nothing except Trains and Lego . He also quite likes being included with dd's friends' games, the more active hide and seek sort o games. Some of her friends find him very awkward though
Darkness ds2 hates to have his routine disrupted, and he hates too much going on. He does like being in a show though! Particle Physics, wow! Send some here..

done
Parents' Eve for ds1 went well - he seems to be just about surviving socially, and behaviour wise, except strangely enough in Art where he is disruptive B4's as opposed to A5's across the board, a few A5's, a few C3's (in Art) I feel I've waved my arms at far too many middleaged male teachers (it is a boys' school). Lots of good explanations and discussions. Poor teachers it must be utterly exhausting for them...we were there from 5pm-8pm. Ds1 had been in school (as had teachers) for 12 hours solidly. General consensus is he needs to read the questions!

That's what I like about this thread Just, we all came here to talk about housework but everyone is genuinely nice and interested in each other and over time we realise that we have a lot in common as well as the housework. I've been on this thread for 2 years now, that's around 24,000 posts and I have never seen anyone be anything other than supportive on here, so it is nice every time someone new comes along and takes an interest. I certainly wallow from time to time, but coming on here really cheers me up. I really landed on this thread rather than any of the others by chance, kept noticing them in Most Active, clicked on one out of curiosity and here I still am.

MC sorry to hear about the jobs, I really feel for you, it must be very frustrating indeed. Have a bit of my , it's very nice.

aren't aware

Swan nice to know it's not just me, I feel as though it's a fine line between supporting DS to help him make the best of his friendships and turning it into some sort of challenge where he has to follow a lot of extra rules. He did well tonight, I watched him play football with his friend and the friend won (DS didn't seem to be trying too hard, which is unusual for him to say the least as he is very competitive). He said to me at bedtime had I noticed how he had let his fried win because he thought his friend would like it, I was so pleased with him. I would like to find some other AS children for him to get to know, I went to a meeting of our local NAS for the first time this week with a view to finding some. Apparenly there are a few at school but they can't tell me who, however it is a small school so I am on the lookout. Glad parents eve went well.

MC it is still early days, The Right Job will come along. Have you thought about being a TA whilst waiting? At dts school there are about three teachers who started as TA's in classroom, and the minute a space came up, they were IN. Pay no attention if this is a silly idea, sorry, as I know you are fully trained and as a teacher not a TA, perhaps they were only TAs because they were not yet trained ifysim....
Or private tutoring, or even SN tutoring? in the meantime?

Tomorrow I have to take ds1 to physio before school so a less early start than normal. Then it is hectic day thereafter what with one appt and another. And dd's Grade I exam this weekend

Making changes- so sorry to hear that you didnt get the job. Very un-mn hug for you and a large glass of vino.

On phone again which I'm crap at posting on so sorry for lack of personals I have read the whole thread though so waves to everyone!!

Toddler group isn't on tomorrow so house tidy for friend to come here instead- the true test of fly lady working!

Be back tomorrow. Goodnight.

Linkies:

Thursday is errand day

missions

oh god its the early bedtime babystep again I always fail at this one. Always.

Darkness I am finding that the football obsession is quite a good social tool for Ds as so many boys love football. However not many can recite the Conference League or Spanish Liga off by heart week in week out. I'm taking DS to see Pompey again next week . Some of his obsessions have been less mainstream though, and you never know how long each one will last.

Oh yes, I have done quite well with Flying this week .