Calling all hoarders out there......why?

[muriel76]

My DH is a bit of a hoarder. Some of his family are the same but particularly his mum, she seems to keep everything. They both like to also display pointless things ie books that will never be/never have been read etc.

Don't get me wrong, it is not a big deal or anything but I do want to understand why. It's hard to understand as my mum is the complete opposite and I am the same. DH and I have agreed to give the house (another!) big clear out and it would help me to hear a hoarder's view!

(Obviously I have talked with him about it many times BTW, I am just looking for other people's more neutral insights)

Thanks for any replies.

• bank not back!

DH asked me to clear the crates of car boot stuff today, saying he thought it unlikely I would do another. He is probably right so I managed to get rid of another 2 bags of clothes and he took all my books to the charity shop where they were turned down! So we still have the books but thngs are slowly going.

Never heard of a charity shop turning down donations

I had a toy day, sorted, chucked and repacked excess toys. Cleared one big box from downstairs and one random basket of toys with no homes IYSWIM. So I now have one box of toys for older two children, with a small crate of toys for the baby downstairs and all the rest of the toys are in their room in appropriate boxes.

That took me all morning (9.30am to 1pm).

Yesterday I took all my DVDs to CEX Shop and got £59 for them, which is £20 more than Magpie offered online, plus I had read some poor reviews about Magpie .

Next jobs. Sort out the ONE random box of stuff in Living Room. Sort out things to go on Ebay in dining room and get rid.

Then I have to start on the clothes mountain (one very big job) and finally the emotional stuff (which I am not looking forward too)

Of course after that I'll have to re-do the drawers and cupboards and keep on top of them regularly, but the house is starting to shine through and my goodness it is getting much easier to keep it tidy :)

We are clearing out the largest bedroom for doing up, and DP has finally thrown out two sackfuls of models he made as a child that are now mostly broken. There's a handful of Star Wars ones to put on Ebay as a job lot but the rest are in the bin (there was an hour of 'see how much a xxx goes for!' 'In excellent condition, 99p on a good day.' 'Oh. Bin.')

On the minus side DP helped SIL move house, so we have acquired a Futon Company sofa to sell, which needs the cover washing first (I was going to insist on selling it as is, but then dn weed on it), and a 4 foot teddy bear which no-one has nicked from the porch yet, which needs to go to a charity shop before ds gets attached to it. And I've just bought a large chest of drawers, which is to put stuff in so a smaller one can go downstairs and store the pile of ds's clothes and then we can get rid of the table there.

I have a long list of stuff to put on Gumtree/Ebay but have been ill so done sod all recently. I may hold off visiting the charity shop until next week as are visiting the ILs this weekend and I know we will end up taking stuff away from them!

I've done nothing for a while :(

Babies, i know what you mean about it being easier to keep tidy once its done. The great thing about all this sorting process is really it only has to be done once, and after that its just a case of keeping on top of it.
I'm plodding through the officey stuff. The focus on the emptiness and clarity makes me want more and i'm realising the 'not having' stuff feeling is actually nicer than the irrational 'must keep' feeling. The latter actually feeling akin to a heavy, loaded down, slow constipation, the former a detoxed cleared out calm feeling.
Yeah!!!! Breakthrough!!!!

The focus on the emptiness and clarity makes me want more and i'm realising the 'not having' stuff feeling is actually nicer than the irrational 'must keep' feeling. The latter actually feeling akin to a heavy, loaded down, slow constipation, the former a detoxed cleared out calm feeling.

Yay, you are winning!

Wow!

I must do more.

Oooo lots of boxes classified into different types. Childrens artwork, school related stuff, misc domestic, misc work, archive financial, leisure time. Now to take each of those boxes and cull a bit more. Gonna do a school years scrapbook for each DD, programmes of school plays, school photos, pieces of work etc.
Armfulls of paper gone in the recyling bin! Ahhh lovely tidying day!

Yeah, Weevils :) Sounds like a good day.

How is everyone doing ?

I have maintained what I have done to date. Not doing bad with the laundry and still have three problem areas to tackle.

1. Get rid/sell several big items
2. Sorted out/chuck/reorganise all the clothes in the house especially mine.
3. Sort out/chuck/reorganise several box of emotional stuff. Babies things etc.

I am at a loss as to what I should do with my clothes. They vary from size 18 to 28. I have just move down into an 20/22 bottom 18/20 top. Should I chuck all my big stuff or pack it up, in case I get bigger again ?

Do I keep smaller stuff as I'm losing weight and see where I stabilise or chuck everything that doesn't fit me at the moment. Which would leave me with about 4 items of clothing !

Chuck everything thats too big! Otherwise its an excuse to put on weight and if you've come down a bit already you surely dont want to go up again! Divide all clothing into categories. Sleeveless tops, t shirts, long sleeve tops, jumpers, cardigans, skirts, etc then keep the favourite ones from each pile. If something is too small decide if its classic and keep, or if its dated then chuck. Divide and conquer!

I've gone a bit stagnant. Waiting for warehouse move, which is when i move my office out of my house too, so kinda waiting for somewhere to put the things i've sorted.

Gotta do another car boot, shame today has been too busy because it would have been perfect weather for it.

Agree, get rid of the big stuff.

I've slowed down a bit. Did a baby sale thing last week (bit like a car boot but inside) and made £50 or so. I came home with a lot of stuff though but I was brave and took a few bags to one of those recycle places and more to a second hand shop. It seems to be important to me that I 'get" something everything? so the hoarding hasn't been so futile?

I've now stalled a bit after all the effort and my bedroom is a horrible disgrace. I can't bear to go in there at the moment. Dp and I have nearly been separating over it all too. He moans and moans at me then makes it worse himself and does not help at all.

Ungrateful, can you box everything in your bedroom up and stick it in the garage or something? Then give the room a clean from top to bottom, or paint and then only put naice stuff back? Horrible to have a messy bedroom.
Well done with the £50! I could really use £50 and the rest! Dentist bill this week and the cars going in the garage tmrw. Grrr!

I got another £20 from the recycling shop too :) 50p a kilo for clothes/linen/etc and 20p for toys etc. Kept the best stuff to do another sale.

Our garage is a nightmare I'm afraid :( The bedroom is worse than its been because I've been sorting stuff, but it makes it difficult to continue as it feels like its only me doing things. I really need some help.

The thread is on 666 replies so bumping it up!!

I find the boxing up method clears the space and then you can take one box at a time. It is so overwhelming isnt it? I'm not sure how i'm gonna actually face my biggest pile. The thought of not having it is like throwing away a security blanket.
Not good at the moment though coz of PMT, but will be back on it in a week or so.

I've stopped still too :( but I am up to date with my actual washing and I'm putting things away as I iron them.

Everywhere is still messy ~ except my fridge which is clean, tidy and gorgeous!!!
Dd's father is probably back in the Uk in a few days, so I really do need to get sorted but it will take so much more time and energy than I have.
I've been having problems with Ds (well, not exactly Ds, but involving him) and it's just lead me to feel depressed.

Oh whores, i know that feeling.
We are supposed to make a do-able list and tick bits off as we go.
What managable tasks would you put on a list?

I have no idea whatsoever! I need to do the seemingly unmanagable tasks, but given any excuse at all, I leave it and go out! I really have to get sorted :(
The only reason my fridge is gorgeous, is that it started to ice up and it was rotten! but no longer! need to do my oven now...yuk! a job I hate doing!

Can you start with one room? I often do the downstairs loo! Which leads me to the utility room. Which at least gives me the feeling that at least one place is sorted.
Can you task yourself with the smallest room in the house?
I hate ovens too, i've had an oven cleaner person do it twice, but cant afford that luxury anymore. (couldnt afford it before, but sometimes you just gotta treat yourself!)
I'll do mine if you do yours!!
Then howabout a third kitchen thing? You'll have fridge, oven AND ? all lovely and gleaming.
And none of this going out you speak of!!

weevilswobble, Thanks. Will start to divide and conquere my clothes. ;) Sorry to hear about your PMT, see you back on the thread soon.

Ungratefulchild, £50 sounds like an ace car boot sale. I am sending you a big {{{Hug}}}, as you have done very well. Be proud of what you have achieved to date. Your bedroom and garage will be decluttered and clear one day but it takes weeks/months/years to get into our cluttery state, it isn't going to be cleaned up over night !

Right bedroom wise, you don't have the space to box up. Do you want help to break down the jobs that need doing into a logical list or a friendly encouragement to spend 5 minutes every day sorting out that room or do you need to think about it, before you feel ready to tackle this area ?

WhoresHairKnickers, Sometimes looking at how far we have come, can help us find our direction in the future ? What about recapping what you have done to date ? How many bags of clothes ? Which areas/rooms/drawers have been sorted. You have posted a lot, a bet you have forgotten just how much you have already done, none of which would of been done if you just went out ;)

If it is any help to people, I am tackling some paperwork on another thread:

thread

Bit worried that everyone seems a bit glum today, you have all made amazing progress since the thread begun.
:)

Please dont ever take anything i say as critisism! Wasnt meaning you mustnt go out whoreshair!
Just trying to help and say encouraging things.
PMT done for another month then, just gotta get over todays tiredness, then onwards and upwards.
Bit embarrassed to say, but got referral for CBT yesterday. How indulgent is that? Gonna get over this OCD thingy hopefully once and for all! Yay.
Apologises for the boxing up theory too. I guess i do that as a head in the sand technique. I just box it up and hide the boxes! Trouble is i now have approx....let me think....about 50 boxes!
Ok, bedtime!

I like your boxing idea. I have billions of bags and boxes all over the house. Time to sort them out now.

I think the therapy sounds like a great idea, we all need a safe sounding board. Isn't this why we post here ? Let us know how you get on :)

With DH's help all my emotional boxes and bags are downstairs on the cleared dining room table...bye table. I have a clear space in our bedroom. I will be tackling this stuff with my DM's help tomorrow.

Think of me, I reckon this will be the hardest stuff to decluttering and then lastly the clothes mountain !