Do you iron your DH's /DP's clothes?

[cabbageroses]

I am having a bit of a revolt at present due to my work changing. Have always worked p/t and from home for much of it, but now I am busier and work around 3.5- 4 days a week, mainly afternoons up to 6.30pm.
I cook from scratch every night, do all the food shopping, cleaning, washing etc .

DH does bin emptying and IT stuff, etc, but that's it except running repairs when needed.

I feel the balance is a bit wrong. I can't afford a cleaner or ironer - well, I could but would rather spend it in other ways- so what is a fair balance?

I was thinking that if he ironed his own shirts and we had a snacky dinner some nights with me eating at lunchtime ( hehas a big meal at work) it would be fairer.

I do the majority of the housework, the cooking, and all of the ironing. At the moment however I don't have a job, so that and me looking after 15mo ds2 is my contribution to the household.

I'm currently looking for work, but as it'll be part time, and as dh works long hours, I can't see it changing tbh. 'Cept in the school holidays, I'll make sure he does his share then.

What you're proposing sounds fine to me op. I'd say tell him that's what's happening though, rather than asking if it's ok.

I only iron his shirts and the kids school stuff - nothing else gets ironed. He does do the main food shop on a Saturday and does the cooking too so I do the other stuff e.g. clothes/dishes washing, hoovering, etc

No I have never ironed his clothes unless he asks me to do him a favour e.g running late home from work and needs to a shirt to go out in. I basically do everything else as am a f/t student but this will change when I go back to work.

DH and I have always done our own washing and ironing; DD's gets done at random by one or other of us. I really REALLY hate ironing and can only just about bear doing it when I'm going to get the benefit of the nice flat clothing, doing it for someone else, who unlike DD is perfectly capable of doing it for himself? Nah.

I do all laundry inc ironing

DP does majority of cooking

I do most of cleaning

DP does all garden/DIY

He works FT I am on Mat leave

So this feels fair to me atm

When I am back at work (PT) housework is more shared (though I still end up always doing laundry)

I do all ironing and most of shopping; DP does most of cooking; neither of us does much cleaninng to be fair.

Dp irons his own shirts. I dont iron anthing at all ever, never have and never will.

All food shopping done on line. I never go to the supermarket ever, never have and never will.

I never cook anything that takes more than 30 minutes from start to finish to prepare and cook.

I do have a cleaner, essential as I dont clean ever, even when the house is minging, it has to wait until the cleaners come.

I'm no slave to domestic duties but there again I am absolutely crap at them.

I used to.
But I'm really bad at it. So I stopped.

I do the of the washing (well, he comes along and interferes sometimes, but that just puts me off my routine) because I like how I do it, and don't like how he does it.

If and when there's ironing I tend to do it (we tend to wear t-shirts so ironing is rare) too - not because he can't or won't but because the circumstances tend to be that I view the ironing as something I do to show him I care - eg. he's going away for a week and needs smart shirts, so if I iron them, then when he takes them out of the suitcase it'll make him smile and think of me.

If it ever became the case that I was expected to do his ironing then there would be words pretty sharpish!

cabbageroses Like you I used to do it all but when I increased my hours at work I told him it wouldn't be fair unless he helped more. DH is generally very supportive so suggested that he took over the ironing.

Now, in all fairness, I have to say we don't have much ironing as we fold stuff well but he does his own shirts and, when DCs were younger and needed school shirts, he did those too.

Not unreasonable to ask him to share the load

No.

Am mostly sahm (work 10 hours a week) but have no interest in ironing.

I might iron him a shirt (mebbe two or three times a year) if he is really up against it and packing to go away at vvv short notice.

I do but am a SAHM.

If I worked the hours you do I would expect a much fairer split of chores.

Heh.. once I was at secondary school and had shirts to iron I was expected to do my own!

Perhaps the kids need to pitch in instead :)

Generally do most stuff around the house but do not iron, if it needs doing DH is the one to do it

It's tricky- half my work is creative which means sitting thinking but I also do other work which is more reliable in money terms. Without "thinking time" I won't increase my creative earnings.

I don't iron much at all- shirts, T shirts and tops and the duvet cover. DCs are grown up and not here much - they do their own washing etc.when they are.

I think I resent never having a "day off"- ifIi am busy during the week with work, then I am catching up on chores at the weekends. Whereas DH does work quite long hours- out from 8-7pm- but at weekends he is very much "him" focused.

he will go to the gym both mornings as a weekend - look around town and then potter when he gets back- often with his bikes etc.

I didn't mind doing it all when the kids were small but now they are not really here, I do not want to be a 1950s housewife!

I suppose I fond it hard to justify not doing it all- if I have at least one more day a week free compared to him should I not be using that for housework and chores?

he seems quite [shock[ ed that I now expect him to do more.

No, if someone wants something ironing they do it themselves ...that includes teenage ds

3.5-4 days and all that other stuff is barely part time. if he needs his shirts ironed, he needs to do it himself or take on some of the other stuff as you have suggested.

or take them to the cleaners. so worth it (we don't have a cleaner any more, but the shirts still go out)

Mil does dh shirts

(by "barely part time" i mean "pretty much full time" in case that wasn't clear)

No I don't. Nor do I do all the cleaning. I work part time and do ALL child related things...imo that adds up to more than full time so he's lucky he's not ironing my panties this minute!

Tbh its the one thing I refuse to do.

I work p/t and do majority of cooking, cleaning, laundry. We share getting the DCs ready in the morning. DH gets them bathed and ready in the night whilst I cook, and I do most of the housework when I am not working, and DH is.

I get up and make the breakfast first thing, whilst DH irons his work clothes, and anything I have that needs ironing. Not much else gets ironed!

I iron the occasional shirt. DP generally doesn't wear smart clothes unless he's got a job interview or something and he's not bothered about anything else being ironed.

He works full time and I work part time (two days a week) so I end up doing the majority of the cooking/cleaning/childcare/shopping. When he is home he more than pulls his weight- cooking dinner, washing dishes, tidying up, looking after DS etc. Plus if there's any DIY to be done that's his area of expertise. He's an acedemic as well so spends much of his spare time outside of his day job researching, writing papers etc.

I think when it comes to the division of household labour you have to both be working to your strengths, and if something is only for your benefit (eg. ironing your clothes, making sandwiches to take to work) then it should be your responsibility.

Yes I do, but in my defence a) I don't mind ironing if I can listen to R4 and b) he takes too bloody long at it. Seasons change and he's still on the first sleeve. It drives me insane.

But you work longer hours than I do and yes, he needs to be picking up some slack. I totally get that never having a day off feeling (I had a hissy fit to DH earlier today on that very subject).

Could you show him this thread?

Have you watched any of 'who Does What' on BBC2 lately? Such an interesting programme! (Try iPlayer.) It goes into exactly this. Even with couples who think things are divided evenly, they rarely are.

I don't do any ironing. It's against my religion. I get it out of the tumbler as fast as possible while it's still warm and fold it. Nearly always works!

One option is to save all housework for a weekend morning, and then divide it between you to be done at the same time. I know it's rubbish in a way (we all want a weekend off) but otherwise you'll probably end up doing it all yourself in dribs and drabs, and getting utterly resentful. If he says no to this, then ask him to make suggestions. If he won't, then just don't do any of it except your own stuff. He'll soon want to discuss it.. he's barely doing anything at the moment.

Nope. If the iron comes out in this house it is DH who does it. Christ only knows what happens when the DC's have school uniforms which need ironing