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Housekeeping

Find cleaning advice from other Mumsnetters on our Housekeeping forum.

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Original poster

Do you iron your DH's /DP's clothes?

58 replies

cabbageroses · 06/02/2011 19:51

I am having a bit of a revolt at present due to my work changing. Have always worked p/t and from home for much of it, but now I am busier and work around 3.5- 4 days a week, mainly afternoons up to 6.30pm.
I cook from scratch every night, do all the food shopping, cleaning, washing etc .

DH does bin emptying and IT stuff, etc, but that's it except running repairs when needed.

I feel the balance is a bit wrong. I can't afford a cleaner or ironer - well, I could but would rather spend it in other ways- so what is a fair balance?

I was thinking that if he ironed his own shirts and we had a snacky dinner some nights with me eating at lunchtime ( hehas a big meal at work) it would be fairer.

OP posts:

schroeder · 06/02/2011 20:33

DH does his own and the dcs ironing, he used to do mine too, but I could wait for ever for anything even slightly fiddly to come out of the basketso now (in theory) I do it myself.

ByTheSea · 06/02/2011 20:34

DH does all the ironing here (for him, me and DC x 4). I told him when I married him that I don't iron.

AtLongLast · 06/02/2011 20:35

The only thing to be ironed here are dp's work clothes. He doesn't expect me to iron them (just as well!) but I will if I remember / have time. It's certainly less painful to spend 10mins doing a week's-worth myself than to listen to the iron hissing at 5am as he takes 10mins to iron his shirt for the day in our room (so not to wake the dcs).

PatTheHammer · 06/02/2011 20:37

Why the flipping flip would anyone iron anything for anybody that wasn't their own child???

Sorry to everyone that does, I loathe it so much I can barely bring myself to do my own and DD's school uniform.

Dh has always done his, he wants to wear it, he irons it.

I do most of the washing, cooking, shopping and we share the cleaning (meaning I pretty much do it and he hoovers a bit and clears up after dinner sometimes). He takes the bins out mostly, although also do it some weeks. He cooks on sundays.

Btw OP I also work 3.5 days a week. It isn't really part-time once you factor in picking up kids etc. e.g on wednesdays I don't get home till 1.45pm after collecting DS from nursery. then school run at 3pm.............great half day huh!

upahill · 06/02/2011 20:38

We had a routine that DH did the bulk of the ironing on Sunday night - uniforms ironed, his stuff done and anything I needed but I have been off work for a while so I have done it as we go along.

It's no big deal, we both get stuff in the machine, drier and ironed. Who ever is around does it although he does tend to do his own trousers.

toddlerama · 06/02/2011 20:39

I don't work and do everything else, but I don't officially iron DH's clothes. I just feel like I need to draw the line somewhere. However, I do often do it when he's away and therefore he's always grateful when I do! Result!

fairtradefloozy · 06/02/2011 20:39

Either of us will do the laundry and hang it out but we each do our own ironing.

gruber · 06/02/2011 20:41

Yes. Everything apart from socks and pants (which don't get ironed.) we don't have a tumble dryer so most stuff, especially his thick polo shirts, end up wrinkled even with the best hanging.

I do all laundry, both our ironing, dishwasher and clean the house. He does the shopping, the cooking and repairs. We share hanging out/getting in washing - down 2 flights of stairs so quite a chore. Cleaning out the pet- take turns. He works more days but fewer hours. I couldn't bear the thought of anyone else cleaning the house so I do it on my day off. Weekends are us time.

TrillianAstra · 06/02/2011 20:42

If I were doing ironing, I would iron everything that needed it.

We don't actually iron though, so the answer is no.

Pictish · 06/02/2011 20:43

Well I don't iron anything, so no. If he wants a shirt doing he knows where the iron is gathering dust.

Ragwort · 06/02/2011 20:44

I do the ironing (badly) as a SAHM with a school age child it really doesn't bother me, doesn't take more than 20 minutes a couple of times a week - leaves plenty of time for mumsnetting important stuff.

Ragwort · 06/02/2011 20:44

PS: I always pour myself a large glass of wine when ironing - that helps .

potplant · 06/02/2011 20:45

Don't iron anything (except name tags in scoolnuniforms). I stopped about a year ago when I realised that I don't give a shit if my day to day clothes are ironed or not. Prior to that I would spend 2 hours every Sunday night doing it.

DH doesn't like it much but not enough to actually get the iron
Out.

Buy non iron shirts, hang them up straight out of the wash. Perfectly wearable.

rathlin · 06/02/2011 20:47

No, never have done. He washes, dries and irons his own clothes. I have enough to do sorting out my own and DS's. As I see it: "he wears the clothes, he should wash them". Maybe if I didn't work, I might do it but until that day comes - I live by my motto. I only iron on a need to wear basis anyway. Gone are the days of standing with a big pile of ironing.

TrillianAstra · 06/02/2011 20:54

I don't really see why ironing is different to any other household task.

If I wash up, am I washing DP's plates?

If I take out the bins, am I taking out his rubbish?

If I mop the floor, am I cleaning up his dirt?

Technically yes for all of these. I don't see the need to divide it up and have the same task performed by two separate people. Once you are putting a wash on or hanging out clothes or you have the ironing board out you might as well get on with it, and the other person can do another chore.

Original poster

cabbageroses · 06/02/2011 20:59

I think it is a situation that has gradually evolved. For years I was at home and working just 4 half days- so 2 days a week- and he was travelling the world with work, so my job was the DCs, all housework and his shirts laundered for work.

I resent it as before I got married ( age 29) I had my own career and no DCs until my 30s.

I think I would be less resentful if he could cook but he can't and won't learn. Ironic as his dad was a chef.

he says that he does all the DIY and is "handy" which saves us a fortune,( paintwork outside and in- but harldy ever- he hates decorating and the whole house needs doing) and grass cutting. He had the nerve to say that without his work I wouldn't have this house- nice 4 bed house, 2 bathrooms - not special but we live SE so prices are high.

He seems shocked that I have s uddenly decided I do not want this any more.

OP posts:

MappandLucia · 06/02/2011 21:06

My dh does all the cooking, most of the shopping, all gardening, all diy & decorating, all bedtimes and 90% of ironing.

I work 15 hours per week.

Hulababy · 06/02/2011 21:08

Rarely. DH does all our ironing generally.

missmehalia · 06/02/2011 21:12

If it's a man's world, let him clean it.

PatTheHammer · 06/02/2011 21:21

Trillian- Its not quite all 'tit-for-tat' like that in most relationships. There are chores that some people cannot stand and the other partner finds less odious. So DH doesn't mind doing his own ironing as he knows it would really rile me to have to do it. He quite often offers to do my clothes if he has the board out.

DH really doesn't like cooking, unless its a roast, and detests the shopping. I detest ironing but enjoy cooking and shopping.

Bath and bedtimes with the DC's are shared mostly as we both enjoy that.

I think things do 'evolve' like cabbageroses says. And if you are lucky enough to live with someone who accepts that they are another adult (unlike some of my friend's DPs) in the house then it makes for an easier life all round.

upahill · 06/02/2011 21:23

I really don't get this 'my job, his job' malarky.

Whatever needs doing from shopping, to helping the kids with homework, cooking the tea, mopping the floor, ironing etc gets done by both of us.

'If everyone does something no one does everything' is the motto in our house.

Original poster

cabbageroses · 06/02/2011 22:03

upahill- the point though is that my Dh would never see what needed doing- the house would be filthy. He has no idea what gets done/needs doing except obvious things like dishes( he does stack the dishwasher most days as part of hi new contribution).

This weekend, I have cleaned 4 sets of windows, cleaned our bathroom top to bottom, stripped bed and done about 3 loads of washing- inc all of his undies , shirts etc.

In addition I have cleaned kitchen floor , hall floor, hoovered our bedroom and dusted it, hoovered stairs.
Plus usual kitchen stuff.

I have also spent about an hour or two on work-work IYSWIM.

Is this fair? he has been out for 2 mornings, spent a lot of time in garage tinkering with bikes, BUT he has also fixed a new pc for us which has taken a few hours.

OP posts:

bessie26 · 06/02/2011 22:06

DH & I do our own ironing. We only ever iron work shirts, so there's not too much for either of us to do, but we both hate it.

Someone said earlier in the thread about their DH taking so long to iron it was painful to watch? My old lodger told me he used to do that to get girlfriends to do his ironing for him! (yes, it worked)

upahill · 06/02/2011 22:09

I understand what you are saying cabbageroses.
I would hate to have a partner who couldn't see filth or tidy up etc.

It's only recently I've 'had' to do any ironing and like I said it was only because I've been off work so I have had the time and inclination to do it.

FunnysInTheGarden · 06/02/2011 22:11

Get a cleaner and share the ironing/washing

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