Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Homework corner

Find homework help from other Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

Hackles raised by note in dd's homework diary.

53 replies

conistonoldwoman · 06/10/2012 23:15

my year 3 DD has never been easily compliant in the homework department. Apart from encouraging her to read at home I am an anti homework parent , especially for primary age. She also has the obligatory spellings to learn. She'll pay them a token visit and will probably get half of them right in here test. She didn't do too well last week so teacher has written a note saying she is concerned with her approach to homework and she will be tested again on the words. She had asked my DD if she found her hw difficult but DD replied no , she just preferred to play. Teacher said that we could talk about hw issues at parents evening. As I don't agree with hw , especially the death by worksheet stuff that comes home, I can't really see how
I can help .
Also don't know if I should force DD to work on spellings . Maybe bribery will be help. Don't want her to suffer for my principles.

OP posts:
McPhee · 06/10/2012 23:18

Do you want her to learn?

Do you want her to have a passion for learning?

Do you want her to take/follow instruction?

queenofthepirates · 06/10/2012 23:19

I'm not sure I fully understand-can you explain why you're anti-homework?

Whitecherry · 06/10/2012 23:22

Your principles are your own problem, nothing to do with your dd.

Floralnomad · 06/10/2012 23:23

Surely the bottom line here is if you send your DC to a school where HW is given then you have a responsibility to do it . Have you not signed one of those school/ parent/ child contracts that schools hand out nowadays . TBH it really wouldn't take too much time to practice some spellings , we used to do them on school run at that age .

EverybodysSpookyEyed · 06/10/2012 23:23

Spellings don't take long.

Come home, have a snack, practise spellings for 5-10 mins then off to play

Original poster
conistonoldwoman · 06/10/2012 23:25

I refer you to posters on the please let's get rid of homework thread, about 7 below mine. I belong in that camp!

OP posts:
ExitPursuedByAaaaaarGhoul · 06/10/2012 23:27

Why would you not want her to learn how to spell?

gallicgirl · 06/10/2012 23:28

Homework reinforces what the child has learned at school. Repetition is needed to ensure something has been learned properly.
Homework also helps the teacher to make sure every child has grasped a concept before moving onto the next item. It also makes it easier for the teacher to spot pupils who need extra support.

I don't see why you wouldn't want your child to do homework.

MaryMotherOfCheeses · 06/10/2012 23:29

Well your daughter's school doesn't belong to that camp.

So you're going to say she does one thing and her school is going to say she does something else.

It's going to end up very confusing for her.

Funnylittleturkishdelight · 06/10/2012 23:29

Do you read with her? Write stories with her? Could you incorporate the spellings into play?

purplehouse · 06/10/2012 23:31

I think that YABU.

Your attitude towards homework being given or not given is irrelevant. The fact is that you need to work with her current teacher - in partnership, not in conflict! My eldest is y2 and youngest yR and I always make sure both dc do exactly what the teacher has asked for, regardless of whether I consider it appropriate or not. I think you are showing your dd that it's ok to disrespect the teacher.

Why ever would you not help your dd learn her spellings? In time she may be upset or embarrassed about getting lots of them wrong. I do the school spellings every week day with ds. It takes one minute and he always gets them all correct despite not being anywhere near the top of the class in general. he is justifyably proud of himself for this.

I think you should change your attitude towards the teacher. She must be furious with you.

EverybodysSpookyEyed · 06/10/2012 23:31

I know a few schools that do all homework in school time (they set aside the last 45 mins of each day).

maybe if you have strong principles it would be worth considering a move for her?

Floralnomad · 06/10/2012 23:32

I also belong in that camp which is why my DD no longer goes to school. You can't have it both ways , if you don't like it either find a school that doesn't give HW (if such a place exists ) or home educate .

picnicbasketcase · 06/10/2012 23:32

I don't think homework always backs up what they've learned at school. My DS's homework is usually some random crap that I end up doing. I hate homework being given to primary age children. They might as well just hand it straight to the patents and tell them to get it done.

Wolfiefan · 06/10/2012 23:34

Agree with purple and gallic.
Her test. Not here.

Casmama · 06/10/2012 23:40

If it was a principle of yours then you would have approached the school and discussed it with them. It seems like you are making excuses for being lazy and not helping your dd and letting her not do her homework. Make an effort.

defineme · 06/10/2012 23:42

I think 'forcing' is a bit strong. Can't you just make it fun? I put each word on an a4 sheet and draw a funny picture to go with it usually with dd in it-she now does the drawings because she thinks it's funny and we stick them around the house.
DD loves salty peanuts and isn't keen on reading so we do 'peanut reading' -5 minutes on a timer=10 peanuts.
Timestables are fundamental to maths and need to be learnt by rote. We play times tables cd in car/at home

As for the worksheets-just get ebverything out ready and get it over with asap-we do it in pyjamas on saturday mornig to get it out the way.

SavoyCabbage · 06/10/2012 23:47

You should have gone to a different school. You are setting her up for a difficult time at school.

My very dear friend is against housework. Really, not funnily. She does not think people should spend their lives doing things that are 'drudgery'. So her son has nowhere to sleep as his bed is under a pile of stuff and he has a McDonald's every night. Every night.

deleted203 · 06/10/2012 23:56

I'm anti homework at primary too I'm afraid. Seriously - do any of you lot remember having to do HW aged 5 - 11? Cos I didn't. Neither did we get anywhere near the amount of homework at secondary school that my older ones brought home. And I still managed to get a First Class Honours Degree. I want my primary aged children to enjoy their childhood, not spend time after school doing more schoolwork. I might chant times tables in car (or spellings) but I'm certainly not going to make a Y2 child sit and fill in a worksheet after school or at weekends. My DS wants to run around and play after having to sit still all day and work at school. He doesn't want to do even more learning.

steppemum · 07/10/2012 00:23

I totally agree with you about hw, most of the worksheets that come home are a waste of space (and I say that as a teacher)

But for me the exceptions are reading, spelling and times tables, which need repetition and can best be done one on one for a few minutes each day at home. I firmly believe that as a teacher. As a parent of 3 I hate all homework!

But there is an issue here of how you are representing the school to your dd, amnd how you are teaching her she doesn't have to listen to her teacher.

I have been known to say to my dcs. Yes this worksheet is easy, but homework is part of school life and I expect you to do it. My ds kicks off about it too.

I am wondering where and how you think she will learn to spell, if she isn't doing the work of learning to spell? Mine hate doing spelling at home. The deal is that if they get 10/10 then they don't have to learn them at home (they do practise them at school too, so if they work hard at school, they don't need to bring it home). My dd has this week been made to do hers at home as she got 6/10 last week and the week before, so now she has to do them at home. ds gets them all right, his choice to focus at school so he doesn't need extra practise.

Jinsei · 07/10/2012 00:51

I don't agree with homework for primary schoolchildren, but I accept that dd has homework set by her teacher and she therefore needs to do it. If I felt strongly enough, I'd have a private word with the teacher about it, but I don't think it's reasonable just not to do it. It doesn't send the right message to your dd at all.

Devora · 07/10/2012 01:08

I'm unconvinced by primary school homework, but our job is to make life easier for our kids at school, not harder.

piprabbit · 07/10/2012 01:17

How does your DD feel when she struggles with her spellings in class?
Children are often very aware of the sort of marks their peers are gettings (especially if the class are marking each other's tests as happens in my DDs school).
It is one thing wanting to skip HW and play at home, it is quite another having to deal the consequences of that choice in class.

OpheliasWeepingWillow · 07/10/2012 05:15

You are singling her out amongst her peers as she will fall behind.

You are not supporting her education.

You are giving her horribly confusing messages about authority.

And all because you don't agree with homework?

I can only respect such hard headed opposition to logic.

nooka · 07/10/2012 05:42

It's highly unlikely to make her dd fall behind though. There is no great evidence that homework for primary age children makes any difference at all, not even learning spellings. Particularly as most spellings lists (at least those we've experienced) are arbitrary. We only once had a teacher that used a scheme so that it was word patterns being learned rather than words you might possibly encounter this week type lists.