Please share your thoughts.

[athomeagain]

I don't know what to do .

We have always wanted to home educate our dd who is now just over four.OH thought as we are not getting out and about much (in relation to what we percive other people do) as I don't drive and he works long hours( We tend to go out as a family) we should apply for a good local school too as back up.

We have now got this place and the paper work has started coming in and already we feel restricted.

I am quite shy and we have got in to the habit of doing two classes a week and always have and dd has one friend that we see at home every few weeks but that is it.

lots of home ed groups seem to far or to early we don't seem to surface before 9am.

How did you all decide to stick to your guns. how long will a school keep the place open for while we decide?

My head is all a muddle as we cannot seem to make a firm decision.

We have read loads of things on both sides and see pros and cons in both!!!!!!!!!!

i do not drive and husband works long hours on the road, we are considering home ed, after checking out schools and making choices for our dd who is 4 and due to start school sept.
we were refused our first choice of school as its a very good school and oversubscribed, the school they offered us is a terrible school in my opinion, doesn't get good results etc.

i also like to take her on hols in term time partly as its less crowded and also much cheaper we can have 3/4 hols instead of one main one.

i am worried about the social side of things for her with regards to home ed as i don't drive and she has only got the neighbours children to play with. i also wonder if it will be any good for her as she is becoming very naughty, she is ignoring me, she can behave like a monster when we go out sometimes and she can be aggressive when she is in a mood.

any suggestions.

lETS HOPE SOMEONE ELSE COMES ALONG!

What is your routine like at the moment?

I'd suggest joining the Early Years HE email support list for families who are home educating or interested in home educating young children.

Loads of people there will have been in exactly the place you are right now and will be able to support you and offer suggestions.

Julie how did you make your decision

athomeagain-routine, whats that. it has all gone out the window lately. i have problems getting her ready in the mornings, we use workbooks from a company called schofield and sims online, they have books that they use in nurseries etc.

She loves being outside so when the weather is nice she is in the garden most of the time, she has all the usual garden toys, bike, scooter, trampoline, slide etc.

she can write her name, count and she now wants me to teach her to read, my mum says she should be able to do this already but i have always let her tell me when she is interested in something.

My husband was listening to radio 2 the other day whilst on the road and he said its a proven fact that european schools start at age 7 and their results are far better that english schools where children start at 4 or 5.

What sort of routine do you have, whereabouts are you, we are in northants.

Hi Pinkkoala-
We get up have breakfast DD pours her own juice cereal etc (about 9-9.30).
She looks at books after breafast while i clear up .
She then does her bathroom routine and gets dressed on her own (I help with hair).

We usualy do writing drawing etc.
Have lunch and go out for a walk,to shops,park, museum or if OH is home to a harbour,zoo etc

Then back for tea or a packed tea out due to severe allergies.

once a week a french class and a drama acting class.DD has one friend that we see at home every few weeks.

We like to go for evening walks as she is very interested in the moon Bed ends up about 8-8.30.

SO a very loose routine,also lots of detailed drawing ,story reading telling etc

we are in the south west

funny you say about the moon, my dd has always been interested in the moon, i wonder why they like the moon.

you are far more organised than me.

we are up at 6.30am as thats when husband gets up for work, so she has her breakfast about 7ish, then whilst i clear up she watches cbeebies or plays with her toys, whilst i then get ready and clean bathroom she is normally upstairs playing in my room with her dolls, she then gets me to help her get dressed.

some days she will come to me to do her workbooks before i think she is ready.

she loves arty crafty stuff and i get a lot of kits from early learning centre, also tesco.

when husband does have day off we make the most of it and take her out to the zoo, parks, gullivers land, feed the ducks etc.

i would love to get her into a dance/drama class but haven't had any luck finding one with vacancies or that will take her at 4yrs.

she is normally aslepp between 6.30 and 7ish most nights.

we normally take our hols in the south west especially cornwall/devon i have always gone every year since i was a child, i now take our dd.

Do you find your dd gets poorly as much as schooled children, our dd used to go to nursery and was constantly ill but am wondering if its the same with home schooled children.

sounds fine to me!
Getting poorly no not at all she never seems ill.

But then she never has been to nursery.

She has always been at home.

I am still confused as to how to move on though.

we are going to decline her place at the school they have offered us and wait and see what happens, if we hear from the LEA.

we aren't sure if we need to de register her from the school by a formal letter.

we may decide to send her in a couple of years time.

I am worried about the LEA coming round and making the choice for me in so far as them saying we aren't able to home ed, i have no teaching qualifications, only usual GCSE and working for a credit card company for 13yrs.

Do you have good and bad days with your dd, or is it always good. We have more good than bad days and am concerned that when she is having a bad day that home ed won't work.

we were told on the 1st april what school the LEA had given us and had to return the form by the 1st may so that only gave us a month, i'm not sure if they hold her place any longer after that or they give it to the next person on the waiting list.

have to go now will reply soon.but yes bad and good days

I had more or less decided to home ed ds but I applied for school just in case and in that time did things I would've done if I was home educating and it was great, so I declined the place he was offered.

I would say that the fact the home ed groups meet early near you isn't relevant because if you chose school you wouldn't have any kind of choice about what time you were out of the house for 5 days a week, 39 weeks a year!

At the time it felt like the decision was massive and as a parent I was ultimately concerned with what was Right for my child and worried about getting things wrong and messing up his life. That was my main concern because in the end I knew home educating was right for our life and his education. He has only just turned 5 but I feel more right than ever about the decision.

'Julie how did you make your decision'?

My son said he didn't want to live any more, he was so unhappy in school.

I googled frantically and found the Education Otherwise website on that Friday night and knew I had found the answer.
Showed hubby and we talked about it over the weekend and asked the children what they thought on Sunday (my daughters were also very unhappy in school as well)

The deregistration letter went in the nect day!

Never looked back.
Not one moments regret.

TBH I am often quite jealous of folks just starting out on the HE path. We have had such a good time, I wouldn't mind doing it all over again!

I have such the same problem dd is due to start school in September I applied for schools, actually got my 1st choice I have to either accept or decline the letter by 24th April and I think I will decline, I have joined education otherwise and done so much reading on home ed I know it is right for my dd, however I had problems today with HV trying to convince me school school was the only way, my parents are putting up an arguement, my dd has delayed speech and the speech therapist is saying she will suffer if she doesn't mix with other children the same age. I know I know my DD better than anyone else and I know what is right, but is hard because it is going against the norm and a lot of people don't like that, I guess.

are you on the local HE email list? I've found that a good way of getting to know people - offering to meet up at various places.

Google your town/city and Home Education and trhere'll probably be a web page!

i had the same with my hv, but i found to listen to her and then say i hear what your saying but this is what is happening was the best approach, they do try to scare you because you are stepping out of the 'box'!

we have 2 groups which we go to which are about a 40 minute drive away, but the reward is seeing their happiness and joy it is well worth the drive!

the local HE email groups are a great way to meet others and education otherwise may be able to help.

5 days a week, 39 weeks a year!NO choice over when to take holidays,testing etc all that we don't want but i we are scared of making the wrong move.
If we wait until dd is older we will have no choice over a school.

how do we decide????????????

Go with your gut feeling - you can always apply for a school place later on if you change your mind. UK law says kids should start school the term after they turn 5, and if your child's never been enrolled in state education they might not come knocking - ever! - if not for a while - you'll just be off the radar.

I started school 'early' aged 6 1/2 in Scandinavia and even had to sit a 'maturity test' to be allowed the privilege. In retrospect I think I would have benefited from an even later start, aged 7 1/2. I had a couple of friends in the neighbourhood that I saw once in a while, and loved spending the majority of my time drawing and feeding the ducks with my grandma. This did me no damage whatsoever (I think anyway) - I've since gained several academic qualifactions, and am a fairly rounded human being. I also feel passionately that children should be allowed to learn freely for as long as possible, and that the social environment of schools might be counterproductive for some kids - too much, too soon - extremely overwhelming leaving them unable to cope emotionally or fit in.

There really is NO hurry - you just need to be confident in yourself and your own instincts and knowledge of your child. We've got an outstanding (according to Ofsted) primary school down the road but there's no way I'm applying to send my boys there anytime soon. They're 4 and into space rockets and ice cream and everything in between and so not ready for mainstream education. One day, maybe - but we're not in a hurry.

We were in the same position this time last year and I remember how enormous the decision felt! But I also remember feeling very relieved when I put that form back in the post declining the place, because I knew that was really what I felt was best for ds.
And one year on I don't regret not sending him to school. I agree with what Motherofinvention said about young children learning freely - it's certainly what I want for my ds and what he's getting, he's learning loads but in his own way and in his own time. (Last night I decided to write down a list of everything he'd learned over the last few months, partly in case we are asked by the LEA but also for my own interest/reassurance (ex-teacher, I can't help it!) and I just kept thinking of more things we'd done and he'd learned without us having any structure at all.)
I really think he would have been overwhelmed and exhausted by school at 4 and a bit, and still would be now. As it is he's happy and relaxed and confident - and sociable!
Good luck to those of you who are making the decision now - and please try to remember YOU as parents know your child the best and probably also know a lot more about HE than the people who might be giving out the advice.

ds got a place at the "best" school (Ofsted and sats results) in this area. Knowing what I know now if I chose to send him to school I certainly wouldn't send him to that one. To be the "best" it is very focused and narrow, and uses humiliation (the naughty chair at the front of the class) as a way to control behaviour.

Not that I would send a child to school now because I don't buy into the whole schooling system. I listened to this interesting lecture online the other day, I think it was some business thing or other, and the guy said that schools create workers not creative people. I ended up thinking about a lot of these threads on mumsnet where it's all about children having to keep to times, having to do work during time off, having to do work outside of school hours, having no holidays outside proscribed holiday time, so that they're "trained" to do this when they're older. So the grind starts at 4 and never stops. And I say grind because there never seems to be any thought that a child could possibly end up in a job they love and turn up on time and do all the work they have to because they love their job. And not that mythical dream job, but just doing whatever they do with joy because they've chosen it and because work doesn't always have to be Work.

I can't be bothered putting in a disclaimer that not all schooled children end up x, y, z, blahblah.

The really tragic thing is that many teachers agree that 4 and 5 is too early to start school, but the government just isn't interested Call to start school at age six

If HE is your gut instinct follow it. Don't even weight up the pros and cons, just go for it. If we'd weighed up and thought about it way back we would still be dealing with our DDs crying and fussing over having to go in. Now the most fuss we get is arguing over washing up
We thought (second time around) that we'd found an ideal school for the older two. Small, clean, friendly, not too underachieving (given the other schools in the area) and how wrong we were. They did a year and then we deregistered again.
When they want to run and play they do, when they want to read and write they do. And they are happy. Happy is good.
It isnt all a bed of roses, we have bad days too but these are far outweighed by the good days.
And I am shy, I don't drive (I can but don't) and we dont go out all the time. We belong to a HE group but have not yet been to a meeting. We work from home and money is very very tight but we dont take fancy holidays, we don't have a posh car, we dont have up to the minute this that and the other.
School is rather overrated I think, and I believe if more parents knew that HE was a viable option, it would be more widely followed.
Go with your gut and good luck!

can you really not get to local grouos or even meet up with some local HErs?

I would not be without my HEing friends! God, the difference they have made. It is really worth a bit, even a lot, of an effort to try to make some.

If you can't get yourself to groups, if you find your local HE yahoo list (there will be one!) and post that you want to meet other families but don't have transport, people are generally very kind and will sort something out!

Also, you mention you go to the zoo and so forth: there are probably HE trips being organised to things like the zoo-and they will possibly have negotiated a discount, or classes, or something!

Oh and don't worry that 4 is too young, we have lots of 2, 3 and 4 yos in our group, and most welcome they are too!

Totally agree with fillyjonk. Our HE group welcomes children of all ages, and we have a lot of toddlers there. Youngest oldest child (IYSWIM) started coming when she was 20m - our group is strongly about the social side - a chance for the children to play with lots of othe rchildren, make ltos of friends, and also for the parents to get the support they need and to make their own friends too.

we have a really small house and i am also worried about getting frustrated at being with dd all the time with no break.anyone else feel like this ?