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Home ed

Find advice from other parents on our Homeschool forum. You may also find our round up of the best online learning resources useful.

Original poster

my daughter wants to go to school

153 replies

powpow · 14/08/2008 15:44

she will be 7 soon and keeps insisting that she wants to go to school. she went to nursery for a year and still talks about all the time.

i swing back and forth with it.
i truly love home education and what it can offer your child and their future.
but at the moment, i also feel like she isn't getting what she needs.
she's incredibly organized and needs a structured day and unfortunately i am terrible at giving it to her.

she also has a little brother that she really cannot stand at the moment.
they are constantly fighting and he is always following her.
it has recently become physical with them, which is another challenge i wasn't prepared for.

i'm worn out and not sure if i can keep it up.
sometimes i think school will be great for her (maybe for me?) even though i know it isn't ultimately what i want for her.

anyway, i was wondering if anyone else has had these problems.
what did you do?

OP posts:
juuule · 15/08/2008 10:51

Powpow Very well put.

Swedes -

Abbeya - "Wouldn't we all love to go to museums, the beach etc when they are quiet!!! "
So, why would powpow give up the opportunity to do just that?

Jimjams Good for you but would you still do it if you thought it wasn't in your child's best interest?

Original poster
powpow · 15/08/2008 10:58

juule said
powpow sounds as though she is going through a tiring stage of parenting. It might be temporary.
While it's possible she might be worried that her dd would take to school like a duck to water, I think it's quite likely that she is worried that she is seeing school as a break for her and is worried that this is clouding her perception of whether school would be best for her dd or not.
Which is possibly why she is looking for someone else who has been in the same situation to see what they did to resolve the uncertainty.

YES!!!
this is it juule.

OP posts:
gagarin · 15/08/2008 11:01

"i find it interesting that so many schooling parents aren't being honest in the same way."

What does that mean ?

My dcs have had problems at school at times. But nothing they couldn't handle. They have never said they wish they could be home educated despite knowing several HE families.

IMO HE paretns find it hard to believe there are lovely schools that our children thrive in. But equally non-HE paretns need to realise that HE is a valid choice for a child.

No point in trying to convert people one way or the other!

So I would just say if you want to keep your dd at home then do so - whatever she wants. You think it's in her best interests.

chapstickchick · 15/08/2008 11:01

By jimjamshaslefttheyurt on Fri 15-Aug-08 10:21:03
MOst LSA's providing 1:1 work in mainstream school have no qualifications

she was working there under the assumption she had nvq 2 the head never checked and she was offering personal care!!

juuule · 15/08/2008 11:06

Thought it might be
I've been there. And school becomes very tempting just for the break and then it starts to mess with your head especially when you are surrounded by people telling you of all the fantastic things your child is missing out on by not going to school. It adds to the wearing down of your original reasons to home-ed and you feel drawn to believe the school hype.

If I were you I wouldn't be too hasty and would wait until the home-ed activities start up again and look at it again.

Original poster
powpow · 15/08/2008 11:08

gagarin
it means that every post on here from schooling parents are making their schools out to look like a daycamp. everything is perfect. schools don't follow the NC, etc. etc. no one has mentioned any problems they might experience in school such as bullying, lack of motivation, behavioral problems, homework (which for a 5 year old is a problem IMO).
i cannot believe that these things have not been experienced.
"No point in trying to convert people one way or the other!"
i agree with you! I asked for advice from those who had experience with my problem, and I feel like I am opening my door to a stranger with a bible, iyswim.

OP posts:
Original poster
powpow · 15/08/2008 11:11

juuule - thanks

i must leave the thread now and brave the school hols farm visit LOL!

OP posts:
juuule · 15/08/2008 11:12

Powpow - Enjoy your day

gagarin · 15/08/2008 11:14

I know - it's a right laugh when people become so evangelical over an issue.

Best stick to advice from other HE folk which is what you tried to do - but you got ambushed!

Btw - do HE families have holidays from school? I sort of imagine they don't as education would be embedded in every days activities? And school holidays are an artificial contruct from the days when inner city families headed into the countryside to pick hops (or at least that's what I leanrt at school (ducks ).

juuule · 15/08/2008 11:16

"do HE families have holidays from school?"

Errm How would they? - they don't go to school

gagarin · 15/08/2008 11:20

from school WORK...you know - six weeks of no topic based discussions/no maths embedded in everyday life. Esp at GCSE level. Was just wondering!

AMumInScotland · 15/08/2008 11:23

Not all HE is autonomous, so those of us that have a more structured approach may well have holidays from our usual routine. Obviously the children will still be "learning things" in the holidays, same as school children do, but it can still be a break from the usual patterns!

morningpaper · 15/08/2008 11:28

it means that every post on here from schooling parents are making their schools out to look like a daycamp.

Jeeez have you been to a daycamp? They are well rough. DD returns home with all sorts of injuries caused by rampant neglect. School is far lovelier.

Look, the people answering your question are telling you the positives about school, because the ideas you mentioned are a cliche of bad school horror stories. I would imagine that MANY if not MOST parents/children DO go through school without facing many major awful difficulties such as bullying and lack of motivation. My DD has only been at school for one year and it has been nothing like I imagined it would be. My ideas were pretty much like yours, and formed from my own experience of primary schooling 20 years ago. I am pleasantly shocked by the high standards of the school she has gone to. If that is not helpful knowledge for you, then I'm very sorry, but I think that your negative ideas about school need to be challenged.

If you have ideological reasons for being "anti-school" then that is great, but what's coming across for me is that you have a FALSE idea of what school is like. Ideological reasons are one thing, and cliches (or the belief that minority experiences are statistically normal) are another.

morningpaper · 15/08/2008 11:30

my own experience of primary schooling 20 years ago

I think that should say 30 years ago...

juuule · 15/08/2008 11:32

MP Powpow did say
"i got that idea by visiting schools, talking to teachers"
as well as from the HE community.

So I presume that the info she has is current and not 20yo.
Maybe schools in your area are different.

sarah293 · 15/08/2008 11:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Swedes · 15/08/2008 11:34

Sorry, I didn't mean it to come across so curtly!

DartmoorMama · 15/08/2008 11:34

Why not try flexischooling? We are home educators too and would be having similar feelings. it is hard for a child to make a decision on whether school is right for them based on memories of nursery, especially at 7, but maybe a flexi school arrangement would be be an option. You would need to contact schools and see if they do the. Obviously most parents decisions to send their kids to school are imposed on their children. So to a point I think at this age you can make a decision to home-ed if you really do think its the best thing in the long run.

It could also be worth looking into small schools or alternative education, I know that where I live some parents run a small school 2 days a week for home ed children to attend. Some of these are more successful than others but could be an option, I know that I too would be worried about a child entering mainstream schools. Human scale education might provide some links.

jimjamshaslefttheyurt · 15/08/2008 11:37

One of ds2's pieces of homework last year (when he was still 5) was to take part in the RSPB bird spotting garden bird count. He loved it. Went ahead and swallowed a bird book and almost a year later is still utterly obsessed with birds. I know nothing about birds - much to his surprise "why don't you know this Mummy you're much older than me?'

His homework is fairly minimal- and in the case of that particular piece was fairly life changing for him.

Example of conversation in the car.

Ds2 "Mummy, Daddy, quick stop"
Me: 'what why?' (imagining pressing need for toilet
Ds2 "I think I just saw an Egyptian Goose over there"

(and yes I looked it up and such a thing does exist- I'd never heard of it)

morningpaper · 15/08/2008 11:38

OK perhaps my experience is exceptional.

But I would like to suggest that perhaps it is a possibility that powpow's DD would also have an exceptional experience?

Original poster
powpow · 15/08/2008 11:40

sorry, but my ideas are not false.
i'm not some closed-minded person who blindly went into home education!
who blindly goes INTO home education?

my dd went to the best nursery attached to the best school in the area.
here's just one from my personal file of actual time in school.
she had assembly one day with the whole school, they were listening to african drummers.
my dd is really into dancing and music.
she was clapping her hands and moving her body as much as she could in her little cross legged position they all have to take.
her teacher (who believed her to be 'bolshy')
told her to stop.
so she tried.
this is a 5 year old listening to lively music.
she started again.
she was taken out of assembly and sat on a naughty mat outside in the hall. missed the whole assembly for enjoying the music in a way that 'most' people would enjoy it!

how is that ok?

when she was 4 i walked into the nursery toilets while all the little girls were comparing knickers and deciding who was 'in the club'.
my dd went through a period of only wearing dresses because if she didn't 'no one will play with me!'
at 4 she was sent home with homework and i was told that she needed to work on her writing skills.
the school down the street has cut all music classes.
the other one allows for one hour of outside play a day.

i am not making false assumptions.
you are making them about me.

NOW i am leaving LOL!

OP posts:
morningpaper · 15/08/2008 11:44

ah well the lesson is there is that you always need to actively avoid the "best schools"

Original poster
powpow · 15/08/2008 11:44

lol!

OP posts:
KateF · 15/08/2008 11:45

Hi Powwow, if you're still reading this I just wanted to say that I have been in your position. I took my then 5 year old out of school in Year 1 because she was so unhappy. After 6 months she asked to return and I really didn't want her to but she was insistent and I felt I should allow her to make the choice. I still feel that she would be getting a better education at home (due to her dyslexia) but it remains her choice and we review it every term. You know your child better than anyone else so only you can tell whether it's a low point due to summer holidays or a genuine wish to give school a try. Good luck

morningpaper · 15/08/2008 11:45

when she was 4 i walked into the nursery toilets while all the little girls were comparing knickers and deciding who was 'in the club'

This made me lol

I don't even know what it means but it does sound funny

I'm sure there is an important life-skill there somewhere