Do you agree with me about young boys in our society?

[Elf]

I've just quickly read something that Fillyjonk said about her son needing daily walking and it reminded me of something I meant to put up for discussion here.

IMO, our young boys (boys in particular I think), get a bit of a raw deal in our society. It seems that many people agree that many of them are very energetic, want to run around, be noisy disruptive etc etc.

I feel that this is because not so long ago and for all generations before that, young boys would have been with their dads a lot of the time, spending their time being useful in their community and also learning important skills for hunting, fishing, making bows, arrows etc. They were learning, very early on what to do to be a man in that community.

They would have been outside all day everyday, using up this energy they have and would have felt like useful, respected members of the community.

I feel my dcs need to go for long walks everyday, which isn't always possible, but I feel that that would be one of the most natural things for them to be doing.

Instead, boys here today are given trampolines to bounce off their energy or just, as Fillyjonk says, labelled with ADHD etc.

If it was normal for our children to learn how to survive outside and get all their requirements from their local environment, that would keep them healthy mentally and physically. I often lament that we are not all in straw huts or caves in small villages. (Though perhaps somewhere warmer

What do you think? I know what I mean, I hope it is clear to you.

I find the Tintin comics quite dull, myself (though DS did like them).

Dick King-Smith, even, wrote Aristotle.

Dragon Trouble (Yellow Bananas series.)

DD is only on ORT level 5 and working thru this book and related compilations. I suspect she's a real go-er, though, reading wise.

yes, that was what dd was like.

easy, in comparison.

Try the Boys Rule series, then, I swear by them, suitable age 6-10. Full of jokes and boyish pranks (getting almost back on thread topic).
Sorry to hijack your thread, Elf.
How old is your ds, mb?

7.5

Reads at around 6.5-7 ish

MB - have you seen the Gaskitt books by Alan Ahlberg? Very funny and good wide text, but don't look babyish at all. DS2 loved them.

this is one but there are more. Worth a spin, promise.

Okay, what about (you can ask public library to get these in for you, ours doesn't charge for this service on a junior's library card):

Head full of stories, Twisters (Su Swallow)

Pirate Adventures (Usborne Young Reading: Series One, Russell Punter and Christyan Fox)

Poppy and Max and the Sore Paw (Sally Grindley, Lindsey Gardiner)

Superpooch and the garden ghosts (Thomson and Gordon)

Funnybones series by Andre Amstutz (or would he think they were too young for him?)

The Magic Porridge Pot (Alan MacDonald)

Marlowe's mum and the Treehouse (Karina Law)

Darnit, can't access DS's loan history from here or I'd have loads more to suggest.

we love those Gaskitt books (think there are 4 of them). There's one where the car radio keep mucking up and saying announcements wrong - had me laughing out loud.

martianbishop, I couldn't agree more re books for boys at that age. The age 5-8 category is completely saturated for girls but falls short for boys imo. Ds likes the non-fiction books (like those easier Usbourne books) but hasn't quite found any fiction yet that tickles his fancy (he's 6). He loves those Gaskitt books and some of the Winnie the Witch ones.

There was an item in the Saturday Telegraph this weekend about 100 books every child should read. It was for boys & girls across a wide age range.

100 mile an hour dog books by Jeremy Strong are brilliant, especially the most recent.
There seem to be a lot of child spy books around atm - Jack Stalwart, Zac Power and others.
Jack Stalwart very easy to read but not inspiring, although ds1 likes them.
Zac Power better but annoyingly goes on about his brother being geeky.

Last few ideas for younger boy books:
Scout and Ace books (there's a fairy in one of them, but she only appears briefly).

What about Reading Corner, Grade 3? We recently had this one.

I kind of agree with the OP, although I'd like to think girls would also thrive on more physical activity. All children are, for the most part, brought up by women, first their mothers, childminders,nannies, nursery nurses, primary teachers, so presumable, because of this, girls have the better deal? (I'm talking huge generalisations here I know). Maybe it's always been that way, even in times gone by, boys probably sayed with their mothers till they where 7 ot 8 before joining the men in the hunts etc. Maybe it just happens for longer now?

School is, for the most part, a feminine institution as it is run by women (huge generalisation again I know). So our boys probably do have a bit of a raw deal. Certainly more time each day in school is dedicated to traditionally feminine activities over more physical ones. PE twice a week, what's that all about?!?!? It should be twice a day . Circle time is all very well if you don't mind sitting still for 20 minutes every day and talking about your feelings, but a quick run around the playground would probably be just as beneficial in calming the kids.

My DS's school have bucked the trend though, half the primary teachers are male!! Hopefully it's a trend we will see continuing.

I will always remember my male form tutor when i was 11.

He was the first young male teacher I'd ever had, and I once saw him unceremoniously dump an 11 year old boy in a massive waste paper bin - precisely what the boy himself had just been caught doing to someone else.

The chances are that a young female teacher would not have done this. She's have talked to himl explained why it was wrong, explained how it had made the other child feel, and how she expected him to feel ... and he would probably have done it again.

but this young male teacher wAS ON THE SAME WAVELENGTH as the young males in his class, and they adored him.

I still think boys and girls should be taught separatly. There is no reason not to.

He's be sacked if he did that now.

And the mother would post on MN, and everyone would post that he teacher should be stripped nekked and whipped until the blood run, his house knocked down and the land sowed with salt!

but I do get your point and agree with it,

Studies show that boys do best in single sex schools and girls in mixed....but I would be inetersted to see the time line of the data.....old girls schools in the 60s often limited girls education to being 'a good wife', I spent hours learning to knot while the boys were learning joined up handwriting in year 3!

I agree coldityz, that's exactly it. That teacher was on the same wavelength as the boys. I do think girls would also benefit and get a more rounded perspective on life if tey where taught by male teachers as well as female though?

I thkn it wouldn't be enough just to seperate the boys and girls into same sex schools, I think the whole philosophy of the school and the way that learning and teaching takes place would ideally have to be different depending on whether it was a boys or girls school. No point seperating them if they are fundamentally being taught in exactly the same way is there?

I haven't read all the replies (will come back later and do so - interesting topic!), but wanted to say that I fully agree with the OP. I am so sick to death of people expecting my 3 yr old son to 'behave' in social situations (ie. sit quietly and act like an obedient puppy). He has huge reserves of energy and enthusiasm, and definitely needs a few hours every day where he can just run around the park or tear around the softplay centre and let off steam. Yet even in these environments, it can be tricky. I find 21st century attitudes towards young children are still pretty Victorian in many respects!

Great post, LoveAngel. I mind as much for the three year old girls as the three year old boys.

I fully agree with op and many other posts but would like to add that girls also need proper play and exercise too. I was one of the scrumping apples and playing knock and run types, 'when I were a lass'.

All our children are molly coddled and cosseted too much these days, teenagers are equally 'not tolerated'.

Let's start a 'let children be children' campaign

MB has a point. That teacher wouldn't be allowed to dump an 11yo boy into a bin now. Whether the teacher was male (on the boy's wavelength ) or female.

MB I thought there was research showed that boys did better in mixed-sex schools and girls did better in single sex schools. Although this artilce that I googled at random seems to conclude that co-ed is possibly better.

I do think that there is a lot of stereotyping of boys and girls on this thread.

Very true@emmagain. I only have a boy (so far!) so can only speak from my experience, but I think you're right - children in general are coerced into behaving like little adults, and I think that's wrong. I live in London, so it isn't practical, but a big part of me realises that the best thing for my son at this age would probablyb e for him to spend most of the day outside, running around and exploring.

I think the latest research is that both sexes do better in same sex lessons but within a co-educational school with some lessons mixed. Maths and English, I read, are best taught to boys and girls in same sex classes.

wrt the OP, as a mother of girls, it makes me prickle a little. Whilst my dd's enjoy doing crafts, what they love above all is to be able to play freely outside and get muddy and climb and spin and use their bodies. I'd like to see a more creative and physical primary curriculum in all schools as it could benefit all children.

I don't like this idea that boys are being short-changed more than girls. Girls have had to endure hundreds of years of being short-changed by education. And then feminism was all about women behaving just like men. Now that men are expected to behave like women, there's a huge outcry in yet a lot of boys and men do very well out of exercising their typically 'female' characteristics.

I certainly do not disagree that children need to stop being labelled 'naughty' just because they have a lot of energy and cannot stay still.

However, I do see some parents using the 'boys will be boys' excuse to avoid having to step in and stop their son behaving in an agressive/dangerously boisterous manner. At the point where I would be cautioning my daughter against acting in a certain way, another mother would be standing there using the boy excuse to let it carry on. I then have to wonder how much I condition my daughter to act 'feminised' because of my expectations compared to the mother of the son.

Interesting to hear all the replies. Yes I was being rather sexist and I do believe that girls need lots of exercise and being outdoors as well of course, it's just that I thought boys were rather more boisterous, in the main, not always and get labelled more.

I agree that all children should be able to play and run around as much as possible outside but sadly our society is very much geared towards indoor activities. Of course, here in Britain, the weather doesn't help.

I've jumped from page 2 so my apologies if the post has veered and I not up to date.
When I was a young girl (said in quavery old voice) of 12 or so (32 years ago) we as a gang used to grab a sandwich and a drink and just disapear for the whole day. It could be just 100metres away in the woods, 2 miles away at the ruined Abbey that we used to climb walls (I looked at the height of them last time I was there and nearly had kittens) and jump from one to the other (about 10 metres high) or play ball tag. Or we might go up to the disused quarry about 5 miles away and play in the quarry climbing and running all day.
We would head back as the sun was starting to set and get home just before dark and nothing was ever thought about it.
I never thought that the Enid Blyton books were un-realistic as I could easily see myself in the same situation (I was George).
I don't know what cure there is, I am just so sad that life is so different for kids now.

I posted a load of books suitable for boys inthe 5-8 age group yesterday but it hasn't appeared. Oh well.

Agree with you, Today. Quite a bit of wavery sexist stereotyping.

ooooohhhh Humph! Thanks for thast tip-off. Guess who's off to Waterstones tomorrow