Has anyone ever regretted homeschooling their children?

hugshugshugs · 2022-03-11T22:02:22+00:00

Hi. Just that. Has anyone ever regretted homeschooling their children or wished they had done something differently?

Upamountain43 · 12/03/2022 14:16

Of course i wish i had done some things differently - what parent doesn't but Home Educating was by far the best decision we ever made.

Kitkat151 · 12/03/2022 14:21

Why would anyone ever want to home school their child?🤔🙄

YvanEhtNiojYvanEhtNioj · 12/03/2022 14:26

Are you homeschooling your children or considering it, OP?

AlexaShutUp · 12/03/2022 14:30

I doubt that you will get many people admitting on here that they regret it.

I know a few adults who were home schooled. Some of them really liked it, others really wish that their parents had made different choices. I imagine that the same probably applies to people who were educated in schools - some probably loved it, and others probably would have loved to have been home educated.

theqentity · 12/03/2022 14:33

Like they'd ever admit it

LadyLothbrook · 12/03/2022 14:35

I did it for two years with mine. Best thing I ever did. We covered some things that the curriculum doesn't teach them and their teachers always bring up how beneficial they believe it was to them. Both DDs (primary) are now working at a greater depth according to their teachers. I am by no means a qualified teacher but we used lots of resources available to us and I taught them maths from a very early age.

Thewindwhispers · 12/03/2022 14:48

I was home schooled for years, and wish I hadn’t been…

I still know a lot of HE types and the parents tend to be fanatical about it. Their children don’t have many friends 😔

My view is that HE is way better than a shit school and nowhere near as good as a great school 😬

WonderfulYou · 12/03/2022 17:26

@LadyLothbrook can I ask why you only did it for 2 years?
If it was the best thing you ever did I’m surprised you didn’t carry it on.

NerrSnerr · 12/03/2022 17:33

I think it depends why someone chooses to home educate. Some children do not get on in the school system and home education is 100% right for them.

Other parents had a bad time in school so decide not to give their children a choice and will home educate. That may or may not be right for the child. A girl I went to university with hated she was home educated, she didn't get the qualifications needed as her parents didn't 'believe in them' and she had to do it herself age 18 after leaving home. She really resented them. I am friends with a few home educators and I do internally roll my eyes when they say 'been to the shops and Ocean helped with the list which is a great Home Ed experience' and some bollocks about how not all learning is in school as if kids who go to school don't do the same.

SquitMcJit · 12/03/2022 17:37

“ Ocean helped with the list”

Just made me laugh a lot

Moonface123 · 12/03/2022 17:38

It was the right decision for us, son diagnosed with anxiety and panic disorder age 13, he couldn't attend school, it was taking forever to try and get him help so we had to get something else in place.
People are so conditioned to believe school is the only way when infact it is quite limiting, and in our case they were hopeless at dealing with MH issues, just threatened us with court etc.
It worked out well, he attained excellent results and is now studying for A levels as well as working part time.

TyrannosaurusBex · 12/03/2022 17:47

I HEed my three. Two years each for the elder two, five years for the youngest. Elder two went back to school in Y7 and have been fine, youngest returned in Y6 and it has been really difficult. I regret HEing her. She has been diagnosed with ADHD and between that and the HE has not learned adequate social skills.

gianthammock · 12/03/2022 17:51

Nope, I homeschooled for two years too after DC just could not cope with school and was being bullied. School did not address any of the issues.

Went back in 2 years later to a different school with a different attitude, excelling all round, now doing A levels.

DC was diagnosed with Aspergers as a 14 year old, looking back I can see it all now but they were very good at masking.

It was tough for me, reducing my hours and working around schooling/paying for everything. DC did tons that they wouldn't have done in normal school, conservation work, living history projects, orienteering, latin, drama with a theatre group, art with a group of artists.

If you are in the right location HE can be fabulous. Not to be undertaken lightly IME.

LadyLothbrook · 12/03/2022 17:55

@WonderfulYou Of course. We knew it wasn't going to be a long term situation. We had moved to a new area and they couldn't get into a school so I had no option but to make arrangements to teach them at home. After a few weeks we all enjoyed it and they seemed to be really responding well to the one-to-one dynamics of home schooling. We covered all of their basic subjects and plenty more. I had the flexibility to do it while I worked from home using the evenings to do my work and it worked well for that period of time. We stayed in frequent contact with the local council who requested details of everything they had been learning and their feedback actually encouraged me to keep going for a while longer. After a couple of years I did feel anxious about their lack of socialising with peers so we spoke with them and all agreed it was time to go back to school. And as I mentioned, I'm not qualified to teach them long term. As younger children it was fine teaching basis maths and my youngest how to read, but I appreciate the hard work teachers put in to becoming teachers. I say it was the best choice I've made as I fully believe that couple of years was a healthy start to their academic life. I maybe should have put those details in my post as seemingly the OP wonders about HE in a greater capacity.

homeedregret · 12/03/2022 17:57

.

homeedregret · 12/03/2022 18:11

Just checking name change worked! I home schooled my 3 from the beginning until mid secondary. Early years and primary school age great, hated every moment of the secondary stage. My eldest wanted (and needed) to go to school around Y7 and couldn't get a place anywhere. He didn't end up going until y9 and I'm utterly ashamed to say that I was very overwhelmed and used to end up in tears. We didn't have a big HE community and the ones I did meet were all evangelical Christians that we didn't have much in common with. He went to clubs every day but it really wasn't enough to make meaningful friendships and he lost out on 'the boys' (my other 2 are girls). Ended up getting a place in a boys grammar in y9 and slotted in perfectly. No issues academically and did very well at GCSE and A level. I wish that he went straight into Y7, that's my only regret. The other two had less of a need for socialisation but one really craved structure and started school in y8 and the other in Y7. I felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders when they were all in school!
I was an evangelical homeschooler but now I feel I should write books on the hard reality of what homeschooling can be like. On my groups crying, feeling burnt out and guilt were very common emotions, which really can't be good for children. I'm very open with my dc that I feel like I let them down in the secondary years and totally understand if they feel that way too.

itsstillgood · 12/03/2022 18:40

We home educated from the start, my youngest is 16 and just finishing GCSEs. He's about to enter the system for the first time at 6th form.
Has it been easy? No, not always.
Are there things I would do differently along the way? Yes, definitely.
Are there bad things about home ed? Yes definitely.
Do I regret it? Absolutely not.

nicesausages · 13/03/2022 05:05

Would love to hear more from the grown up DCs perspective. I'm sceptical about the benefits, but can see it's probably very necessary in some circumstances. I think @Thewindwhispers has probably hit the nail on the head

Twiglets1 · 13/03/2022 06:07

I’m a TA in a secondary school and when HE children have joined our school they seem to be a bit behind academically (not in all subjects but they may have missed out on the whole range of subjects others learn at primary) and emotionally.
I don’t agree with HE at secondary level unless there are exceptional reasons. The children normally end up taking a small selection of GCSES not the 10 they would take at an average school. This restricts their A level and University choices.

SilverSplitsTheBlue · 13/03/2022 06:17

Definitely have never regretted the decision. But we follow the curriculum and have numerous tutors as extra support.

lemonnandliime · 13/03/2022 06:19

I've got a genuine question which I've always been curious about HE.

A teacher has to train and study for years to qualify, then have an NQT year and pass that to deem them ready and able to teach.

How can a parent with no teaching qualifications and potentially done with no deep understanding of the subjects, be able to effectively end correctly teach their children?

Some parents will be be more than able, but others for example might have struggled with these subjects themselves and not used those skills since school.

It worries me that some HE children might not be getting any kind of real education and being set up for a lifetime of struggling and not understanding things like English and maths.

Are they monitored? Do they have any support with the curriculum? Or are they just left to their own devices?

homeedregret · 13/03/2022 06:41

@lemonnandliime, a teacher only does one year training on top of their degree, so they haven't spent many years learning how to be a teacher. Primary school level education is quite basic, but I'm still on some home Ed Facebook groups and some of the parents posting there have frightening SPAG. Not being able to use there/their/they're correctly, and one mum keeps asking for recommendations for a 'tudor' 😅.
Monitoring depends on your LA, some are ardent and others won't come to monitor you even if you request it. Mine had a home Ed officer and she came out once a year and was always very happy with the dc's work. You are not required by law to even follow the national curriculum.

lemonnandliime · 13/03/2022 06:49

[quote homeedregret]@lemonnandliime, a teacher only does one year training on top of their degree, so they haven't spent many years learning how to be a teacher. Primary school level education is quite basic, but I'm still on some home Ed Facebook groups and some of the parents posting there have frightening SPAG. Not being able to use there/their/they're correctly, and one mum keeps asking for recommendations for a 'tudor' 😅.
Monitoring depends on your LA, some are ardent and others won't come to monitor you even if you request it. Mine had a home Ed officer and she came out once a year and was always very happy with the dc's work. You are not required by law to even follow the national curriculum.[/quote]
Tudor

OldWivesTale · 13/03/2022 06:53

The majority of teacher training is learning how to manage behaviour in a class of 30 children; I'm guessing this of not an issue for home schooled kids.

lemonnandliime · 13/03/2022 07:08

@OldWivesTale

The majority of teacher training is learning how to manage behaviour in a class of 30 children; I'm guessing this of not an issue for home schooled kids.

I'm not just talking about teacher training.

They will learn how to teach children effectively and demonstrate their ability and understanding for the subjects.

Some parents might not have any GCSEs which is a basic requirement to become a teacher, so if a parent doesn't have those and doesn't have even a basic understanding of literacy and numeracy how will be be able to ensure their children have the skills they need to thrive in education?

Some parents will of course be more than capable and have their reasons for HE, but it is worrying that some children won't have an academically capable parent and therefore aren't being taught properly.