To not send dc back to school after holidays

[fernTaylo]

Basically the school is too far, I don’t drive, public transport is stressful, busy and takes far far too long
No places at any schools nearer
The dc are tired , im terribly stressed and feel that home education would be better all round as we wouldn’t be travelling for a large part of the day, less stress etc
Socialising can be done at other activities they go to
I’m 99% decision made already as am just so tired

Can you afford to employ a full time teacher?
This poster gets the prize for most useless stupid suggestion ever.

OP it sounds as though you have a good local network for HS.

It does sound as though you are all pretty stressed out by your current situation. Do what feels right for you and your kids.

My friend home schooled all three of her children from 11 through high school. All did really well. She joined a home school group that had a centre, they went there for lesson like Chemistry, and for extra maths as needed. The curriculaum was set there and qualified teachers checked work and made sure they weren't falling behind. The rest of the week they worked at home.
All the work was done in a much shorter period of the day that a regular school setting as there was no moving around classes, traveling, socializing, breaks. So they spent time learning other things, they had animals, (lived on 2 acres of land) meal planned, shopped and cooked. Did lots of arts and crafts, and went to swim classes, scouts, and other social things with other home schoolers and after school things with old friends.
It can't work very well for many children.

.Can you find a full time job and your dh do the drop offs and pick ups. Does he drive? Does he work near the school? He could ask his employer for flexibility. I.e come in a bit later to drop off. Take A late lunch to pick up or pick kids up and make up the hours at the end of the day

As many others have said, this isn't about whether home ed is a good thing or not. This seems to be about untreated anxiety which would sabotage the success of home ed in this case. How long before the challenge of educating your children every day becomes too much too.

You need a combination of long and short term solutions as already suggested on this thread. In the short term looking at whether you can cut down the journeys so you only have to pick up maybe. Getting their names down for closer schools, etc. Getting some urgent help for the anxiety as it is not going to disappear because you have stopped doing the school run. It will just move to something else.

Totally selfish. Home education is a valid choice when it's in the best interests of the child.

This isn't about what's best for the children. It's about what's least hassle for the parent.

I home ed in a city with good transport links. I am not sure I would if I couldn’t drive and found buses hard.

See if you can move house to a place where it’a Easier to get to school or see if there is a childminder who can do 1 or both journeys. This holiday make a point to takings kids to museums ‘in your own time’ to see if you are really able to this.

Some HE groups are well established and run by multiple families. Some depend on 1 or 2 and may not be able to run if there is a change in circumstance - just be aware and careful the kids don’t get isolated.

Having read your comments there’s a lot abiut how you struggle with the commute but not a lot about how the children are getting on at the school. Do they enjoy it? Do they want to leave school? Are they wanting to HE? I also wonder how much you know about the curriculum to teach it. I’m a teacher and I’m sure you’d do a sterling job but it’s a lot of hard work and it wouldn’t all be trips to museums. Assuming you’d like them to not be disadvantaged at secondary so would be following the national curriculum you’d have to plan your time to cover everything effectively, work out how to teach the work, get resources together for them to work on and actually teach it. It’s not just a case of deciding on the morning to do a bit of subtraction that day. You ask have to consider how to teach everything. It all takes time to prepare and if you’re home with them all day every day teaching them and then being mum afterwards you won’t get a lot of free time to do this let alone for yourself.

FWIW we have a similar commute for dd to primary school. We leave at 7:45 am and she gets home about 4:20 pm. She’s 8. Does the school have a breakfast club or homework club so you could leave early or collect late to miss peak busy times?

Have you ever have treatment for your mh issues? It might be worth looking at this rather than changing your dc education. I have a mh problem Thanet meant I seriously considered home schooling dd before she started school, it was really tough (for different reasons) to let her go to school and it was really tough (still is) but the reason for her not going would have been due to my issue not hers. I had/have a problem but I didn’t want to let it get in the way of her life. It means every day she’s at school I have anxiety but I know I’m doing the right thing. I have no doubt I could be a good home educator if needed but doing so because of my issues wouldn’t be the right decision. You haven’t mentioned anything about being unhappy with their school or your dc struggling there.

Have you thought about an Uber to school?
The cost of 2/3+ people on a bus is usually about the same as a taxi.
Or are there any other parents at school who drive that could help? You could repay the favour by collecting kids once or twice a week and giving them all tea. Or perhaps do a babysit.

This is one of the most selfish posts I have read .

Can you try to find a nearer school, particularly for your younger dc then HE the older one until a place comes up or appeal? 2hrs on public transport is a lot and I imagine that door to door it is probably more than 30minutes. Being further from school they won't be playing with local friends after school anyway. They may be in different secondary catchment from their classmates so moving now might mean that they have some friends for secondary.

Having said that I think most parents are fed up with the school run at this stage and it might seem better in January.

I am a qualified primary school teacher and I wouldn't do it - you're totally underestimating what would be involved and I'm afraid that it seems to be all about you. I also suffer with anxiety and get overwhelmed at times by things that other people wouldn't understand but I still wouldn't do this. It's not about you, it's about your children and they should be in school.

How far away is the school? If it's more than three miles away you are entitled to home/school transport, two miles if the children are under eight.

If your doing this on a whim I think it’s massive mistake. Home Ed is no easy way out. It’s takes time and effort to do it well.

My kids are in state school btw

I think you would be failing your kids massively

Instead think about changes you can make to be more organised.

Children need school. Home ed is far inferior to them having a routine and education provided by trained staff.
You are taking the easy option and fobbing yourself off that they would be gaining. They wouldn't. You are depriving them.
You need to find another way to sort out the journey problem. Get in touch with the local authority, apply for PIP to get the mobility element which gives you a free bus pass.
Get a better routine where everything's ready the night before.
You need to deal with your difficulties coping with stress as there will be other life events which cause you stress. You can't avoid everything. Said by someone with severe MH difficulties. Don't let your children lose out because of your own needs.

HE can be wonderful but it is for parents who are not only smart but have superb organization skills and lots of self-discipline. I'm a bit worried about it being done by someone who says that they are easily overwhelmed.

I know you say you find weekends and holidays easier but the thing is, you are not currently expecting to get academic work done during those times.

you should ring the council - if you have a medical illness they may be able to help with transport

It would be better to get your anxiety under control. The effects it can have on a child are immense, I've seen it.

Switching to home ed as you want to avoid the bus and save money isn't what's best for the children. It's what's easiest for you.

This needs to be a joint decision between dh and you. Can't he do flex hours/work from home a couple of days a week/drop them off and you pick up?
Or ask a neighbour/friend to do the run for you for e.g. £100 per week?
First I would contact the LA, explain that you are intending to pull them out for health reasons but could they suggest something else less drastic?
Are you on the waiting lists for the local schools? I'd phone them for an update asap.
Is there a CM near your dcs school that dh could drop off to in the mornings and pick up later?
I am making these suggestions because HE is not right for your dc at the moment. As a yardstick, would you be so keen if the groups weren't within walking distance?

I would ask on home Ed forums as there is a lot of predjudice about it.

Children need school. Home ed is far inferior to them having a routine and education provided by trained staff

I disagree with this. Children need an education not necessarily school and home ed can have its own routines.

Absolutely, selfish and totally unrealistic. If you think you are stressed now then how will you feel with children at home all the time who need teaching and taking out and about. You must sort out your own issues and not put them onto your children. There must be better ways to get the children to svhool or to improve your morning stress.

Op I really think you need to see a Dr. I too get overwhelmed by lots of things but with medication and therapy I’m getting better.

I don’t think HE is going to be the best option for you. I k ow lots of people who HE and they are out of the house most of the time. How would you cope with that? How will you cope when little Johnny is refusing to do his maths? Also you will have no downtime for yourself which it sounds like you need.

I used to have to catch the bus my children as when we moved I wanted them to stay at the same school. It was a pita so you have my full sympathy.

Have you looked at other options? Moving schools? Taxis? Or in our area a childminder has a minibus and does the school run for people?

OP, first of all, I understand.
When DC2 started school years ago, there was NO bus at all,other than a terrible out of the way route which required three buses and took and hour and a half (it was a route where a bus came every half an hour- this just isn't realistic). So really, only walking was an option. I don't drive and we only have one car which DH uses and needs (he deals with urgent situations which require him to be available quickly and at any time). I couldn't cycle because the terrain was all mud and stone AND the bridge to cross over was just too tricky with two small kids in tow. Believe me, I plotted and schemed but couldn't find a better way, other than walking. Our walk was 45 minutes each way and it wore me down. You can't do taxis. That was always suggested to me. "Can't you just Uber?" No because actually, £14+ a day on taxis is not doable.

We put our daughter on a waiting list of another school at the end of year 1. By January of year 2, she moved. It was a great move! Ok, so here's the thing, the school is still far away (not as far) but it's right next to dad's work so he drives her and brother in every morning and I pick them up by bike every day (I have a tricycle with a bench on the back for them to sit on). I love it! I love cycling and the route is mostly tow path, so very little traffic. 20 minutes and we're home. And even in the cold winter, it's great. They just bundle up with flasks of hot chocolate, hats, gloves, and decent coats. It's such a calm way to travel.

Can you cycle? Is there a nice route? Can you invest in a box bike or something?

Home schooling is a big decision. It's a total lifestyle that you need to plan and execute without stress being the motivating force behind this decision. I was home schooled for a year by my mother who had been an English Lit secondary school teacher and a head teacher. She managed it very well and stress wasn't the motivating factor behind her decision. And it was always going to be one year: Year 4. Then I returned to school for year 5.

It might work in this case: put your kids on waiting lists and home school them in the meantime.

2 buses approx 30 mins actual travel but the stress and preparation is too much for me always has been I get easily overwhelmed

Sorry, but you need to suck it up. If you can't cope with this, I am confident that you will be unable to home educate your children effectively.

Also you will have no downtime for yourself which it sounds like you need.

This above all, OP.

I feel your plight. I've been in your shoes and I know the bone drenching exhaustion and the inability to abide another school journey from hell.
I haven't seen any mention of waiting lists for other schools. I'll re-read the thread. But I think moving schools is your top priority OR cycling!

The problem with moving this to the home Ed boards is this really isn’t a home ed issue. I have nothing against home Ed per se IF it’s done for the right reasons. This isn’t the right reasons.

It’s the op avoiding the real and very serious issue of anxiety and not being able to cope by changing her children’s lives. For better or for worse I don’t know. But she’ll be taking them from the friends, structure and education they’ve known their whole life.

Whoever said the op had clearly thought about I think we must be reading a different thread. All I’ve heard is it’ll be like the weekends (except dh has to take them out as she still gets overwhelmed) and there’s some home Ed places nearby.

As someone has said - without dealing with the real issue the anxiety it’s likely to rear its head again - she’ll find it too hard to go to home Ed groups, going on educational trips etc. It can really spiral and I say this as someone who’s had GAD. Her anxiety is likely to be transferred onto another activity.

Home Ed is such an emotive subject and it’s likely to get heated. But this really isn’t a debate about home Ed.