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Original poster

Is most of the HomeEd community somewhat 'alternative'?

28 replies

WellyBooties · 04/01/2018 09:43

After a number of issues, My daughter (aged 5) really doesn't want to go back to school after the Christmas break.

I feel like a horrible old bigot asking this, but I'm really worried we won't fit into the HomeEd community.
I'd love for my daughter to socialise with other children during the day. However, I'm hideously conventional and everyone I've come across via the county's Facebook page seems a little alternative (Anti-Vaccers, Vegan, non-shoe wearing). Obviously, there is nothing wrong with any of these things, but I fear I have very little in common with any of them. I wear make-up, drink wine, buy things from Amazon and paid to have the Chicken Pox vaccine.

Is every HomeEd group similar or is it just where we live (Mid Wales)?

OP posts:
QuiteQuietly · 04/01/2018 16:25

You have to keep looking until you find the right people. Where we live, there are various crazy religious groups, hippies and a big SEN/Autism community. But by going to lots of different things, I eventually found two families that I shared values with. And if I had time (which I definitely do not!) then the more medium-sized town down the road has much more in the way of HE goups and I could widen my net a little. Where we used to live had a much denser population and it was far easier to find a "tribe". In more spreadout, rural areas it's always a bit more effort to find your people. Good luck!

buckbeak · 04/01/2018 16:29

I'm a home educator. My ds was horribly bullied in school, he's 7.

I'm pro vaccine, not vegan and my kids have too many shoes.

I don't really 'fit in' with many home educators in my area, only because I still want him to have a school education but at home. I'm not anti school, which I've found a lot to be.

Whitelisbon · 04/01/2018 16:31

If you were looking at my local home ed group Facebook page you'd probably think the same. However, that's a very small, but very vocal, part of the group.
The rest of us are "normal", or as normal as we ever get!
It's just that the alternative ones tend to shout more and shout louder, the rest of us just get on with things in the background.

Katiekatjas · 05/01/2018 13:09

I know the type but I am probably middle of the road and home ed. I think a lot are. I am not anti vaccine as all my kids have been vaccinated. I am anti MMR now due to my son having a very severe reaction and now battling brain damage, previous to this I was non the wiser. This is what makes me avoid a lot of home ed meet ups though. I drink wine and also buy from Amazon and sometimes eat junk food. I think there are many many different types of home educators. I home educate two autistic sons as the school system failed them. Everyone home educates for different reasons also. I don’t think everyone is the same. I would say just keep looking. I wouldn’t call us ‘normal’ but things like vaccinations, diet and lifestyle choices I think are just that, personal choice. There is no right or wrong.

BertrandRussell · 05/01/2018 13:13

Candidly? Mostly, yes. But that doesn’t mean you and your dd won’t fit in.

I would try and address the issues with school first, though. Ir’s not a decision to be taken on the run if at all possible.

AssassinatedBeauty · 05/01/2018 13:47

Mid Wales is a haven for alternative types as it is so unpopulated, remote and rural. You can easily live a very off grid lifestyle and be unbothered by anyone from authority.

Having said that, does it matter that you might have little in common with other parents if your children are happy to socialise with each other? You just need to be friendly and civil, not each other's best friends, surely?

Super123 · 10/01/2018 00:37

BertrandRussell

What do you base this opinion on?

LineysRunt · 10/01/2018 00:42

All the people I know who Home Ed have DC with ASD who have been horribly let down. They are a perfectly normal blend of people, doing their best for their families.

Waddlelikeapenguin · 13/01/2018 00:24

It's just that the alternative ones tend to shout more and shout louder, the rest of us just get on with things in the background.

This! Vegan picnic has a special group Confused but all the other meets where everyone eats whatever (i have seen greggs bags occasionally Wink) dont.

Nigglenaggle · 16/01/2018 17:50

My goodness. And people worry that you won't mix properly if you're home educated. Turns out we all have issues mixing. Maybe our area is particularly nice but we all just get on with our own lives and let everyone else get on with theirs. It's not like we have an ethical discussion about veganism at every meet....

VienneseFingers · 16/01/2018 17:56

I think there's two types of HE- those who are doing it because their individual child/children need it and those who do it because of their (the adult's) beliefs.

daydreamnation · 16/01/2018 18:02

vienesse I think you're spot on there! I live close to a very 'typical' home ed family, they've never done formal school, v.vocal vegans, anti vaccine, mum's a crystal healer etc etc Then there's me, seriously considering it for my very unhappy 12 year old ds, I work in his old primary school, so clearly a big fan of traditional education (most of the time!) I do worry about the two of us finding our 'people' and if we'd ever fit in at any of the local home ed gatherings!

sparklyhorse · 16/01/2018 18:54

Hi. I have had the same concerns. I'm a relatively 'normal person by your description and have chosen to homeschool our 2 when they teach school age. I've found a mix of people in our local home ed groups in Glasgow. I do think there are fewer people like me but as long as a few then that's a start. I've found people very welcoming as a rule and have just given a wider berth to those people o don't have so much in common with.

EB123 · 16/01/2018 18:56

Hi, i home ed. I vaccinate, we eat meat and i love shoes and wine. There is a real mix these days x

EB123 · 16/01/2018 18:59

And i dome ed because we want too, my boys have never been to school or nursery. As i say i have found a real mix.

EB123 · 16/01/2018 18:59

Should say home obviously!

sparklyhorse · 16/01/2018 19:00

I also paid for chicken pox vaccines, I have a well paid part time professional job, had a maternity nurse, wear make up etc. I often think I'm in a very small minority of people who does all these 'normal' things but I also have some quite unusual beliefs and values including home ed, community involvement, time in nature, no TV, co sleeping, extended (and tandem!) breastfeeding. I do my best now just to be myself and not try to fit in to either camp. Some times I'm really lucky and meet similar people.

user1474652148 · 16/01/2018 19:12

Most 5 year olds don't want to go back to school, but usually settle after a few days. This isn't a strong reason to make a drastic decision to home school. Are there other things that you are unhappy with?

Nigglenaggle · 18/01/2018 08:49

Most 5 year olds don't want to go back to school, Says a lot eh? And yet so often we are told home educated children 'miss out'.

Frokni · 24/01/2018 18:18

Thanks for starting this thread OP. I am considering home ed and this is a question I have too regarding the demographics. I am not anti-school, love wine, online shopping and eating meat and eating cakes until I am full!

I know that if DD1 doesn't get into a good school she won't be going and I will be very nervous about it just like you OP

Saracen · 24/01/2018 19:31

It depends on the area. In some areas there will be lots of mainstream home educators, for example if the schools are terrible, or very oversubscribed. On the other hand, in some areas where there are lots of "alternative" people living, many of them may home educate so a larger proportion of the HE population will be alternative. A friend of mine lived in a very religious area and found the local HE groups leaned strongly towards that particular religion. I once spent a few months abroad in a highly polarised area where it seemed half the HE families were isolationist religious fundamentalists and the other half were very crunchy - no mainstream families were to be seen!

I expect in all highly populated areas there will be a mixture, and if you look hard enough, or travel farther, you will find people you like. Don't assume that the first group you attend is representative of all home educators.

Mysteriouscurle · 03/02/2018 15:24

I homeschooled. Many of the children that were in the group had had very bad experiences in school and it while everyone did things differently, it was one of the most accepting, non judgemental groups I ever joined. Everybody just accepted everyone else for what they were. I accept this may not be the case everywhere. But it might be worth going along to a couple of things to see how it is

GingerIvy · 04/02/2018 13:10

We home ed. We eat meat, vaccinate, and are not anti-school (my dd thrived in school). We are semi-structured and loosely follow the NC. I'm sitting at home right now printing off info for a lesson on cells and cell mitosis for us to look at later this week. We do reading and maths every day, including the weekends (although less on the weekends than on weekdays). We also go out to museums and meetups and activities. Some things are more child led and others are non-negotiable for us.

I do know some that are very much child led and are vegetarian,anti-vaxxers. To each their own. I don't step on their beliefs, they don't step on mine.

I think to some extent you have to find those you're comfortable with - either those with similar set ups or simply those that are more open to the idea that we're all different but can still get along fine.

Kayla01 · 01/03/2018 14:11

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Oliversmumsarmy · 01/03/2018 14:28

I home ed and my "local" community HE group are not my cup of tea.

I have tried to bond so has ds but to no avail.

However met a group of mums on a national meet up whilst our dc were doing an activity that I really clicked with.

When ds came out he was chatting away with the same groups DC.

Only problem was they were based 150 miles away.

We have tried different groups but there is a core that seem to go to every group.