Hi everyone. I've been searching the internet for a homeschool forum that is intended for people in the UK. I am very glad to have found this forum. I would like to share my experience of being home-educated. I went to primary school as a child, but never went to secondary school at all because my mum decide to homeschool me. She didn't want me to go to the local underperforming state comp which, at the time, had a poor reputation locally. She tried to get me in to a private school, but unfortunately I wasn't accepted. My mum seemed to have a fixed belief that state schools are crap and private schools are amazing. I also believed that to be true myself at the time. Thus began my homeschooling odyssey. If I had foreseen the destructive impact not going to school would have on me, I wouldn't have allowed it to happen. I would have made absolutely sure that I was in school. I had no idea that my life was going to be completely ruined. I'd like to explain exactly why it didn't work out for me.
To start with, I wasn't monitored at all by anyone from the local council or school. I ended up being completely forgotten about. I have no idea if my mum informed them that I was being HEd. She said that she did, but I received no contact from them until I was 16. My parents got a letter from someone at the LEA asking about how my education was going. Apparently they went to a meeting with this person and had to tell lies about me. They said I was thriving, being educated adequately and had an active social life. None of those things were remotely true. The education I received at home was completely inadequate. My mum has no educational qualifications at all, and was unable to deliver anything close to the standard of education I would have received at school (even an academically underperforming school). Many subjects were skipped entirely, such as chemistry, physics and foreign languages. I was usually left alone to read textbooks or write essays. There were no lessons and very little teaching was performed, as far as I can recall. By the time I got to 16, I was completely unprepared for doing any GCSEs. Even if I had been ready, my mum seemed to have no idea how I would be able to actually sit any exams without being in school. I didn't know either. From what I have read, there's a lot of hoop-jumping involved in trying to sit exams as an external candidate. The onus wasn't on me to find a place to sit the exams though, just like it wasn't up to me to provide my own education. That was my mum's job, and she sadly wasn't equipped for either task. I don't want to be too hard on her as she had no support from anyone. My dad was around but he just left her to get on with it. I completely missed out on doing any GCSEs or any other qualifications. I guess I fell through the system.
As tremendously damaging as my 'education' was to my life prospects, that is only one half of the story. I missed out on everything by not being in school. Friendships, relationships, experiences... I missed out on all of those completely. I had no friends or social life away from school, at all. The friends I had in primary moved on to secondary and made new friends, so they didn't need me after that. I ended up being completely isolated. As I had no siblings, cousins, or friends, my social opportunities were effectively non-existent outside of school. I talked to someone online a while back and they said it was my parents' fault for allowing me to become so isolated. No efforts were made to contact any other homeschooling families. I have never actually met another person who was homeschooled. I feel alienated from the 99%+ of people in the UK who actually went to school. I've spent all of my birthdays since I was 11 completely alone. No parties, and no friends or family to socialise with. My 18th and 21st were spent in my room at home feeling lonely and miserable (I'm 23 now). I've also had a facebook account since 2007, but have zero friends on it. I don't think I'll ever find anyone to add as a friend.
I believe very strongly that none of this would have happened if I had went to school. I would have been properly educated and I wouldn't have ended up being a friendless recluse, feeling completely rejected and ostracised by society. Secondary school provides a proven, tried and tested pathway that prepares a person for the next stage of their education. It also provides the platform a person needs as they adjust to adulthood and being independent. It also gives you a structure, purpose and routine in your daily life. I haven't really had any of those since I left school. Also, colleges and universities are specifically designed for people who attended and finished school. As I didn't, any hopes I might have harboured of continuing in education were extinguished. I have no work experience, qualifications or professional skills, which makes me about as attractive to potential employers as an Ebola victim. I believe I would have acquired those skills and qualifications quite easily if I had went to school. Instead, I have none of them and I'm going nowhere in life as a result. I recently looked up a few people on facebook who I knew growing up. All of them are thriving and excelling in life. They all went to school. The only people I looked up who aren't thriving or excelling are either dead or in prison. I don't think my prospects are any better than theirs. I feel like I'm serving my own life sentence - a lifetime of loneliness, misery and worthlessness.
I just can't understand what the benefits are of homeschooling. As far as I'm concerned there was no reason at all for me not to be in school. I had no disabilities or special educational needs. I was actually one of the top dogs academically in primary school. Is anyone out there actually doing well in life after being homeschooled? Can I just ask, how did you avoid the pitfalls that have befallen me? In particular, how the hell did you meet other kids without being in school? I have had no social life since I left school more than 13 years ago. I have actually barely had a life at all. I have no future and nothing to look forward to. I have no purpose in life beyond eating, sleeping and trying to exist from one day to another. I also hate telling anyone that I was homeschooled, not just because it's destroyed me, but because of how uncommon it is. I'm from a rough city in the north of England and home education is almost completely unheard of here. Is it more common in more affluent areas of the country? Also, I've talked to several people online who went to school and are doing fantastically well in life, and they have all basically said the same thing about it - that secondary school was an incredibly important period in their lives. I read a post on Mumsnet recently from a teacher who said they could not understand why homeschooling parents believe they are able to deliver the rich curriculum or social opportunities that school provides. I can certainly empathise with that based on my own experience of HE.
I just wanted to get all of this my chest. I found it cathartic. I only want to hear from people who were homeschooled or are homeschooling their own kids.