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Home ed

Find advice from other parents on our Homeschool forum. You may also find our round up of the best online learning resources useful.

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Original poster

Stop bloody asking me WHEN DCs going to school! shes HE'd and that it!

63 replies

AnyoneForTARDIS · 18/09/2014 17:41

Need a rant.

as SOON as I say DCs HED I get ''oh is she ever going to school then?''

why? apart from the fact its non of your bloody business, shes not left out or isolated in any way, she has a good social life (shes just turned teen and had special needs) with a couple of small group clubs plus other friends, we tried infant/junior school and she couldn't cope because of her medical problens, nor could the school because THEY couldn't cope with her (a special needs school at that), tried a couple more places and same story, she spent more time at home and doctors/hospital anyway than there, and now, shes very very very happy now and works so well with HE, Im less stressed and we can do things when shes up to it, what she can handle, wether its one hour one day or 4 hours another day, ....

do people thhink HEd kids are thick/prisoners/have cruel parents for ''isolating'' them (their words).

MY child, I know her better than you who couldn't give a flick anyway,
you can see shes much happier and relaxed... aaaarrrggghhhh!

If I had a penny for that question as well as the ''doesn't she have a social life then'' id be on a private island in the carribean with my yatch in my private harbour while I sip cocktails overlooking from my vast balcony on mansion!!!!!!!!!

any good retorts anyone for those questions?

ive tried the kind way, the 'nbodys business' way, .......

OP posts:

ommmward · 18/09/2014 18:20

"Is (s)he ever going to school then?"

"Maybe, if and when it's the right thing for her/him to do. Right now, it works for us"

"Doesn't (s)he have a social life then?"

"No. I keep him/her locked in a cupboard at all times." (add a wink if you feel like it; otherwise, keep an entirely straight face and stare them out)

Original poster

AnyoneForTARDIS · 18/09/2014 19:01

OM ive done the 'no I keep her locked up and shackled in a cellar and she never sees the light of day (this said when we are out in the light of day!) .

OP posts:

ommmward · 18/09/2014 19:10

elQuintoConyo · 18/09/2014 19:22

My best friend at college was HEd, as were her two younger sisters. Very intelligent woman, level-headed, independent, confident, sociable.

"Eff off" always works well in these situations or "Google it" if you want to be less rude.

It is sad you have to meet and converse with such morons.

for you.

Original poster

AnyoneForTARDIS · 18/09/2014 19:26

thanks.

usually cos they cant /don't want to understand DCs disabilities and limitations.

or theyre just nosey/judgy! .

OP posts:

Original poster

AnyoneForTARDIS · 18/09/2014 19:27

maybe I should say ''itll cost you a penny for an answer''.

and Ill soon be rich!

OP posts:

Mumstheword21 · 18/09/2014 19:31

"Doesn't she have a social life then?"

"Of course, why do you think I took her out?! Sitting in the same room for 8 hours a day with people EXACTLY the same age and somebody at the front dictating the finer details of what they all can and cannot do didn't seem very sociable at all...thankfully we don't have those sort of socialising issues anymore".

Original poster

AnyoneForTARDIS · 18/09/2014 19:35

OP posts:

ommmward · 18/09/2014 19:42

"Have you read Lord of the Flies" isn't a good way to make friends and influence people, tempting as it sometimes is as a response to such questions...

Thinking2014 · 19/09/2014 09:38

Actually I had to pop into the pharmacy (the woman always talks to me) this time she decided to ask my daughter why she wasn't in school. I had spoken about this before (to my DD) but said she was ill & tbh I thought thats fine for now because its none of their business anyway + I don't trust these people, might decide to make a phone call to report her out of school. Whilst this could be resolved by explaining she's HE'd I really don't want the stress of having SS on my door especially before I've even been given the "OK" from LEA....
Maybe I'm being silly I just don't want to count my eggs before they've hatched iyswim

Original poster

AnyoneForTARDIS · 19/09/2014 15:12

That's what I think too Thinking so got to answer something by way of explanation.

yeah, Lord of the flies anyone?

OP posts:

morethanpotatoprints · 22/09/2014 17:50

My fil on telling him we were starting H.ed said "What about her education",honestly.

He rambled on that even though I have a degree and a PGCE I'm not qualified to teach her as my degree wasn't in Maths or English.

I don't think any of our dcs primary teachers had an academic degree it was Pottery, tech, drama, P.E etc.

Not that this makes a jot of difference anyway.

I love the question of why aren't you in school? DD usually says why aren't you, hoping they say they don't go to school.
Then she answers well neither do I, that makes two of us.

What are you doing about GCSE's she has to go for those?
I haven't a clue, she's only 10 and nocyou don't have to go to school to take GCSE's

I don't mind interested requests or responses even though they do get boring, after all school is the educational default, but the presumption of knowing all about it raises my hackles.

Chennai · 22/09/2014 18:00

I had this all through my younger DC's home education. It was very wearing, especially when they did the 'I know better than you what's right for your child' head tilt at me.

They've finally stopped now he's at uni. With a scholarship. And he has plenty of friends, too. Who would have thought, eh?

Hakluyt · 22/09/2014 18:03

It's just making conversation. People have to say something.

Smile and move on.

Chennai · 22/09/2014 18:05

Sorry - no helpful advice there about what to say! I mostly went with: 'If he wants to go to school, he can go to school. At the moment he's happy and thriving'.

The thing that got my goat was people telling me we needed to follow the national curriculum or have LEA visits. Grrrr. I just quoted the Education Act at them.

fuzzpig · 22/09/2014 18:07

I think some people just get very intimidated confused when faced with something that isn't the norm.

Or they're just rude of course.

The first time I met a homeschooling mum - well actually just about to officially start - I'd just met her and as her DD was 4 I asked if they'd chosen a school etc (I knew nothing about the process as my DCs were younger) she said she was going to HE... I basically said "Ooh, cool! Can you tell me more about it please?" She looked really surprised - as in, surprised at a positive reaction rather than a negative.

We are considering HE if needed (DCs in school at the moment) and I like to think I have a ready set of replies to rude questions but I would probably forget them all and then be miffed instead.

Hakluyt · 22/09/2014 18:12

I'm hoping that most of the responses on here are jokes that you wouldn't actually use, but if they aren't, bear in mind that there is nothing that pisses off the most HE friendly school user than the suggestion that if you cared a bit more about your children you would HE too............

Hakluyt · 22/09/2014 18:23

Thinking 2014- you don't need a go ahead from the LEA.

If she's de registered, you're home educating!

morethanpotatoprints · 22/09/2014 18:31

Hak

I think Thinking understands this but her LA seemed a bit lacking in knowledge iirc

Original poster

AnyoneForTARDIS · 22/09/2014 18:46

yes its the 'I know your child better than you therefeore I can say something'. grrrrr.

maybe that's what I should say, something like ''oh, since you seem to know my child better than me perhaps you'd like to take her to a school YOU think she'd thrive at, please. by all means pick her up in the morning then take her, then pick her up 10 minutes later when youre called by the school cos shes had a autistic meltdown and then YOU deal with her for the rest of the day to try and calm her down, all the while as shes not learning anything. oh, please do, ''.

DC did 4 hours straight this morning, whizzed through her work, then rested this sfternoon.

that 4 hours is more than shed do in a week at school. no distractions, no meltdowns due to noise, crowds, changing rooms etc, its a joy.

and yy I get the dunce thing too, Im a qualified teacher yet don't profess to know everything about everything. that's why we STUDY!

OP posts:

Hakluyt · 22/09/2014 19:25

"
I think Thinking understands this but her LA seemed a bit lacking in knowledge iirc "

I just thought I'd add to the chorus of "no need to worrys"!

morethanpotatoprints · 22/09/2014 19:44

Ah, well done to her OP, it must be lovely to see her doing so well after having such a hard time.

Original poster

AnyoneForTARDIS · 22/09/2014 19:49

Thanks.wish Id known I could HE years ago, would have saved us all a lot of stress.

Im sure your all doing great with your HE-ing too, well done all.

OP posts:

Thinking2014 · 22/09/2014 20:41

Actually the way I see it is, yes I am home educating but if LEA or (god forbid) EWO decide they don't like me or my style...Well its not hard for them to slap a SAO on us. I've had dealings with SS as a child so I'm well aware of how these sort of people like to abuse their power on a whim... anyway I'm hoping I don't have to deal with anyone like that but I'm sure I'll find out soon ...

morethanpotatoprints · 22/09/2014 20:49

Thinking

I can't remember exactly but didn't your LEA say that you would have to have an inspection and visit from EWO? This person was your dc support worker and the H.ed liason, is this right?

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