Is this the final push?

[insanityscatching]

Posted previously about my y6 statemented dd and my reluctance to send her to mainstream secondary. Today we met with secondary SENCo and prospective designated TA and I think I have had my final push to withdraw. The TA is a girl who was at school with dd1 (21) and not even one of the clever ones.
I feel they see dd2 as an easy child and have assigned the office staff's daughter for experience for her. Dd is high achieving and impeccably well behaved but she needs careful handling with someone with a strong understanding of autism who can recognise that dd is high on anxiety and with significant communication difficulties and is perceptive and pre emptive.
I don't feel able to entrust her to the proposed TA and feel this is quite possibly the final push.
How easy is it to stop the transition process because every fibre in my being is screaming "stop! I need to get off now"

You know how easy it is, insanity. You can find template letters on the education otherwise site:

"After careful consideration I/we have decided to withdraw my/our daughter from school in order to take personal responsibility for her education. Please delete her name from the register in accordance with Education (Pupil Registration) Regulation 8(1)(d) 2006, as she is now receiving education otherwise than at school.

Please will you confirm receipt of this letter and inform us of the date that our daughter’s name was removed from the register.

Yours sincerely etc."

Then you walk away. That's it.

How do you know that the TA does not have a strong understanding of Autism? She is unlikely to be completely inexperienced and is likely to have completed her NVQ in Supporting Teaching and Learning, which means she is fully qualified and competent. Gone are the days of the bobbly cardiganed bumbly TA, it's a professional, albeit poorly paid, role.

Obviously you have a strong gut feeling about this, and I'd normally say that gut feelings are there for good reason. However, your post reads as if your objection to this TA is that she is a) young and b) not "clever", neither of which seem reasonable. A good TA should have empathy and understanding of the children with who he/she works, and this is something that builds over time.

I'd suggest having a few more meetings and "settle-in" sessions before making the decision to withdraw. Also, discuss your concerns with the SENCo and ask for a detailed plan of how your DD will be supported as this will help you make your decision.

Ok I admit I don't want a young girl who was at school with dd as dd's TA for a few reasons really.I wouldn't want my dd as a TA to a child like dd either and she knows more about autism than most (and was one of the clever ones )
Firstly I suspect that dd is the proposed TA's path to work experience as a shoe in because her mother is office manager at the school. Secondly it's barely any time at all since she was a pupil there herself and I worry that the teachers might not respect her role as dd's designated TA and she would feel unable to assert herself when it is barely any time at all since she was calling them Sir or Miss herself. But mostly because it signifies to me that they don't really grasp the complex nature of dd's needs if they feel that she will be totally "fine" with a young girl out of college.
I wasn't impressed beforehand if I'm honest and I think this is probably my reason that I needed to go with my gut instincts.

Lougle is it that easy if she has a statement? I want her to finish at Primary because they are a really brilliant inclusive school and dd is nurtured, understood and she has a ball if I'm honest.I just want to end at the end of year six.

yup, just as easy.

Here's an F.A.Q from HESP:

"Unless the Statement specifies provision at home to be made by the LA, the statement becomes a legally unenforceable document. The LA will no longer have a statutory duty to arrange the provision specified in the Statement and nor will parents (who have no statutory duty to provide such anywhere anyway).

The LA are still under a duty to review the statement at least annually, until such time as they cease to maintain it. Where a child is established in elective Home Education, it is reasonable for the LA to conclude that it is no longer necessary for them to make provision or to continue to maintain the statement. Parents who no longer seek provision from the LA could write to the LA asking them to cease to maintain the statement, as it is no longer appropriate."

I've already emailed the SENCo telling her I am having second thoughts and want to halt the plans for transition anyway and will speak to her school but there won't be any problems with her continuing without a transition plan in place there.
I actually feel happier than I have done in months tonight.

Yes you're absolutely right. Transitioning to secondary school is seen as a foregone conclusion, but it doesn't have to be. equally, there is nothing to say that you have to take your child out of school the moment you've decided to HE in the future.

You might want to join several HE groups on Facebook and get an idea of the different 'styles' of HE to come up with a plan? Some people practice 'unschooling' where their child learns informally just by living life and learning is self directed. Other people HE in a semi structured/structured way. Some people enrol with either briteschool or interhigh (two fee paying Internet schools) and there is a state free Internet school hopefully starting at some point in the future.

Education otherwise has a list of HE groups by area, too.

Tbh dd will be a dream to home ed, she teaches herself no end of stuff if it catches her interest. I'll probably make sure that her Maths and English are up to standard and let her study whatever takes her interest alongside. She likes school, well she likes her school which is pretty special if I'm honest but so long as we make sure she has a social life then I think everything else will be easily covered at home.