Regretting taking kids out of school.

[apocketfulofposy]

Posting here for traffic,sorry.

I have 5 children ranging from aged 6 to 10 weeks old.

We always planned to home educate after reading a book about it when ds1 and 2 were toddlers,then when ds1 was about 4 and a half,and i was pregnant with baby number 4,i decided to give our local primary a go,partly because it was just that time where he would of been going and partly because i was finding it hard with them all at home (no family on either side for 3 hours,husband who works away monday to friday,rural ish area,i cant even drive!).

Anyway reception was ok,he liked it,made plenty of friends,dc2 and 3 went to the pre school and liked it,except dc2 had lots of issues with hitting other children and just general destructive behaviour.

When ds1 started yr1 last year he hated it from the word go,he still liked seeing his friends but he really noticed the change between mostly play to mostly lessons,plus his teacher left after a term and the new one was very strict and spoke to the children like she was some kind of prison officer.

Ds2 started reception and seemed to enjoy it but after a few weeks i was called in a few times about his hitting and destroying things,they said he just physically wasnt ready to be at schoolt hat much so put him down to half days,which was a bit of a faff for me as i was in and out all day but it was fine.It didnt seem to help though and he was behaving worse and worse at school,especially at lunchtime,but strangely his behaviour at home was getting better.

Add to this the fact i was finding it hard carting them all around everywhere and i felt crap because i kept forgetting to reply to things and i kept hearing all this micheal gove stuff,i just decided to pull them out,id been thinking about it on and off for a while and just thought do it,and id id it almost on a bit of a whim.

The first few weeks were great and we all loved the novelty of not rushing around in mornings and the kids have been playing all day,and actually one good point is that they have been getting on so much better.

But apart from that i am starting to regret taking them out,i miss the routine,i miss being able to take the babies to their groups and talking to my "mummy friends"(cringe) i miss being able to go to the shop quickly with just the double buggy,i also just dont know what to do with them,and the house is just such a mess!

I know these are'nt huge things but its starting to feel chaotic and i can feel it going back to the way it used to be,before school,and it hink i underestimated how much it did for all of us.I just dont know what to do!

Help and advice please!xxxxx

streaky- so tell me about a typical week- genuinely interested. Where do you go and what do you do if you don't spend much time at home?

And school have changed a lot since most of us were at school!!!

This is why I get riled when John Holt is brought into it when he was observing schools in NY in 1958!! I was at school in 1958 and it wasn't anything like it even then.
Workshops and groups are not the same as the nitty gritty of lessons and progression every week. Schools go to university workshops-very successful too, they have science clubs, enter competitions etc but they are extras.
If you are doing it alone are you sure that you are up to date on the exams? They have changed considerably.
I am totally unconvinced on the subject of your science abilities bebanjo.

Atthestrokeoftwelve-what a wonderful project. My DCs primary school also did topic/theme based learning with a new theme every half term.

What the OP here calls "home ed" I would describe as parenting.

This year we are going on holiday to Crete at DS2 request as he is a self taught expert on Greek myths and wants to visit Knossos. We have not been abroad for five years on hols, so this is a big ticket spend for us.

My DS1 spec'd the components and built his own gaming PC, with help from a techie adult, at age 11.

My BIL taught himself to read hieroglyphs as a child.

This is all autonomous learning but it is additional to school, not a replacement.

Social isolation? :)

This week: Lego Robotics group with 16 children, astronomy club with 18 children working on a group project,
Bookclub with 10 Kids discussing and analysing a book, home ed social club led by council youth workers,

Just a fraction of what we do that includes socialising. Isolation? Really? :)

If I can google in this amount of time what can DD do in a day if she is interested.
DD is 7.
Show me a state school that gives a more in depth answer to 7 year olds.
The information is in the public domaine it is not the privet property of state schools.

I would put you down as one of the excellent ones Wiifitmama. It just isn't what I want from life. I prefer to go to my own book group.
You worry me bebanjo-you appear to be experimenting with your DD

Wiifitmama, have you read the OP? You may not be isolated but she is in a rural area and cannot drive. Her DH works away. No local HE groups or family support. Her pushchair broke so she was at home all week with her 5 kids that she is "home educating". But apparently that is all fine.

We're working towards exams at the moment so not out and about as much as usual, but I'll describe this week:

Monday: Two tutor lessons, morning and afternoon (History and Computer Studies). Practice Biology paper. 2 hours of karate training in the evening.

Tuesday: Another Biology paper in the morning. Afternoon spent at a local special school where he does work experience/volunteering (supporting GCSE Maths and Science pupils). Young Volunteers meeting in the evening. We managed to fit in pancakes .

Wednesday: Study in the morning. Biology tutor in the afternoon. An hour or so on Xbox then after tea Drama at the theatre in town.

Thursday: Exam results day so not much work done as he's been excited . French lesson. Personal Development jobs (housework, laundry, self-care) in the afternoon. Duke of Edinburgh meeting and now he's at Judo for two hours.

Friday: Self study/revision for History exam. History lesson in the afternoon.

Saturday: He does family laundry and personal admin tasks in the morning, then three hours of martial arts training in the afternoon.

Sunday: Volunteer activity in the morning, lunch with grandparents, science group in the afternoon.

There's other stuff that fits in around all that, and he spends social time online whenever he gets the chance as well as seeing people at his groups. It's not a typical week though as we're not out much in the evenings. We like comedy and music when we can.

But TamarB, the point you seem to be missing is that it doesn't HAVE to be something you want from life. I do want this in my life, hence I do it. And I don't want to send my children to school, so I don't. Different things work for different families. I would never presume to tell people they should home ed, but you seem to be telling people they shouldn't.

Fine wiifit, but as happy points out most kids are doing these things as well as school.

This past two weeks my DD has attended 9 dance classes, sat her Grade 5 Ballet exam, performed at a local theatre, my DS has been to his evening LAN meet where they are developing new server software, he has chaired the after school debating society meeting, been to an international school based model UN meeting. He has also sat 8 prelim exams for Nat 5s ( equivalent of O levels) gaining an A pass in all 8 subjects. Attended his science club at the local University. My DD has competed at an interschool athletics meeting, met with a local community police at her youth club arranging with 20 others a petition to have crossing points in our village, as well as down time and seeing friends.

AND THEY HAVE ALSO ATTENDED SCHOOL FULL TIME.

Yes I have read the OP. And I have not commented on it. I have been specifically replying to the questions and criticisms of home ed on the whole.

Wiifitmama you are ducking the question.

The OP and her children are socially isolated and she is not in a good position to provide effective HE.

The activities she has described as HE are just things that all reasonable parents would do or provide, in addition to school.

It's a joke, frankly. People shouldn't be defending her but should be setting her straight.

Agree with happy.
This has been niggling me all day.

No matter how many HEs say that they are doing a great job, they should still be gently suggesting to this op that she and her family may not be suitable for it.

And I should hope that the Facebook mumsnet HE group which she has been signposted to, should be doing the same.

But I have a horrible suspicion that they are not.

With the greatest respect bebanjo she is 5 years old!! At that age I did things with my children like make volcanoes explode, even though they were at school-we did it for fun. This does not mean that I can produce a Science lab with test tubes, Bunsen burners, chemicals etc for a 15 yr old!

All of these things can be purchased if you want them, several online companies deliver the same chemicals they would to schools to people who HE and the same equipment.

I very much doubt my brother is the only HE that has a fully functioning lab on his property, and I know for a fact other HE families use it and his knowledge just the same as he uses theirs about stuff he has no interest or knowledge in.

But TamarB, the point you seem to be missing is that it doesn't HAVE to be something you want from life. I do want this in my life,

Sorry, I obviously didn't put it well. It obviously suits you, you love doing it and I would call you, on the evidence given, HE at the best. I was just making the point that a lot of people don't want it. OP isn't going to do it your way-she is far too bogged down with practicalities of life.

"
I very much doubt my brother is the only HE that has a fully functioning lab on his property"

How irresponsible!! Is he regulary inspected inspected by the Authorities for this? What about safety equipment, eye baths, emergency showers etc.

Many of the chemicals used in schools are extremely dangersous and can only be purchased with a licence. Potassium metal, sulphuric and nitric acid but to name just a few.
Do they authorities know about this clandestine laboratory which could be putting children in danger?

The OP and her children are socially isolated and she is not in a good position to provide effective HE.
The activities she has described as HE are just things that all reasonable parents would do or provide, in addition to school
It's a joke, frankly. People shouldn't be defending her but should be setting her straight.

This is my problem with it. There are lots of people now on the thread who are excellent at HE but they won't come out and say that OP has a situation that isn't suited. There is a code of silence where it is pretended that anyone at all can do it and they are all equally good.

I would be very unhappy living next to someone with a fully functioning lab on the premises! I also can't see the point in paying for tutors when you can get the teacher and lab for free.
Even if you are allowed to have all the chemicals without licence it must cost a fortune.
You would be better doing what a friend of mine did and flexi school, just going into the subjects they wanted.

I missed the bit about lab equipment.
We currently have 2 spirit burners, 24 test tubes, 3 conical flasks, test tube holders, 2 sets of chemicals, 3 pairs of safety googles, lab coat, plus stuff like spatulas, twesers gloves ect.

We have a microscope that can be used as a stand alone or plugged into the laptop.
A spotting scope and tripod.
A very friendly local butcher.
A home ed freind who's a pharmacist.

Fwiw.

I've read through the op's posts again and I'm going to go out on a limb here and say it does not sound like she's really doing anything much other than just hanging out with her kids.

I'm all for autonomous educating and facilitating learning in traditional and none traditional ways and I also have the utmost respect for any educator who is able to know what their child is learning no matter how it's done,just how the vast majority of HE have done here.And I 100% understand and would not challenge why most LA's totally accept this form of education.

However she's given no impression whats so ever not even a tiny hint of any learning interests her children have,she's not even implied they could ask about any subject and be provided with resources,no mention of anything at all apart from a few story books and baking (not even sing the maths and silence opportunities there).

So op either you are using one of the extreme radical approaches (ones that rarely get accepted as education) or your kids are not HE they are CME.

I get my kits from charity shops, never paid more that £2 a set.
Usually only one experiment is done so lots of legally sold chemicals for use to use.

atthestroke

Yes it's perfectly legal, he has everything legally required to do so.

Oh and he has no neighbours

I don't think OP understands autonomous education, it is rather like someone thinking they are doing Unconditional Parenting when they are just letting them do as they like.
I thought OP was a wind up (proved wrong) but I am beginning to think that you are bebanjo.
To be clear I think that any parent could tackle science up to the age of 11, and most certainly for a 7 year old. You do not need all that equipment-it seems positively dangerous! (and I am the person who thinks children should chop vegetables with sharp knives, use the toaster etc from a young age)-quite alarmingly dangerous!

Well done Needs for going out on a limb.
You shouldnt have to get into trouble for saying what most non HE people and just a few HE people are saying.