Regretting taking kids out of school.

[apocketfulofposy]

Posting here for traffic,sorry.

I have 5 children ranging from aged 6 to 10 weeks old.

We always planned to home educate after reading a book about it when ds1 and 2 were toddlers,then when ds1 was about 4 and a half,and i was pregnant with baby number 4,i decided to give our local primary a go,partly because it was just that time where he would of been going and partly because i was finding it hard with them all at home (no family on either side for 3 hours,husband who works away monday to friday,rural ish area,i cant even drive!).

Anyway reception was ok,he liked it,made plenty of friends,dc2 and 3 went to the pre school and liked it,except dc2 had lots of issues with hitting other children and just general destructive behaviour.

When ds1 started yr1 last year he hated it from the word go,he still liked seeing his friends but he really noticed the change between mostly play to mostly lessons,plus his teacher left after a term and the new one was very strict and spoke to the children like she was some kind of prison officer.

Ds2 started reception and seemed to enjoy it but after a few weeks i was called in a few times about his hitting and destroying things,they said he just physically wasnt ready to be at schoolt hat much so put him down to half days,which was a bit of a faff for me as i was in and out all day but it was fine.It didnt seem to help though and he was behaving worse and worse at school,especially at lunchtime,but strangely his behaviour at home was getting better.

Add to this the fact i was finding it hard carting them all around everywhere and i felt crap because i kept forgetting to reply to things and i kept hearing all this micheal gove stuff,i just decided to pull them out,id been thinking about it on and off for a while and just thought do it,and id id it almost on a bit of a whim.

The first few weeks were great and we all loved the novelty of not rushing around in mornings and the kids have been playing all day,and actually one good point is that they have been getting on so much better.

But apart from that i am starting to regret taking them out,i miss the routine,i miss being able to take the babies to their groups and talking to my "mummy friends"(cringe) i miss being able to go to the shop quickly with just the double buggy,i also just dont know what to do with them,and the house is just such a mess!

I know these are'nt huge things but its starting to feel chaotic and i can feel it going back to the way it used to be,before school,and it hink i underestimated how much it did for all of us.I just dont know what to do!

Help and advice please!xxxxx

Science not hard to do at home?

I echo Tamer's points about equipment- you would also be unable legally to buy many of the chemicals that schools use.
But even the concepts- can you teach your child the chemistry of photosynthesis? What valence is? What a transition element is? How a diode works?

Unless you have a degree in science I think many parents would struggle to keep up with an enthusiastic science learner past the early years.

Wow atthestrokeof, I would love to meet teachers like you describe, where are they?
I have never met one in any school I went to, my DH never met one.

bebanjo you are not the only mother who cares "more than anything" to make sure their child gets what they need

It is precisely why I want mine at school. I want to have the role of mother and relax and have fun-I can still do educational type things-(judging by some people on here I managed more than they did with children home full time!) I don't want to be solely responsible for their education-that is a really scary thought. They have one childhood and can't afford to mess it up. At least with a succession of teachers some must get it right!

Wow. What an interesting interpretation of my post :)

There is nothing impersonal about my approach. One of the best things about home ed is being able to tailor exactly to my children's strengths and weaknesses. I spend lot of time and energy creating opportunities specifically designed to meet their needs and interests. For example, I coached my two older sons as part of a home ed team that took part in this year's First Lego League. I lead a home ed bookclub where we read classics each month. My eldest son is involved in an independent study project designed by his home ed peers in which they are designing and developing a computer game. My 9 year old is writing his own home ed newspaper (I realise I have outed myself now). All if this things have engaged and inspired my children. They do not need me to "teach" them to be engaged. It does not mean I am not fully involved and part of their education.

I met teacher like atthestrokeoftwelve-I had some very inspiring teachers. It isn't unusual. I went to the funeral of a woman of 91 yrs last week. In the funeral address it was said how much she had adored school and could still recite the name of all her teachers and the subjects and this was a woman who had to leave school early-for economic reasons and not lack of ability.
I fail to see why people project their experience of school on to their child. My father had a hard time at school but I am not my father, it is a different time and place so I can't see why it has any relevance to me.

You are just very lucky if you can manage to tailor it to them WiifiFitMama. I can't. If they have an interest in English and HistoryI am fine. I couldn't cope with the Science beyond a very basic level and I would have failed my artistic son altogether. I doubt whether many people could cope. Although you are doing so well I can't see why a gifted teacher with a degree in the subject wouldn't do even better.

I'm self motivated. I've completed a ou degree and an Oxbridge (mainly self study) one.
I'm still so very glad I had inspirational teachers to guide my learning at school. And good lecturers at uni.

I really do think teens doing self study instead of class based miss out an awful lot.

TamerB - are you able to guarantee me that my children would have had that "very gifted teacher" who is specialised in each subject for each and every year and each and every class they do? :)

I am being a bit overcritical WiifiFitMama-you sound like HE at it's best. I just don't think many people can do that-even if they want to.

wiifitmama what you describe happens in schools all the time- and much more.

My kids' primary school - like many now- have topic based learning. In my DDs last year at primary school the class built an elevated bird hide in a local forest. This involved meetings with the council, submitting planning applications, speaking with a quantity surveyor, a local architect gave their time free to help oversee the project.
The children designed and built this 30 foot high structure, big enough to hold 30 people.
It took 5 months, and during that time a lot of the children's class work was arranged around the project. They studied forests, wildlife, birds, conservation. Maths and design they were learning how to concieve and develop ideas, look at strengths of materials, work out quantities and angles. Art was based around forests and wildlife. Language work also centred around this., The children wrote press releases, gave interviews to local newspapers and radio stations.
During the building work they took photographs of the progress of their work and gave regular presentations to the rest of the school ( school was big on encouraging confidence in public speaking).
At the build site they used power tools, used cement mixers, made barbeques for lunch, sawed, nailed, drew and photographed progress, made up working songs to sing together. Picked flowers, went pond dipping. Each child had a big say in what activity they would like to do.
The class of 26 children worked fantastically well together, worked as a unit and became terrifically fond of each other. Bullying or nastiness was not tolerated and the class would help anyone feeling down or left out.

This is a local state school and I don't think unusual- this was the type of learning and avtivity which was common place at my kid's primary school.

No , WiifiFitMama, but I think they are missing a lot by not being exposed to any.

Not unusual at all, atthestrokeoftwelve, my children had similar experiences through school-it is not the picture that HEers want to have of school though!!

Mine were at the local state schools too.

You have gone very quiet on the science provision bebanjo -are you still confident it is easy to do at home?

I think basing a decision to home educate based on a personal bad experience is a little short sighted. Many kids have excellent school experiences. And school have changed a lot since most of us were at school!!!

Atthesteokeoftwelve - the difference is that I am not criticising schools. I am sure what you describe happens. There is a huge amount of criticism of home ed on here and I was trying to address that. Not say that my way is better. Just like I don't expect you to say that your way is better fory children whom you have never met :)

And TamarB - what makes you think that they don't meet gifted and experienced teachers? School is not the only place for that to happen.

tamer- I have an honours degree in chemistry, but I don't think I would be qualified to teach my children at secondary level. Mostly because I don't know enough about the teaching methodology, and I would have to immerse myself in the exam syllabus before attempting.
True I did a lot of science education at home with my kids, but I would hate for my kids to be reliant on me to learn at secondary level. Teachers are better qualified and have a better understanding and experience of teaching than I do.

Photosynthesis, we talked about after watching prof Brian cox explane it.
Diodes would come up later in the year when I plane to show DD how to make a circuit. ( morse code First World War)

Valence, the covalent bond of atoms is on bbc bite sized.

Tranition elements, the metals in the middle of the periodic table are also on bbc bitesized. Iam wondering if I can tie them in with dying cloth, being as many of the compounds provide such good coloures.

Although I would like to know what primary schools study any of these topics.

It does sound like some people home ed based on difficult school experiences 30 years ago...

Sciences are definitely doable at home. My son has done very well at his and has practical sessions at a well respected science facility. Other families arrange workshops through universities with great success.

I think there's some confusion about 'home' education. Much of the work takes place out of the home, in the community, at workshops - and yes they do have equipment and chemicals and everything (and more!) that is available in schools.

Many of the families I know find the hardest part of HE is getting the time to stay home and do 'bookwork' because so much of their learning takes place elsewhere. Even so, most seem to find a decent balance, judging by their children's results.

My point about caring about DD was not agents parents, of course parents want the best. I was stating that teachers are only there for the duration of the lesson, not for life.
Sorry if I have caused any offence, that was not my intention.

I remain unconvinced bebanjo, once hearing brian cox mention photosynthesis doesn't really confer much understanding to you?
Quickly googling answers to my questions doesn't really sound very convincing.

I wouldn't/couldn't home school. I am under no illusions that I would fail miserably to do a better job than trained teachers, with years of experience... never mind the social isolation and exclusion I'd be enforcing on my child. School is about so much more than academic learning.

No one has said if they watched sir ken Robinson, and if so what they thought about it.

never mind the social isolation and exclusion I'd be enforcing on my child

Read my post above, Stockhausen. There are so many unfounded myths around HE - I know dozens of HE families and not one of them spends all day at home, in isolation and exclusion. I expect you, and many other people on this thread, would be very surprised at the wealth of opportunity for home educated children who want it.