Regretting taking kids out of school.

[apocketfulofposy]

Posting here for traffic,sorry.

I have 5 children ranging from aged 6 to 10 weeks old.

We always planned to home educate after reading a book about it when ds1 and 2 were toddlers,then when ds1 was about 4 and a half,and i was pregnant with baby number 4,i decided to give our local primary a go,partly because it was just that time where he would of been going and partly because i was finding it hard with them all at home (no family on either side for 3 hours,husband who works away monday to friday,rural ish area,i cant even drive!).

Anyway reception was ok,he liked it,made plenty of friends,dc2 and 3 went to the pre school and liked it,except dc2 had lots of issues with hitting other children and just general destructive behaviour.

When ds1 started yr1 last year he hated it from the word go,he still liked seeing his friends but he really noticed the change between mostly play to mostly lessons,plus his teacher left after a term and the new one was very strict and spoke to the children like she was some kind of prison officer.

Ds2 started reception and seemed to enjoy it but after a few weeks i was called in a few times about his hitting and destroying things,they said he just physically wasnt ready to be at schoolt hat much so put him down to half days,which was a bit of a faff for me as i was in and out all day but it was fine.It didnt seem to help though and he was behaving worse and worse at school,especially at lunchtime,but strangely his behaviour at home was getting better.

Add to this the fact i was finding it hard carting them all around everywhere and i felt crap because i kept forgetting to reply to things and i kept hearing all this micheal gove stuff,i just decided to pull them out,id been thinking about it on and off for a while and just thought do it,and id id it almost on a bit of a whim.

The first few weeks were great and we all loved the novelty of not rushing around in mornings and the kids have been playing all day,and actually one good point is that they have been getting on so much better.

But apart from that i am starting to regret taking them out,i miss the routine,i miss being able to take the babies to their groups and talking to my "mummy friends"(cringe) i miss being able to go to the shop quickly with just the double buggy,i also just dont know what to do with them,and the house is just such a mess!

I know these are'nt huge things but its starting to feel chaotic and i can feel it going back to the way it used to be,before school,and it hink i underestimated how much it did for all of us.I just dont know what to do!

Help and advice please!xxxxx

Tamer - all kids are different.

School put my daughter through 2 years of compulsory counselling because she wasn't an 'ordinary' 7yo and her peers struggled to relate to her.

That made her feel very ordinary... Not. Fortunately she and the counsellor were able to agree that being different was fine, and they weren't sure why kids who were different need therapy. Is it the right setting for her? Singling her out further? In an attempt to get her to conform?

The myth that all 7 and 8 year olds, or all 10 and 11 year olds are the same (or should be the same) is really quite prevalent. And I say that also as a volunteer who works with children of specific age ranges, and has to try and cater for their very many differences.

I learn best in a class situation. I managed at oxbridge but I don't enjoy it as much. Certainly I couldn't facilitate science subjects like my amazing science teachers did. I couldn't yeah history with the passion my history teacher did. We could cover the topic, my daughter could self teach and we could visit historical places (which we will do anyway) but I couldn't pass on that passion two-three times a week. I remember really looking forwards to some lessons.

If I was home edding I could make do with seminars etc but if my daughter continues to be academic I want a good school education for her.

However even when I was planning to home Ed primary I wanted good secondary school education.

I think you are misunderstanding me, arabella. I see nothing wrong in HE-it suits some children and is the best possible world for them. One size doesn't fit all.
I just think it dangerous to let OP think she can be isolated in a rural position, have to rely on public transport, have no local HE groups, no family and her husband works away so she can't even get help to cook meals, bedtimes etc and all will be hunky dory. She can have 5 children of differing ages, abilities, interests and needs and they can be completely unstructured-do nothing much and then when they want to organise themselves and have a choice of any career!!

Who says they are all the same or should be? Certainly my daughters reception class is widely differentiated. No school would treat them all the same. She is reading well, so grouped with other readers while some non readers learn sounds for example. This week they've had choral singing in school and African singing which is brilliant add a group. Similarly pe games etc. Of course you can do all this out of school but this is just standard education at hers.

She's very bright and treated differently to those stifling on terms of what they're encouraged to do and learn, but together for singing and pe etc.

I'm glad she's not with babies or teens for school as they're in age appropiate groups. However she mixes plenty with other ages out of school too and that's good too.

Sorry I'm answering other points and going off topic. I'm not against he, and considered it myself. In some cases I think it can be fab. However, like tamer suspect the ops circumstances aren't conducive to creating a good home ed experience from what she says.

It's v. Wrong to demonise school at all costs (as it would be to demonise HE at all costs.)

HEers like to think that schools are sausage machines turning out a product and that schools actually want this!! (or some do). They love the individuality and quirkiness-don't we all?

Exactly tamer.

It's v. Wrong to demonise school at all costs (as it would be to demonise HE at all costs.)

Exactly, it is a pity that it always gets HE v school. GThat is not my intention. I am in awe of some HEers -but the ones who are providing an education. Not those who let them play computer games all day and justify it in educational terms. There is an off switch!

Mainly because I transfer some of the problems I had and forget I'm doing it.

I struggled due to a lack of deschooling or settling in,the expectations made of me were in my opinion to high,school when I returned was easier.

Also I was shall we say spirited and rather inventive and school presented far more opportunity for mischief

I must stop wasting time myself! It is the quiet time Goodness-our views will be torn to shreds later!

Yy, we had great experiences in yr r, goodness. Subsequently, individuality seems to be less prized. Yr r was completely brilliant and I was thrilled with the education that was being offered. The school did lots of the type of activities you describe. It was fantastic. That stuff wears off. (Or at least, wore off, once the priority was to teach for SATs.) as time progressed, it was regarded as problematic that dd2 needed different teaching.

Regarding science - I didn't say I'd teach it myself. I said I'd support and facilitate - using other people and other people's equipment. There are a few places that support HE kids that are choosing to study science locally.

I'm glad that your objections were towards the op's personal circumstances, and how she could be supported, Tamer. Hopefully she'll get the support she needs on the private fb page. Her children are so young that there is really no need for particular concern at this point. Hopefully as she's learning to drive she'll soon be able to access everything else that will enable her to make choices about education.

Goodness, school identified that dd should be moved to a different cohort, but were unable to do so. Sometimes, it is an issue. I'm glad it is working so far for you and yours.

Lol, I would love it if all schools loved individuality and quirkiness! The majority seem to view different needs as a giant pita.

Actually, that's unfair. They are willing to work with difference to a point, but don't have the resource in either time, staffing, or funds to meet everyone's needs. But neither do parents, right? We all do the best we can.

Parents here talking about their kids who hate being home schooled.

forums.welltrainedmind.com/topic/473118-kids-who-say-they-hate-being-homeschooled/

The terminology in the post makes me think the forum linked to is in the USA.
I would like to point out that I have never heard of a uk family not allowing a home ed child to go to school if they want to.
In fact if some one was to call themselves autonomous (unschooling in the USA) they would have to allow the child to do this, or lose the wright to call themselves autonomous.

From what I have read, HE seems to have clear advantages and would work for some children and parents. But not for all. Making it HE v Schools isn't I think a good idea. It should be about what is best for each child and parent.

Have been missing from this thread for 4 hours, and it has moved on somewhat!

Good point from Grennie above.

And very very glad to see that there are a few pro HE posters on here, saying that the op may not be suitable for HE, and that HE does not work for everyone.

Some points from previous.

I didnt realise that many children with additional needs are HE.
And to answer a point from someone, yes, I think if they want to take exams, absolutely they should, no question about it.

There was another poster who said and has repeated that HE kids get to choose whether to take exams.
I hugely doubt whether that is always the case. And I sadly suspect that some HE parents do not encourage them to do that.
And also that some HE kids says no and think they made the right choice at the time, only to realise later that they did not.

Giving the child the choice to do exams or not would be a autonomous or unschooling thing.

Not all HE families educate using this method lots will insist the children take exams and use other tangible ways to prove the education because they are quite nervous of being accused of not educating their child

Going back to an ommward post.
Points 1 - 5 were easy for anyone to answer, so not going in to them.
Point 6, I believe the state has care to educate our kids, just like we need them for health and roads and other things. Same thing.
So yes, they should be regulating, even if loosely. imo there should not be a single child in the country that is left to possibly slip through the national education net.
There would be uproar if social services did not have these powers over every child. And health etc etc.

So why is education any different?

Those are the powers the local authority already has.

If they have a reasonable belief a child is missing from education they can investigate and force te child to be sent to school.

I am not sure if you have misunderstood my last post.

www.netmums.com/children/home-education

I am not talking about the LA merely being informed that a child has been deregistered from school.

I mean regulating as in say 3 times a year checking on what education every child in this country is receiving regularly.

I wonder what they have to do to be a cause of concern so that they are investigated - something pretty bad I imagine as playing computer games all day seems to pass as an education.

Given that you do not appear to understand the legal situation as it currently stands in the uk. I will explain it as clearly as I can.

Anybody has the legal right to deregister a child from school or not register them in the first place. The LA can request a meeting with you but you are not obligated to have one,they can request written information regarding the education you are providing,again you are not strictly obligated to provide it.

However if the LA have a genuine reason to believe a child is missing education (not actually being HE but being a CME) a combined approach would be made by the EWO and SW who do have the ability (obviousky after following a few steps) to make you comply and also have the ability to elevate any intervention from a child protection stance as a CME is a neglect issue.

They do have to have a genuine reason to believe you have a CME and HE in itself is not a reason but a referral or allegation would be.

That is the law as it currently stands.

tamer

You were sensible for awhile but now you have started misrepresenting posts again and being silly, any chance you could put your sensible head back on because its far more engaging,interesting and informative.