Motivation

[jussi]

Hello.
I have a 6 year old son on the autistic spectrum.
Due to experience in a professional capacity as well as with my son I am becoming very disillusioned with the school system.
I'd love to H.E. but am scared because:
DS has a clear distinction between school and home and school is for learning and home is for playing, therefore cannot get him to do anything remotely educational at home without arguments (which is the exact thing i am trying to avoid) however much I use 'his subject' in the learning.
He is very knowledgable about his subject but only wants to find out certain things and won't extend it to any reading,writing,games,creative things,etc.
He hates writing but is doing so at school reluctantly and my heart says to leave it and wait till he is ready but my worry is that he will never be ready and then I will have failed him whereas at least school would have taught him to write.
So I guess I'm just wondering if anyone else has been in a similar situation and what worked.
(I think I already know the answers of letting him chill out and once he's got school out of his system he will want to learn but I was hoping to do a tester over the summer but if I let him chill completely then he will be back at school before we try anything.
We will be going out and about constantly, have also used reward systems but this leads to him getting stressed(although he will do the activity).
Am alo member of HE-SP so will post there too.
Thanks, sorry for the slight ramble, am just soooo relieved we are finally on holiday!
Thanks

erm... I'd just chill for the foreseeable myself.

Lots of children are resistant to learning to write nicely. They've got a point. We live in a keyboard society now. If we need beautiful handwriting later, we can learn it later.

Leave him to find out the things he wants to find out about his subject. Once he's found them out, he'll want to find more things out. It might take a year. But I promise you that, when you look at what he achieves during that time, you'll realise how much he's learning.

You almost certainly need to go down the unschooling route. The main thing you need to do with your son is help him learn to be an independent and functioning member of society. So the important things are about independent toileting and learning to buy and prepare a meal, and learning to dress himself, and learning to have functional conversations with people out and about. None of that needs to smell of school to him. It's really a matter of you supporting him as he learns that sort of independence (and oh my, the moment when a child heads off alone into Tesco with a fistful of money and a list - what a buzz!!!!)

Don't do reward systems. Life is hard enough for someone on the spectrum without that sort of artificial bargaining with reality.

What works for us:

• concentrating on life skills, including spending time with other children (and while those are gradually being acquired, more "intellectual" things seem to get learned by osmosis and without pressure)
• putting everyone outside for vigorous exercise at least once a day
• responding to questions; helping child get resources they ask for where it's possible; making sure there are plenty of books and screens available (and the internet natch). Following the child's attention and interests, a la Greenspan Floortime
• the end.

Thank you.i do agree with your philosophy,I'm just worried its not going to work.As you say, life skills are high up on the list of priorities. And the physical exercise-definitely-i get him out on the trampoline everyday, does horse riding, swimming and regular softplay! Another reason for H.E.-would have more time for these.
I guess I just feel like he isn't reaching his potential academically and that why should it be one or the other.i.e.life skills or academic. I do get what you are saying though,that it will come eventually and I really do think it will as I really think school has turned him off learning and although he is coping it is obviously not the ideal environment for him.Then I hear something he has done really well at school and think 'oh, maybe it's not so bad!'
More rambling,oh well,thanks for your comments.food for thought!

I strongly believe that people reach their full potential academically when they are self directed and self motivated.

Also, that someone's special interests and skills might not look like a school curriculum, but can be equally valuable educationally. We kind of have to de-school ourselves as parents before we can get on with helping our children learn whatever it is they need to learn.

He's 6. Plenty of time yet. If he likes finding out about things that's good. There isn't any particular reason to write down what he has learned is there? Or to draw a picture or whatever (not sure what you mean by games and creative things)