Poll: Does HE have more benefits for reception child or KS2 child

[AnnIonicIsoTronic]

Its a choice that I may have to make for real soon!

DC-reception is young for his age, struggles with sitting still & following instruction, 'misses me every day' - but made great progress in all these areas with the help of teachers who are far more patient than me.

DC-KS2 is academically motivated, insomniac & quirky with asd traits.

Ks2 is far more my cup of tea in terms of providing support - but I wonder if DC-reception would benefit more from having more time at home/ nature rambles etc.

It depends on the child's personality and how bad the mismatch is with available schools.

Do you feel that you would only be able to home educate one of your children? Why is that?

A resourcing issue really. I've simplified the dilemma so it works on a talk board - there's a bewildering array of permutations (not to mention - I have more than 2dc!) .

It's mainly thinking about the reception kid - he'd love love love to stay home with me - but it would mean I would struggle to support the older DC full time HE (who is more vulnerable in a way) - and (frankly) I don't think I'm particularly patient with him. I wonder if I am capable of doing a good job teaching him.

DC-KS2 is a doddle. She happily spends hours reading, doing on line maths challenges, writing etc etc.

Is dc2 summer born? If so then you could ask for him to go part time? My summer born reception Ds still has 2 lunchtime finishes ( and 3 full days).
Then you could HE dd and still have extra time with Ds while she does computer learning or similar.

I don't think you should yet rule out the possibility of HEing both of them if you think they would both benefit from it. Many parents who have varying quantities of children, other responsibilities and patience do manage it.

You might be overestimating what is involved in providing "full-time" home education. Most families do it in a way which looks very different to school. The direct attention from you and the flexibility to work in whatever way is right for them means that you can cover everything you want to do in far less time than a school. There are people like me who do no formal work whatsoever with their children, in which case it doesn't really matter about having other children and responsibilities. Even those who prefer a more formal approach with older children may not implement it with a Reception-aged child or may do very little with a young child. You don't have to "teach" your little guy if that doesn't work for him and you. They learn huge amounts by playing and living their lives.

Perhaps you'd get some more ideas about how it might work if you read some blogs and chat with other local families who are HEing several children. Have you met anyone in your area who home educates?

I really think it depends on the child. DD1 thrived at infant school. It was a good decision to send her. She enjoyed home ed once she got to secondary but school suited her to that point. DD2 did KS1 and only year 3, after which we took her out as she was so unhappy.Now 13, she's happy and thriving but was, and to a certain extent still is, immeasurably damaged by school. The older she gets the more apparent it becomes that the trauma is never going to really leave her. If I could go back she would never, ever have gone.

If your younger DC is struggling more, they are the one I would take out. You'll soon click into whatever key stage you are dealing with. I''m doing KS3 and 4 and never thought that would happen! Oh, and if you start with one, expect it to become two eventually. Been there, got the t shirt

I actually have 4 dc. And a job.

Part of me loves the idea of HE - but I can also see great things that school has done with DC. All the DC are vulnerable in some way... But it seems so much easier to HE a child who reads fluently compared to an energetic & random little kid.

Well yes, but compliant older children who read fluently are probably easier for everyone full stop than energetic and random little kids, aren't they? Easier to send to school, for example. Obviously I don't know the kids in question...

In the case of my children, I shudder to think how much energy it would take for school staff to keep my younger daughter "on task" in a school setting, and I hate to speculate what it would do to her self esteem to be told constantly that she needs to sit still longer and focus better when she actually can't. As you say, I myself wouldn't be able to get her to sit and focus on tasks I had given her at home either. Fortunately, outside of the school setting it isn't necessary to do that, because she can learn in other ways. So she can learn and be happy, and no one has to try to make her do things which aren't in her nature right now.

Childcare-wise, in practical terms, as far as what is easy for you, no doubt it would be easier to have the bouncy younger child off your hands. Small children often need lots of attention. That may be a deciding factor. Realistically, sometimes decisions have to be made for such reasons, and there is nothing wrong with that. But as far as actually educating them, it is not necessarily going to be any easier to educate your older child than the younger one.

sigh

So many things to think about.

Dh has offered to 'throw money' at the problem of no suitable school place for DD1 (ie pay private for 2 years until secondary). I've floated that this money combined with my childcare budget for the baby - offset by the fantastic flexibility my job offers - could add up to to being able to hire a 'nanny' with experience in primary schools, who would be competent at setting up structured educational type activities as well as doing regular nanny tasks. None of the DC need a tutor as such - they are motivated & ahead of their age in maths & reading - but they do obviously benefit from being given well pitched activities to develop their skills. Dd1 needs to prep for 11+. Ds1&2 are both under SLT - and potentially if I pulled them out of school - we could work on their speech much more.

But - BUT - I wonder if I would completely miss the point - that a good school provides not just teaching - but a cohort of peers to support & motivate you. Hence whether spending the 'emergency schooling fund' on home based support would deny DD1 the chance to blend into a great support & education network.

stress

I think you need to go back to the principles of what education is for.
What you want it to achieve.
Which is a matter of opinion.
In your situation I would conclude they are making academic progress & none of their problems are making their lives or their teachers' lives unbearable; so keep things as they are.

Other people would want much more or different things from their children's education. All of the HErs I know are idealogues in ways I can't relate to (hence why I don't HE!).

Good luck.

Well - we're moving house - so things will change! My preference would be everyone at a school within walking distance - but there comes a tipping point where I'd be better home ed-ing rather than weaving through traffic for multiple drop-offs.