Flexi schooling? Please help....

[Nodney]

I have 2 DS (5 and 20 months) and another due in June. We live in a residential area yards away from a "good" school which my DS1 attends (yr1). After a rocky start, he is now quite settled other than the odd wobble when I leave him.

I always intended on home schooling my children, but fell into the school system due to family pressure and a fear of my DS being lonely as he is a v social little boy. My DH and I are now becoming increasingly concerned about the standard of education he's receiving. His maths appears to be going backwards, and, tellingly, he describes learning as "boring". He's v interested in Space and geography and I have no trouble in engaging his interest in different things at home, he seems v quick to learn and keen too. There is a Flexi school 40 minutes away with small classes - but a 40 minute drive seems a lot! I was thinking of 2 days a week at the flexi school school. Another thing is I do sense he'd rather be at home with me and his brother as he is v attached to his family. I really wouldn't want to pull him out of the local (over subscribed) school he's currently at only to put him back in again a couple of years later if I found it too difficult to stimulate 3 boys of different ages. He had enough trouble settling when he first started

My dilemma is this: Do I leave well alone? Leave him at his primary where I've no doubt he'll do ok, have friends and be like the majority? Or do I pull him out, take responsibility for his education myself?

I know I've gone on a bit....thanks so much for reading!

Hmm, personally I feel that home schooling with a 2yr old and a newborn about will be very tough, probably almost impossible for the first few months whilst the baby is so young. What about extras outside of school, such as kumon? hed still keep his friends at school but would be getting that extra bit of a push academically. You could always review the situation in a year or so once the younger two are more managable?

Thanks Zumba, I was hoping that by the time Sept/school starts, I'd have the baby in a routine that could be worked around. But I imagine it wouldn't be easy!

Hello

If you want to homeschool then you will find a way and it will be different from to everyother home schooler's way. I know households which have just one child and a stay at home parent who can dote to their individual needs. I know families with 3 home schooled children. My own has one HE, one at school, loads of childmindees and a foster child. We have to have a tightly structured day with set times for formal study etc. It is a very busy lifestyle - but it is fantastic. I'm very jealous of those with one child who can just do as they please (money allowing), but I also love my life as it is.

Homeschool just needs a few hours close attention a day and everything else comes naturally.

Hello Maggi

Thanks for your input. I do think I could manage my newborn plus toddler and home school my DS and I'm a big fan of routines! I'm just not completely sure if I'm doing the right thing by my DS. In the main he's ok in school. His education is mediocre but he likes playing with the other children. He's a very sensitive and emotional soul and cries very easily when he's told off etc.. I don't know if its me being overly protective but I still feel like i want him with me, and i know he wants to be with me. Whether we will still be like that when he's 9 or 10 I don't know - he might not want to be taught by his mum! I'm going around in circles and am driving myself crazy! I just don't want to mess him around....

If the baby is due in June, months 2 and 3 of its life will be school holidays anyway, so you'll (presumably) have to manage all three then. If DS1 is home educated by the time the baby arrives, you can establish a routine that works for all of you from the beginning without having the fixed school day to deal with. If you deregister him now (i.e. well before the birth), you have time for the 3 of you to settle down to being together before the baby arrives.

I really wouldn't want to pull him out ... only to put him back in again a couple of years later if I found it too difficult to stimulate 3 boys of different ages. He had enough trouble settling when he first started

IME, neither of those things would be an issue (but feel free to post further to explore these statements):

• You are v unlikely not to be able to cope with them because you'll all be growing together.
• He'd be unlikely to have trouble settling if he was choosing to go to school.

Whether we will still be like that when he's 9 or 10 I don't know - he might not want to be taught by his mum!

My DS was a v sensitive young child who did not settle in groups at all. He is now 18 and is looking forward to going off to uni in Sept. He never wanted to try school but has had no problems with making friends in other groups and has done v well since going in to college last Sept for A-levels.

By the time your DS gets to 9 or 10, you'll have adapted to a mode of life and learning that works for your family. He won't be thinking about "being taught by mum". In fact, most HE parents don't "teach" in the way that teachers do and most HE familes, even when following a curriculum, do not make that great a distinction between "life" and "learning", especially with primary-aged children.

Warning: You may find this harsh, but I'm going to type it anyway - it is a common story for bright children who do not "fit" in school:
At 5, he is unlikely to be able to articulate the damage that school may be doing to his development. In fact, he is articulating it (wobbles and saying learning is boring) but he will soon learn not to do so - he will learn that he has to go to school and it is him who is different and he has to adapt to school. If you are lucky, he will do what he needs to do to succeed at school and do his real stuff outside; if you are not, he will kick off and it will look as if he cannot do the work at school, which will then apply remedies that exacerbate the problem (by giving him even more work that is below his ability).

This is long enough. Feel free to come back on anything.

I agree completely with every word of SDeuchars' post above!!

Nodney I have been through a very similar situation to you, I have sent you a message.

Thanks for taking the time to reply, everyone. I've got DS at home today making a snow man in the garden with my DH. This afternoon I'm going to do some reading and writing with him - I have no trouble motivating him at all. He ran out of school yesterday full of excitement with his friends, and I felt guilty for considering taking him away from them. That's why I'm considering the Flexi school option. The home ed scene is v quiet where I live and I want him to have some children to regularly mix with. This morning, when I said "No school today" because of the snow, I thought he was going to cry he was so pleased. But when I pick him up from school he seems so happy and excited - surely he wouldn't be if school was so bad?

Could he be happy and excited because school is finished for the day?

Thanks Chocolatecrispies - my DH pointed that out too!