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Home ed

Find advice from other parents on our Homeschool forum. You may also find our round up of the best online learning resources useful.

Are there any benefits of Primary school that HE can't usually provide?

613 replies

carolinecordery · 03/06/2012 19:52

Hello all, I haven't registered my DD for Reception, which she would be eligible to start in September.
I was just wondering if you thought there were any benefits of primary school that HE can't provide. What things are good about primary school that are only available through attending?
I'm planning to HE and am convinced of the benefits of doing so, but want a rounded picture. It's easy to think of loads of things that would be, relatively, a bit crap about primary school, but is there ANY really good reason to go? DD's non-resident dad would rather she went.
Thanks, Caroline

OP posts:
morethanpotatoprints · 04/06/2012 15:38

Can anybody tell me why my post has created links I haven't done this, honestly. Perhaps I'd better improve my I.T. skills first

HighFibreDiet · 04/06/2012 16:07

I agree most with julienoshoes and saracen's posts.

For my ds1, the only things he really misses out on at the moment are shared educational experiences such as building something with a group of his friends or doing science experiments with them. He's done far more specialist activities (like robotics) to a higher level of involvement than he would have done if he were still in school. It's just a shame that it's not always with the same group of children so he can form friendships with them. He does have home ed friends, but they aren't necessarily the same ones that he does the educational stuff with. He certainly has the sports experiences, and he would be able to do drama if he wanted to but he's not into that kind of thing.

Like someone said, and I'm not sure who it was, it depends a lot on what area you live in and what home ed stuff is organised near you (or what you can organise yourself if you decide to do it).

Some of the assumptions from people who haven't done home ed are a bit of a joke. For instance, I think ds1 is far better at coping on his own now that he has been homeschooled than he was when he was at school. And he regularly mixes with a far wider age range of children than he would have done if he were at school. And what's so bad about me doing my shopping and housework while he's around, and even getting him to do his own chores? Surely it helps him to learn what's involved in running a house?

Anyway I'm glad to hear that the OP has made up her mind and I hope this thread has helped her to answer the (inevitable) questions a bit better.

seeker · 04/06/2012 16:19

Team games

A mixed pool of potential friends that you see every day.

Learning how to deal with people(adults as well as children) you don't like and/or who don't like you but you have to rub along with.

Working in a group.

Doing stuff you don't necessarily want to because you have to- and sometimes discovering that you actually like whatever it is.

Applauding other people's achievements- even when you are eaten up with jealousy!

Sharing, accommodating, acknowledging and appreciating difference.

ouryve · 04/06/2012 16:24

My children and I like each other a lot more when we're not forced together all day every day. :D

NigellaTufnel · 04/06/2012 17:30

Bebanjo - why do you have to boast about your DD's achievements in comparison to school educated children? It's not helpful.

I just hope you are not the one teaching spelling and grammar.

SigaSiga · 04/06/2012 18:03

I think maybe Bebanjo was a bit fed up of the posts on this thread that imply that HE children never get to socialise or make long term friendships, never learn to share, never meet anyone other that their parents (or only meet with families exactly like them_ same philosophies etc.) Never get to use gym equiptment, never work in groups, never get to use science equiptment, never learn to rub shoulders with kids/adults they may not necessarily get along with....I could go on. Just a thought?

And why shouldn't she boast about her DD's achievments compared to school?
Bit low to have a dig at spelling and grammar btw.

Jinsei · 04/06/2012 18:17

And why shouldn't she boast about her DD's achievments compared to school?

Because it's irrelevant. I have friends who HE their kids, but I don't suppose it would be considered helpful if I were to come on here making unfavourable comparisons between those kids and others who are educated through the school system.Hmm

Let's face it, some HE kids are delightful, sociable, honest and well-rounded, while others are spoilt self-centred little brats. And some school-educated children are equally delightful, sociable, honest and well-rounded, while others are equally spoilt self-centred little brats. The mode of education makes little difference.

NigellaTufnel · 04/06/2012 18:17

I think that is it the defensive tone that annoyed me. As if by sharing the story of the poor child who did not know what a tarantula was is a justification for HE. And that nonsense implying that her daughter was more honest than kids who go to school? Really?!

Frankly that kind of smug attitude is one of the things that could give home ed a poor reputation. There are loads of great reasons to home ed, loads of positive reasons. If people in the home ed community present this insufferable attitude though they will come across as holier-than-thou lentil weavers.

Now, where's my hard hat?

SigaSiga · 04/06/2012 18:49

You see, you get upset at one HE poster and suddenly you are prepared to class all the home ed community all as "lentil-weavers".

If you made a similar sweeping statement against any other minority group, you could find yourself in trouble. I'm hoping this is down to pure ignorance.

I don't weave, or eat lentils. I don't throw insults around either.

Lucelulu · 04/06/2012 18:56

what a bunch of Hippocrates

....hopefully a joke under the circumstances?!

seeker · 04/06/2012 19:06

Bebebanjo is of course right to post about her dc's achievements-she is rightfully proud. But why does she have to attack other parents to do it? Calling school using parents a bunch of hypocrites is as bad as calling HE ers a bunch of lentil weavers or whatever it was.

The is an interesting debate to be had, but it can't be had if the "sides" polarise. And I do find that the HE ers get defensive- then justify the defensiveness by saying they get fed up of being judged. When nobody on the thread has judged.

NigellaTufnel · 04/06/2012 19:28

SigaSiga

That is exactly my point! Please read my post. I think that there are a lot of great reasons to home ed.

All I said was that if people adopt the kind of insufferable attitude towards school educated children that Bebanjo was expressing, then that is when home edders become tarred with the lentil weaving brush.

exoticfruits · 04/06/2012 19:29

My wish is that all families are given the knowledge that HE is a legal viable choice, so that parents can make an informed choice about what is right for their families at any given time.

I think that most people know this-they would simply hate it.

Firstly there are the threads at the moment where people are dreading the holidays-and this is just half term-not the summer!

The feminist threads show you that women want equality and they are full of the unfairness of women's careers coming second because they are the ones who fit around children and work part time-they want a high flying, full time career.

Then there are all the people who want a highly academic, selective education.

Those with the money who can afford what they think is the best.

Those like me who loved school and it makes up some of my happiest childhood members.

If people all knew I don't think that you would find a surge in HE. It wouldn't have worked for me because I have such a wide gap-10 years and to make either end fit in with the other would be unfair. The only way that you would get more is to get those who would love to do it if they could afford it.

It is the friendship thing that I feel can't be replicated. I have been a Beaver Leader, and before that a Brown Owl and yes there are superficial friendships -but not at the depth that you get in the school friendships, where they are there every day. I dare say that you can in HE groups but they all have similar backgrounds-their parents all agree with HE to start with. I like the fact that in school you get DCs from diverse background and parents with all sorts of views.

I don't like the fact that as the parent you get total control, if you don't like a child you can manipulate it so that your child sees very little of them. You know what your DC has done all day -or have a fair idea-the DC doesn't have the option of saying 'nothing' -leaving you with no idea!

I had two younger brothers-we had and have good relationships but I would have hated to have been at home with them or to have had to go out with them most of the time.

You can get the best of HE if you go to school-with all the hours left over.

I am not intending to say school is better-it isn't for some people-just that the idea that lots of people would jump at it if they knew it was an option is false. I knew and it would be a very last resort for me, if all else failed. My DSs knew it was an option-and not one they wished to take.

I once had a class discussion in school and a child made the statement that school was compulsory and so I explained that it wasn't-they all thought this was fantastic and then I told them that education wasn't optional-just the school and they could be educated at home -and they were most disappointed as they contemplated the fact it made no difference to them.

NigellaTufnel · 04/06/2012 19:29

Which is of course wrong!

exoticfruits · 04/06/2012 19:47

It was right-most knew that there was no way their parents would HE-they worked full time. Most loved school really anyway.

Jinsei · 04/06/2012 19:55

I agree exotic, I am well aware that HE is an option, and although I think it is a valid one for those that choose to do it, it certainly isn't an option that I would choose for my dc.

exoticfruits · 04/06/2012 19:57

I think that most people do-I have never met any adults that don't.
Read the feminist sections and they don't even want a year out of work!

wolvesdidit · 04/06/2012 21:55

There are probably other people who would love to HE and cannot afford it.

julienoshoes · 04/06/2012 21:59

As I said
My wish is that all families are given the knowledge that HE is a legal viable choice, so that parents can make an informed choice about what is right for their families at any given time.

you've stated that it isn't your choice, and I respect that.

I know that many people have no idea that it is a legal viable option though, both from the questions that are asked of me but people incredulous that children don't have to go to school. It's not what the LAs want people to think. You have only to look at the informationlies on their websites to know that!
Also I know because I have desperate families talking to me thrilled to finally find out that there is an alternative to school for their desperately unhappy children. They are also furious to find this choice has been hidden from them all this time!

exoticfruits · 04/06/2012 22:01

I mentioned them in my list wolves - I said they were the group that would add to the number if they could. I expect there are plenty, but not being able to work full time for 13 years is a big sacrifice- if not impossible.

exoticfruits · 04/06/2012 22:03

I can only speak personally and everyone that I know is fully aware of their rights.

exoticfruits · 04/06/2012 22:07

You only have to go on the Gov Direct Site about educating your DC and you will find it here
It isn't a secret!

julienoshoes · 04/06/2012 22:08

It may be there exoticfruits, and you may know about it, it doesn't mean that everyone knows about it.

But as a home educator, I'm bound to have different experiences from you aren't I?

exoticfruits · 04/06/2012 22:11

The site covers just about everything here
The only thing that I have found missing is that all schools are Christian- they ought to post it because that is the one thing parents don't understand.

TheOriginalSteamingNit · 04/06/2012 22:11

Christmas performances
Sports day
School trips with your friends
Play time
Drama
Class assemblies

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