Is this weird?

[Blossom1818]

Im a single parent to 2 dcs age 18 and 16 living in a 3 bed house. All 3 bedrooms are quite small, 2 are just big enough for double beds and the 3rd is a box room.

16 yo son (now 6ft 2) is currently in the smallest room in a loft bed with gaming desk below. He is now too big for it and im trying to come up with solutions . One idea I had was to put a single day bed in there and make it into a sort of chill out room/bedroom for me. I dont need the space in the bedroom as I only go up there to sleep while dcs spend a lot of time in their rooms.

Ive mentioned this to a friend and my mum and they think its odd that I would sleep in a single bed and let my 16 year old have my double. Im happy to give up the space for him given how big he is. Is this a completely weird setup?

No it's not. I would most likely do the same.

No not at all of it's what works. It might be hard for yiu to go back to a single from a double though
What about the European size beds from ikea or a small double like they have in uni halls?
No separate dining room downstairs to be an office type space? Or option of a garden shed/pod with electricity

Making best use of the different spaces you have is practical not weird. Thinking the parent MUST have the biggest room is what’s weird. I only sleep in my bedroom too.

Not at all weird. You have a house. Your son has a room. But have a proper bed

If he is 6ft 2, you don't really have a choice-you don't want him to start every day off with cramp and end up with back problems.

I would do exactly what you are proposing.

It seems an obvious choice especially if you’re significantly shorter and lighter than your DS. In your situation is absolutely do the same

Not weird at all, don't bother about what your friend says, it's not like it's up to her where you sleep

That sounds like a very sensible arrangement. Ignore your friend and your mum

I would not have the smallest room. The parent should have the biggest room.

Needs must.

It wouldn’t bother me having a single bed/room.

Based on what unknown rule exactly?

What if they don’t want it?
OP my dad did the same when my brother and I were teens (parents split, we lived with my dad). He took the smallest room so that we could both have the decent sized ones. Like you, he only slept in the room whereas as teens we used ours for homework/chilling/having friends round etc. I don’t think he’s ever regretted it and he got his choice of the 3 rooms when we moved out!

I gave my now 19yo son the biggest room when we moved to our current home, as he spends far more time in his room than I do and just has more stuff. So long as I’ve got space for a bed and a bit of clothes storage, I’m good.

It’s not weird it’s kind and thoughtful. If you have no need of a dedicated boudoir where you host salons and ‘at homes’ why would you not give the space to the person who needs it more?

My house is the same, I have 2 dc ages 19 and 21, dd1’s room just fits a double bed, dd2’s only just fits a single bed, dd2 has SEN’s and I feel awful that she has a tiny room but I know if she had a bigger room it would be a total mess. I don’t think I could give up my bedroom as it’s my safe haven, dd2 takes up a lot of my time and needs a lot of care, when I finally go to bed I need to feel relaxed and comfortable, I don’t think I could sleep in a single bed.

Sounds like a plan to me. I love the idea of having a day bed to retreat to. I'd have a shelf with chocolates, a book and the radio and you'd mostly find me lounging.

I would take the smallest room too

Personally.

The OP isn’t offering you the smallest room though, she’s asking what she should do. You can have whatever room you want in your house!

I would 100% do what you've proposed. Teens spend way more time in their room and need stuff like desks to study at. If I was a single mum I'd love the idea of a small room with a day bed tbh but then I've always loved tiny spaces and squeezing myself into little corners 😂

Ignore your 'friend' unless she wants to buy you a bigger house!

your son is physically a lot bigger than you & does a lot more in his room than you do in yours. It's just a practical & living option. I'd fo it no problem.

My cousin still lives 'at home' in her 30's (her & her Dad, her mum died quite a few years ago) she still sleeps in a cabin bed because she has her own business which has machinery & she needs the floor space. She's over 6ft & broad, so I'm sure you don't coukd manage. But why naje him 'manage' if there's a better option?

turn tge snsliest room into a lively space for you & give him your room.

Personally I'd buy a decent single bed. But a day bed is fine with a proper mattress.

I think it’s a great idea. My mum gave me her room when I was the same age and having people over. It was really kind and I really appreciated it. Made a huge difference.

If it was a 5yr old then yeah maybe a bit weird but no one else's business as long as you're happy with it but a strapping 6'2" lad? No its not weird, and still nobody else's business as long as you're happy with it!

@Blossom1818 what would be weird is doing what you think other people would approve of, when they don’t live in your house. The sensible thing is to sort out the rooms in the best way for you and your family. There are no other considerations or rules.

Sensible solution , not weird at all but get a comfortable single or even a small double if it will fit , I’ve yet to find a very comfortable day bed