Baby & 10 year old sharing a room?

[1sttimeboveymum]

I’m pregnant with a daughter who is due in November and currently live in a 2 bed house with my partner.

He has a 10 year old son who stays with us over the holidays and every other weekend.

We aren’t in a position to move to a larger house and the baby will be sleeping in our room for atleast the first 6 months.

My question is do you think it’s okay for them to share further down the line/ for 3-5 more years as he isn’t living with us all the time? He doesn’t seem fussed about sharing a room and the room is very large so we could potentially put a false wall up or divider if necessary?

My shared a bed room from when one was 2 and the other was 15. Needs must.

Yes that’s what im thinking. Just could do with finding a way to make it work for the next 2 years or so to give us time to prepare to buy somewhere bigger

Sorry I don’t understand your message?

do you mean ask him to come less or that he will want to come less if he has to share? He currently shares a room with his younger half sibling at his mum’s

We’re planning on putting a false wall up by the time the 10 year old is 12 so they both have privacy and their own space. Just wondered if anyone had dome anything similar but maybe using something other than a false wall.

To be honest we thought we would be in a position to sell the house and buy somewhere else but circumstances have changed and now we’re looking at ways we can make this house work for a couple of years before we buy somewhere bigger

We did consider it but at the time we were hoping to have moved by now but circumstances have changed and we need to find a way to make this house work, hence why I was asking about a false wall or anything that would provide a similar level of privacy

I am stunned you even asked this.. and at those saying it’s fine. Sibling abuse is the unspoken horror of many families. Your only option is girl sleeps with you and dad sleeps with son at stay overs. She sleeps in half brothers room when he is away. Or you and dad have her with you- it’s tough if it’s inconvenient- you made you bed.

Even with a false wall?

Your dd can share your room until she's 18 months or so (mine did, and we have room for her but she was such a night waker it was easier).

That gives you November + 18 months to save up and move house. 22 months.

There's just no excuse to make your stepson share a room with the baby

@Simonjt

What on earth are you on about? Did you mean to quote someone else?

I said

"No WAY would I allow an unrelated older boy to be sharing a bedroom with a little girl. Terrible idea."

I never mentioned brothers!

!

Is that not just as bad with the lack of privacy for the older child?

I don’t appreciate your tone or lack of understanding of the situation. At the time we were hoping to have moved to a bigger house. I want to put up a false wall but wanted to see what it other options there were for separating the room and giving each privacy

The two children will be half siblings so not unrelated.

But either way. It's a horrific plan and a false wall won't cut it, imo.

They have to move to a 3-bedroom place.

Some small 3-bedroom properties, in a cheaper area, might not be much more expensive than what they're in

No I didn’t mean to quote someone else, I looked back and no one has had mentioned an unrelated boy sharing with anyone, so either you don’t consider brothera family, or maybe you’ve misread someones post?

No, baby/child needs to be with you at weekends.
Congratulations!

Put the ds in your room and you and your dh sleep in the living room during the time he stays with you.

It was thought about but at the time we thought we would have been in a position to buy somewhere else but circumstances have changed and we need a couple more years to save in order to pay all the fees related to buying somewhere else.

just wondered if anyone had put up a false wall or divided the room in similar circumstances

this

He’ll get woken up constantly! I know they’ll be in with you for the first six months, but it takes years before they’re good sleepers! My goodness it was like musical beds when our children were under 4. The disruption (aside from the inappropriateness of it all) will leave him exhausted.

That’s why we’re considering a false wall. My maternity policy has recently changed meaning my income will be much lower during Mat leave than we budgeted for therefore meaning we won’t be able to save anything until I return to work post Mat pay and then it will most likely be another year before we can move anywhere.

He’s still family and related to my partner and would be a half sibling to my daughter?

I just want advice on whether false walls would work or whether there is another way I can separate the room so they both have space and privacy until we can buy somewhere bigger

Please don't try to fob everybody off with the the false wall thing as your solution. It's not a good situation and you need to fix it properly.

could you explain why a false wall wouldn’t work? We live next to a 3 bed but the 2nd and 3rd bedroom are smaller than either of our rooms?

I’m not trying to fob it off. I’m trying to look for advice as our circumstances have changed since being pregnant and we don’t have the means to buy somewhere bigger for a couple of years. Why would a false wall not be a solution? Surely that’s no different to them having separate rooms?

Yes the false wall hate is odd, I know lots and lots of families with this set up, and they’re regularly promoted to posters who can’t magic a bigger home up.

It might be ok if you properly plaster in a full wall and turn it into two rooms - in the photo someone posted upthread with the bunkbeds, it was a partially divided room, and there's a place you can stand and see both beds. I thought that was what you meant by a false wall.

Your dss will want to concentrate on homework, play video games, stay up, have friends round etc. Your dd will be listening to Peppa pig, playing on a toy piano, crying in the night and having toilet training accidents.

They can't share a partially divided room.