dd invited with her best friend, to stay with best friend's relatives at their home for 10 days. Would you offer money to the rellies?

[mumonthenet]

They're in their own home, the rellies, and were going to have dd's friend alone, then decided to invite dd too. Their own children are grown up, so I guess dd is useful in that she's company for friend.

The invitation mentioned paying her own flight and spending money, now I'm panicking should I have offered a contribution to the housekeeping?

thanks stayfrosty, maybe panic is the wrong word

yes, they have gone. She took the usual box of chocs for the hostess, I kind of think that's enough but then maybe I should have offered some grocery cash too, before they went.

DD and friend are coming back alone so I won't see the rellies. Oh well, I won't lose sleep over it!

Wow lucky DD and lucky you. Make sure she sends them a card/letter (not email) when she gets back to say thank you so they know its appreciated - or you could both write one

You paid for a flight and spending money, I wouldn't worry about food. They would have expected to pay for that when they offered.

I'd second the "thank you" card, but reckon that your dd's ability to keep her friend occupied will far outweigh the cost of feeding her.

Yes - DD was invited out for the day with a friend last week and the mum assured me I was doing her a favour, not the other way round!

this happened to us recently - I gave a contribution equivalent to what we would have spent on the child during a week away bearing in mind eating out, ice creams, entrance costs to places etc etc. I think you should at least offer to contribute - they may say no!

But she's taking her own spending money so I'm assuming the rellies aren't planning to pay for everything for her when they're out and about? How old is DD?

I think the suggestion that she write and thank them is an excellent one - old fashioned good manners go a long way IME. You could call her and suggest she buy some flowers (if she's old enough) the day before she leaves for her host as well?

mmm good ideas thanks

She's 14.

She did ask me on the phone yesterday if she should buy a little gift before she leaves. I said yes, and I think i'll tell her flowers is a good idea.

Yes she has spending money.

And yes, she will write a proper thank you card when she gets home!