Utterly bloody terrified of flying next week - please help me get some perspective by Wednesday

[JustMadeMuffins]

I am due to fly for about 10 hours next week with DS (4), to stay with friends.

I really want to catch up with said friends, and I think the experience will ultimately do me good. But I am so petrified - irrationally so - of the whole flying experience. The minute I booked the tickets, I had "nervous tummy". I'm anxious about keeping DS entertained during the flight, about trying to check in with DS potentially running off, about crashing (I did say it's a big, irrational fear), and I don't like the overstimulating busyness and time pressure of airports, the feeling of take-off, etc. Combined altogether, it's one BIG, overwhelming fear.

But I've booked up nonetheless; I figure I have to just get on with it - and I need to hold it together for DS's sake. So does anyone have any tips for finding flying calm by Wednesday?

Thank you.

I would say valium, but that is not overly practical with a child to look after.

have you ever flown before, is it the fear of the unknown getting to you??

I have flown before, yes. Haven't done a flight this long since my late teens, and never flown for more than about 90 minutes with DS, and that was with at least another adult to share the responsibility with. In fact, this'll be the first time I've been solely responsible for the paperwork side of things and DS. So there are a fair few firsts I suppose, with this trip.

From talking with friends, I've realised to my surprise that many of them seem to not particularly like flying either. I need to get from irrationally fearing it, to just calmly tolerating something I don't much enjoy. A panic attack on Wednesday would be no help at all!

Thanks for responding, psycho.

tis ok......irrational fear of flying is quite normal!

I have the absolute opposite. the few times I have flown I am like a kid on xmas morning, sitting by the window giving a running commentry (sp?) on what is below.

driving on motorways tho....I am scared and panicky about that!!!

can you go to the docs to ask if there is anything that you could take that is safe with children being in your care??

or herbal stuff??

ooh,Bachs rescue remedy might be handy, and that is easy to find in most supermarkets. I find that helps me calm down.

My sympathies JMM. I have been a very nervous (by nervous I mean crying on take off and anything that remotely resembles turbulence) for a about five years now. I was fine but had some very bad experiences. Nervous passengers don't get better with time they get worse and it eventually rubs off on people that they are travelling with as well.
I did a 'Fear of Flying' course this year and it did help some. Well at least it answered a lot of my 'plane crashing, flying in bad weather' questions.
My fear worsened after having my dd and I really think the extra stress of a child at the airport adds to it. You need to keep yourself as calm as possible before even getting on the plane. Bring some new books and small toys in your hand luggage that your ds hasn't seen before, this will keep him entained more than a favourite toy.
What are you most afraid of?

Thanks, psycho and Veronica. Oh to be like you, psycho - I'll try the "think Christmas morning" tack.

I have Rescue Remedy, and some magnesium too, which is supposed to be good for keeping calm.

We're all packed, and DS has a backpack full of new activity and sticker books, a couple of DVDs and our DVD player with spare battery, stories on my iPod, two new toys, etc. I am Prepared with a capital "P".

What am I most afraid of? Hmm. Checking in and him running off from the queue and having to leave the bags, then get in a pickle, etc. I've never done the process of checking in and handling the paperwork on my own before, so I'm nervous about getting it wrong and not understanding things/getting a bollocking, at the same time as trying to keep an eye on and amuse DS. I'm worried the connecting flights won't synch up. I HATE that thrust-into-the-back-of-one's-seat feeling during take-off. I'm nervous that, having not seen these friends for years, we may not hit it off - that the anticipation won't match the reality - and we'll be kind of stuck there. I'm nervous about leaving my family and support network so far behind. It feels such a big deal to me, even though I realise many people do this kind of thing regularly and standing on their heads.

I am being ridiculously negative, I realise that. It's irrational.

I think I'll start dosing up on Rescue Remedy now! And I'll get some sleep: being up late worrying about it is sure to not be helping.

Interesting, psycho, your mentioning motorway driving. I do driving-on-motorways almost in too much of a blaze fashion.

I was smiling the other day, when taking DS and a friend swimming, at how we can each be afraid of something that someone else loves or is comepletely at ease with: DS loved the flumes but didn't want to go under the waterspray and have it splash his face; his friend couldn't get enough of the waterspray but was too afraid to go on the flumes.

Flying is an exciting, fun-filled adventure for some and a dreaded ordeal for others. One man's something-or-other ... you know the line. Sleep!

you sleep and think happy thoughts on how exciting it all is

and maybe think about tying DS to you while you do the check-ins....!

LOL psycho.

Exciting, exciting, exciting ...

JMM - you've been given some great advice already and I do hope you are feeling more calm (and rested) today . Just a tip regarding check-in. I put my DS (4) up on the counter whilst I handle the paperwork. Means he cannot run off and he's semi-involved in the whole process - making him happier too .

BTW, psychomum - I have same fear of motorways. DH is in awe of the lengths I go to avoid driving on them. Every time we go anywhere involving motorway routes, he eagerly anticipates my presenting him with my "alternative" route and a myriad of reasons why its so much better!

I used to put mine up on the counter for check in when small. Or use reins. Or will he be good and stand still if he's told to 'guard mummy's trolley' or something?

It's the queuing bit, regarding check-in: I think he'll be fine when we actually get to the counter, and he likes seeing the cases go onto the conveyor belts. I remember going to France last year with XP and DS, and having to queue for ages to check-in, and that's when we needed two of us: one to man the bags and hold the place in the queue, and one to wander off for a bit with DS and keep him entertained. I am armed with activities, so I can perch him up on the cases on the trolley and hand him my DS (a treat!) or something similar.

psycho, I've been thinking "Exciting!" all day today and I think it is helping. Thanks. Not better rested yet though, so need to turn attention to that next - erm, about now! Night.

exciting exciting.

enjoy

tis like xmas morning!!!