Is it normal for toddlers to behave worse on holiday?

[PeachOP]

I've just come back from a one month stay with family in a beach location with a 2 and 3 year old and I am feeling really deflated. My usually well behaved children have been absolutely feral the entire time. Everything has been a battle, they have been rude, tantrums and constant whining every day. I'm just exhausted. It is the first proper holiday they have had so I guess I was quite excited. it normal for kids this age to act up on holiday or is it just mine?! I'm so exhausted that I never want to go anywhere ever again! Do I need to lower my expectations?

Yes. More so if you change their routine, sleep and meal times.
It gets better around age 5

Yes! It's annoying but really normal. They're probably not sleeping as well as usual, eating strange food, out of their normal routines.

Absolutely. I still enjoyed the time but I only had one child. We played a lot of things by the ear, let routines go and tried to anticipate a hangry and tired toddler and always had food available and stuck to some form of naps.

It does get better.

Yup.

New people to test boundaries with.

New environment unsettles them.

Most people find a week away with kids this age is hard.

You’re a hero trying for a month!

Even my completely laid back ds who never had a temper tantrum in his life wouldn’t sleep well or eat well when away and wasn’t his usual self. I don’t think he focussed and anything I said to him would just go over his head and as if he didn’t even hear me!

Yes, ours usually shared a room on holiday, which they didn't at home, so they either got over excited or wound each other up. They didn't sleep properly, their routine was disrupted, what everyone else has said really!

Yes this is so normal. Holidays mess with sleep, food and routine so toddlers fall apart. What's the first thing you did when you got home?

Yes - and they almost always settle down just in time to come home. You do need to lower your expectations - holidays with small children are not really a holiday, just a different location! It does get better, but I think you were brave taking them away for a month.

Thanks everyone, it's nice to hear that it's normal and that I haven't completely failed as a parent. I found it particularly hard as their dad wasnt with me so even though I had family around the children always wanted me. Ah well, a shorter trip next year I think!

You definitely haven't failed—it’s completely normal! Kids naturally cling to their primary comfort zone when they’re away from home, so them wanting you 24/7 just proves how safe and secure they feel with you, even if it leaves you completely exhausted.Are you thinking of trying a weekend getaway next time instead, or giving it a break for a bit until they're a little older?

Absolutely normal. When we took toddler dc on the long holiday to see family, I took about 20 boxes of the favourite pasta and also always served dinner at dinner time.

Always be one step ahead of them re feeding, drinking, naps and bedtime. Just be organised so that they don’t get hungry, thirsty, tired etc. If any one else says “oh, can’t they just …” I would say “no, we are doing x” and take no shit.

And you were away for a month. Don’t overlook how much they missed their dad.

Now you are home, things might not settle back to how you were. You can’t overlook the little brain development connections. We took dd away aged nearly 4. Had been taking herself for a midnight wee for some weeks. We gave her 11 changes of toilet in 4 weeks. (I went back and counted). She didn’t do a midnight wee on her own until she was over 10. Sometimes she would wake me. Sometimes I would find her roaming the house unaware and unable to find the toilet. Sometimes I would be up anyway and she would appear in front of me. I needed to lead her to the toilet and lead her back to bed. We strongly disrupted that connection creation in her brain. She got there on her own in the end.

I went away with a friend and her 3-4 y/o and it was such hard work. He was too young to do anything independently, no clubs. He is a joy but required for inexplicable reasons to be carried around the food court area, very hard when trying to actually get food, only ate chips and wanted ice cream for breakfast, lunch and dinner. We just did everything he wanted as it was easier.

Bless his (big now) socks.