Daughter alone in Paris after falling out with friend on holiday

[Bollard]

My DD is in Paris with her friend. They are only there for a couple of days. They have fallen out and the friend has ditched her. DD is in the hotel room, wanting to come home. She doesn't feel confident going around Pars on her own and feels the trip is ruined. Any ideas for anything she could do alone, any group thing she could join? She might feel able to do something in the day, but I don't like the thought of her being out alone at night. I don't know Paris at all. She's staying centrally.

I love Citymapper, it's definitely the best app for public transport, even in my home area (not a city).

It did blot its copybook with the walking route it devised for us in Bilbao though, which sent me along a dual carriageway with no pavement with the DC, arriving in the service bay of a colossal shopping centre with no way out. Fortunately there was a maintenance guy out the back having a fag. He was unsurprisingly surprised to encounter us, and kindly opened this MASSIVE two storey door in the wall, on the other side of which was the shiny consumer paradise of the shopping mall, with our hotel on the other side of the road.

Does it say how long the friend has been out? Might only be a couple of hours and she's sightseeing herself..

I don't like the sound of any of this especially after mentioning the group of boys approaching her. It's absolutely ridiculous they are fighting & falling out when on a trip to an unfamiliar city. I hope there wasn't drink Involved & the friend returned to the hotel. They are too immature to be travelling.

Shakespeare and Co English bookshop opposite Notre Dame is lovely, if a bit crowded nowadays (sometimes there are queues to go in!) Sometimes they have events and readings, and it's in a lovely little green space of its own with views of the cathedral. Both quintessentially Parisian and Anglophone, possibly a good place to get chatting with people.

She could get the hop on hop off bus - great way to see the city but also a great way to get around from place to place without using the metro, taxis and normal buses - we did this in Rome plus she can book the tickets on her phone before she goes. She can also download Get Your Guide this will give her things to do - she will be able to book them before the event then as well and might find people in a similar situation on their own then as well

What did they fall out over

Surely the other girl is also alone in Paris why is she more prepared and able than your daughter

It's a city like many many others it's fine and fun to explore tell her to keep her phone on her with tracking and explore it make friends with her pal and stop stressing you out

Have you reached out to the other mum her daughter is literally missing in Paris by what you have said

I hope she had a good day today and managed to get out and about.

Lots to learn from this but she should also be proud of her achievement. I bet you’re looking forward to seeing her tomorrow.

sounds like everything makes her uncomfortable

Lots of advice already - I’ve not read whole thread but one thing is in Paris don’t use Uber, use the official G7 taxis. We found them very good and not overly expensive, they’ve got an app but we also just picked one up at a rank when DH got tired walking. They have G7 very obviously on them.

Agree with this.
I don’t understand the “she/he is an adult now” the week someone turns 18. I have met very few teenagers who are actual functioning adults at 18, and it’s also very dependent on where and how the teenager has been living up to that point. If you have grown up in London or another large city then it probably won’t be too much of a shift, but for my teenage dd, being alone in Paris would be really stressful as we live rurally and she has very little experience of cities. I was in the same situation as the op’s dd at 19, thankfully just for an afternoon, and I was very anxious even though I was living in a smallish city at the time. I had terrible harassment from men, although I do think that has improved as my oldest dd (20) was there recently and didn’t experience anything like the hassle I had at a similar age.
It’s a big shock to the system navigating a foreign city alone when you have agreed to go with a friend. I would be worried if this was my dd.
I had a day and night alone in NY when I was older, around 30, and that was fine as I was living in London and very city savvy by then.

What a spiteful thing to say about a teenage girl, alone and anxious.

How is she missing??? She left. That doesn't make her missing.
She's an adult and OP shouldn't go telling on her to her mother and causing all sorts of panic.

Such a shame they fell out but think of the confidence boost this’ll give your DD, exploring a new city on her own. My DD had the same thing happen when she was a similar age and as a result now often chooses to travel alone so she can visit the places she fancies without having to stop for selfie after selfie. Hope your DD has a lovely time!

Book a guided tour with viator or get my guide

Agree - plenty of posters here imagining that the op’s dd should really be exactly like they are almost certainly misremembering they were age 18.

Being unexpectedly abandoned in a completely strange city where you don’t fully speak the language (a-level French is - and I speak from experience - not speaking the language) is going to be a big deal for most just-out-of-sixth-formers - and for many adults too. The heightened emotion of the argument, which was clearly serious enough to cause this dramatic response by the dd’s friend, will also be exacerbating the stress. And perhaps this friend is somewhat manipulative and aware that being left alone will hit the dd where it hurts.

We are not all the same. Children mature at different rates - some 18 year olds were 17 a minute ago.

And some of us are constitutionally bolder than others. At the very least, if you don’t have the imagination to understand what anxiety feels like, have the grace to be grateful for that fact, twats.

I speak as someone who survived various scary situations with sang froid (lol -
theme) and came out with some excellent anecdotes. When I look back, after lots of therapy, I see a dangerously risk-happy damaged child who had never experienced a real sense of safety, and didn’t believe they were worthy of same.

The only thing I didn't like about the metro was the ticketing system. It's fine to use.

My ds recently had an argument with a friend on holiday, they "made up" and completed the holiday. But ds has ended the friendship and cut ties now and is happy not to see the guy again.

How is sending a quick text to check the other mother is up to speed 'telling on' anyone?

Has the other girl come back yet? I presume she has, but best to make sure IMO.

If (as seems likely) she just went out by herself for the day, that’s one thing, but I’d be kind of worried if she didn’t come back by evening. Just how bad was this disagreement?

I have met very few teenagers who are actual functioning adults at 18

I would add to what @MabelAnderson said that those who do seem to be functioning adults at that age have almost always been forced to be so by circumstance - usually unstable or emotionally unreliable upbringings.

it is absolutely not the badge of honour that many posters seem to think.

This information would have me worried. And I definitely would contact the friend's mother just to ensure she's safe and to enquire what your daughter should do with the friend's "stuff". How can you be certain that the friend has been in touch with her mother? What would you want to happen were it your daughter who did the bunk?

I agree with this, she can very likely walk to the Louvre.

I am quite conservative with safety issues, but walked about Paris on my age a lot at her age. I wouldn't be too worried about this if she stays reasonably central - Louvre, Tuileries, Musee d'Orsay, then back through the 6th arrondissement for shopping or to the Luxembourg Gardens. All of this should be fine OP.

I wouldn't personally advise going out at night alone, and a trip to the Eiffel Tower is honestly overrated: you can see it lit up from almost anywhere in Paris and it does get a bit rowdy at Trocadero at times. Lots of pickpockets.

A boat trip is a really good idea as it is organised and safe.

That depends if she’s now back. Potentially from about 10 am. OP hasn’t updated

Get her to download Citymapper onto her phone. It gives you every single transport connection (including walking) from A to B in real time and makes public transport an absolute doddle.

When did she last see her friend?
Depending on how long I would contact the mum. You know that your dd is safe, you don’t know if the friend is.