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Holidays

Use our Travel forum for recommendations on everything from day trips to the best family-friendly holiday destinations.

Original poster

Husband wanted holiday for himself

76 replies

Taffy8567 · 26/07/2023 19:12

Keep it brief, DH, DD early teen & I on Holiday.

husband wanted holiday so he can proceed to sunbathe all day (it’s very hot) and just sleep after evening meal.

I would much rather be at home. Day 2 of 7, hurrah!

OP posts:
Sandra1984 · 26/07/2023 20:47

suggestions: Have a margarita, get a pedicure then go and flirt with the pool boy. If he’s gay im sure there’s other options around but that’s just me.

Cheeseandlobster · 26/07/2023 20:57

HalloumiLuvver · 26/07/2023 19:35

Quite. I'm currently playing the world's smallest violin for OP.

Are you joined at the hip to your husband? Utterly dependent on him? No? So you can CHOOSE to go do something! Leave him on his lounger and go have some fun for you (DD can choose to stay or go with you).

I've never let anyone stop me doing something I want to do.

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This. Its a holiday for both of you. Stop bloody moaning and wasting it. Decide what you would like to do then go and do it. Let your dh have his idea of a good time and you have yours

TizerorFizz · 26/07/2023 21:00

It’s a bit sad not to enjoy a family holiday together. However books and sewing can be taken with you. I guess it’s too hot to do
much anyway!

I’m with @GrumpyPanda Go North! See the world. I would also take DC on city breaks. Start doing more with Dc. Let DH sleep.

justanothermummma · 26/07/2023 21:01

I'd take a holiday over this rain! Can we swap?

Original poster
Taffy8567 · 26/07/2023 21:24

Shouldn’t a holiday be about spending time together though? What’s the point in going abroad to spend all evening sat on phones/reading/ignoring each other.

OP posts:
UrsulaIsMyQueen · 26/07/2023 21:26

Taffy8567 · 26/07/2023 21:24

Shouldn’t a holiday be about spending time together though? What’s the point in going abroad to spend all evening sat on phones/reading/ignoring each other.

He obviously just has different expectations from a holiday than you. You can’t make him want to do the things you want to do, and vice versa. Shame, but it sounds like you’ve been together a while so this can’t be the first sign that you enjoy different things?

Cheeseandlobster · 26/07/2023 21:33

Taffy8567 · 26/07/2023 21:24

Shouldn’t a holiday be about spending time together though? What’s the point in going abroad to spend all evening sat on phones/reading/ignoring each other.

Could you make sure you all have protected time together. For example by making sure you have a lazy breakfast and dinner together every night at a different restaurant where you chat about your respective days? If you spend all your time together then one of you at least will end up feeling resentful

TizerorFizz · 26/07/2023 21:45

@Taffy8567 In my family, yes. However we started to have adventure holidays and go further afield late primary/early secondary. We had down time relaxing, but not all day, every day. So look at an alternative holiday. Either every other year or in half terms. Split up what you do for holidays into different activities. Sleeping for him and something more active for you and DC but try and get DH engaged in it. Beach and safari. City and beach. Countywide and beach might be combinations that work. Places like Costa Rica might be good for you. South Africa is also wonderful. Consider experiences over lolling. What interests your Dc? Ours liked wildlife and meeting other dc on family adventure holidays. Better than just sitting with a phone!

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 26/07/2023 21:51

As someone with two young dc and a dh who wants to "do everything!!!" this sounds fucking bliss.

Books, sun lounger, multiple mai tais and afternoon naps. I'd ignore the pair of them and just rest in the sunshine

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 26/07/2023 21:52

Taffy8567 · 26/07/2023 21:24

Shouldn’t a holiday be about spending time together though? What’s the point in going abroad to spend all evening sat on phones/reading/ignoring each other.

Nah, I see enough of them all day in day out.

arethereanyleftatall · 26/07/2023 21:57

Depends.
You might actually just be really knackered and want to do nothing even though you still like each other.
Or you might not actually like each other any more. Relationships can run their course and that's fine.

Beaverbridge · 26/07/2023 22:02

Sounds good to me, sleeping in the sun. Go and do u your own thing. Nice walk. You don't nerd to hang about constantly.

CoffeeRevelsForever · 26/07/2023 22:08

You can sew, draw and watch comedy on holiday though?

Ihaventgottimeforthis · 26/07/2023 22:11

Do us a drawing of your view from your hotel balcony.

You can get some quite good smartphone sketching apps.
If it's good enough for David Hockney...

Dotcheck · 26/07/2023 22:15

AlligatorPsychopath · 26/07/2023 19:58

What exactly is stopping you studying, drawing, sewing, or watching comedy? Or going for a walk in the late evening/early morning?

Presumably having a kid to plan for while her lazy husband pleases himself?

toomuchlaundry · 26/07/2023 22:24

I’ve taken sewing on holiday before. Can you go on a trip whilst there, hire bikes (or are you in heatwave area)? What did you discuss before you booked holiday?

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 26/07/2023 22:25

Taffy8567 · 26/07/2023 21:24

Shouldn’t a holiday be about spending time together though? What’s the point in going abroad to spend all evening sat on phones/reading/ignoring each other.

I agree. I would be annoyed to be totally ignored I'd rather go on holiday with my friends. Is there are bar at the hotel or locally you can get dressed up and head out? That will get your DH's attention 😂😂

I would refuse to go away with either of them again unless you have a chat about what communicating will be like. Or only do couples holidays with friends etc

HalloumiLuvver · 26/07/2023 22:29

Taffy8567 · 26/07/2023 21:24

Shouldn’t a holiday be about spending time together though? What’s the point in going abroad to spend all evening sat on phones/reading/ignoring each other.

I've been married over 20 years and over half of that, we've both worked from home. I'm happy to just see him at dinner Grin

AlligatorPsychopath · 26/07/2023 22:37

Dotcheck · 26/07/2023 22:15

Presumably having a kid to plan for while her lazy husband pleases himself?

Show quote history

One teenager. Who doesn't need escorted to soft play or watched in the pool. Of course OP can do some sewing or sketching or studying. OP could go out all day if she wants; the teenager can mind herself for a few hours and then check in with the DH.

TizerorFizz · 26/07/2023 23:11

I think the op wants the family to do things together. Explore together. Find a nice lunch spot. She doesn’t really want to feel alone. My DH ran his own business but holidays meant a chance to travel and see something special. We agreed we had seen some of the best beaches in the world, so wanted more variety. We both wanted to see more of the world than a beach or pool: nice though they are for a couple of days! The op needs more ideas for a family holiday which demands a bit more engagement than sleep.

UrsulaIsMyQueen · 27/07/2023 08:44

I’m sure she does want to do things together, but her husband doesn’t appear to want the same thing. Just like he can’t force her to sunbathe and sleep all week, she can’t force him to do the things he doesn’t want to do. So the best thing to do is make the best of the situation and find things to do that she enjoys.

TizerorFizz · 27/07/2023 08:53

And then have that big chat about future holidays and why she’s married a boring man who is selfish and not family oriented.

UrsulaIsMyQueen · 27/07/2023 09:22

TizerorFizz · 27/07/2023 08:53

And then have that big chat about future holidays and why she’s married a boring man who is selfish and not family oriented.

They’ve got a teenage child so she must have known he was selfish and not family oriented before this holiday, unless he’s behaving completely out of character this week.

FoodieToo · 27/07/2023 14:27

GiddyGladys · 26/07/2023 19:37

Someone earlier complained about the nearby beach on her sunny holiday in Crete. I hope she sets up a go fund me.

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You have misrepresented this poster . She had to abandon her original holiday in Rhodes due to wildfires and had no time to research her new option.
The beach was poor , air con not working and she had two teens with her .

Dotcheck · 27/07/2023 15:14

AlligatorPsychopath · 26/07/2023 22:37

One teenager. Who doesn't need escorted to soft play or watched in the pool. Of course OP can do some sewing or sketching or studying. OP could go out all day if she wants; the teenager can mind herself for a few hours and then check in with the DH.

Show quote history

Teenagers go to soft play?
And how much time can an early teen spend in the pool? Of course OP would have to plan things to do

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