Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Holidays

Use our Travel forum for recommendations on everything from day trips to the best family-friendly holiday destinations.

Original poster

I lied to school about children sickness and went on holiday

407 replies

kgabe · 31/10/2022 11:43

So before anyone decides to go hard on me, I have never ever lied about kids sickness before. I don't know why I did it this time, I guess money is tight, we worked hard to be able to afford the holiday, but still could not afford the holiday in half term, so we decided to take kids out of school for 3 days. I reported my children to have sickness. And off we went.
But unsure why, probably based on their hunch, school called me the next day. I did not answer, just sent them a message instead. But they replied they got an international ringing tone....ooops... i did not even reply to that. When we got back I got a letter suggesting I lied, that kids were on holiday instead of home poorly, etc. I don't know what to do, I hate lying and I regret not telling the truth, but has it gone too far now to just admit I lied? I can also expect the fine for my children, well tough I suppose. But I feel like a criminal, like I did something unspeakable. But I only allowed for my family to have a wonderful time together, we has such a great time, it is really priceless. My kids are both doing great academically and their abscence was above 95%. What is everyone's take on it? Should I own up now? Or deny it still.... And are they allowed to question my children without my permission about it?
Thank you

OP posts:
NCHammer2022 · 31/10/2022 13:14

You lied, these are the consequences. You should have just said you were taking them out and paid the fine. It was unreasonable to expect your children to lie too, which is what you’ve done. Persecuted is a bit much though, get a grip.

EmJay19 · 31/10/2022 13:15

School being passive aggressive about the ring tone I reckon. I’d prob fess up and apologise if you’re comfortable paying the fine, if you’d rather not don’t.

Schools need to realise this is necessary for a lot of families to be able to get away together. I know a lot of school more than happy to turn a blind eye or playfully call the request forms ‘naughty forms’. No need for them to start playing detective

MichaelFabricantWig · 31/10/2022 13:15

I wouldn’t engage with them. Really what are they going to do? The worst that’ll happen either way surely whether you fess up or style it out is a fine for taking them out of school.

MayFlower22 · 31/10/2022 13:15

You don't get fined for three days so no need to lie.

Hollypups · 31/10/2022 13:15

I’d say I was away for work abroad and then you went on holiday when term starts.

I wouldn’t be bothered about the school at all. Out of all the things to worry about in life this wouldn’t be one of them.

Soontobe60 · 31/10/2022 13:16

kgabe · 31/10/2022 13:06

My children did not know we were going on holiday until the day were flying. The got up as normal for school and we told them then. I told my children they could talk about their holiday, no problem, but if they were asked about when they went, I told them to tell teacher to speak to mummy or daddy. Well, I am not very good at lying myself and the karma got me, it doesn't make it any better, but I have never asked my children to lie, just me and my husband... :(

Show quote history

This makes it worse! You’re expecting your children to cover for you!
Just fill in the holiday form and that’ll be the end of it.

FamilyTreeBuilder · 31/10/2022 13:16

Just the first random holiday destination that popped into my head @kgabe !! But come on, first day back after half term and the teacher is asking the class what they all did - did you really think your 4/5 year old would remember that they were supposed to have stayed at home?

Soontobe60 · 31/10/2022 13:20

EmJay19 · 31/10/2022 13:15

School being passive aggressive about the ring tone I reckon. I’d prob fess up and apologise if you’re comfortable paying the fine, if you’d rather not don’t.

Schools need to realise this is necessary for a lot of families to be able to get away together. I know a lot of school more than happy to turn a blind eye or playfully call the request forms ‘naughty forms’. No need for them to start playing detective

No need to lie to school though. Lots of schools, mine included, wouldn’t be too fussed about a few days tagged onto a half term for a holiday. What they do object to is parents lying and then expecting their children to lie,

StripeyClocksDontWorkBetter · 31/10/2022 13:21

Op I totally get why you did this. Please don't be too hard on yourself and don't let it spoil memories of what seems to have been a wonderful holiday.

I'd own up otherwise you'll just stress yourself for ages over this. Also, if you keep the lie going you'd have to prep your children on what to say and I don't think that's fair on them or healthy for them.

Just call the school and own up. Apologise. Maybe they will waive the fine out of good will (though I think it's not up to them but the local council, but not sure).

ThanksItHasPockets · 31/10/2022 13:21

You would be unlucky to be fined but it’s perfectly possible. Remember that each parent will usually be issued a FPN for each child, although if your Reception child is not yet of compulsory school age you might dodge this in their case.

FleecyMcFleeceFace · 31/10/2022 13:22

Deny, deny, deny. They got an international dialling tone? How odd. The kids say they were in Spain? How interesting. Are you still questioning me? Do I need a solicitor?

Just do like every recent prime minister and refuse to answer. When asked direct questions, deflect with your own narrative. Were you in Spain? I have already told you where I was last week. But were you in Spain? I refer you to my previous answer.

I hope you had a great holiday!

Lulanna · 31/10/2022 13:23

Schools and local authorities are under increasing pressure from the Department of Education to address low attendance ( without any extra funding from the government to carry any of this out, I hasten to add).
New guidance from September 2022, to be legislation from September 2023.

assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/government/uploads/system/uploads/attachment_data/file/1073591/School_attendance_guidance_May-2022.pdf

NerrSnerr · 31/10/2022 13:24

Just own up and say you went away. You'll feel like a plonker for lying but lesson learned.

You now know it's better to be upfront, especially when you're involving your children in your lies!

Wife2b · 31/10/2022 13:25

Say the children were cared for by a relative and you were on holiday. Not like they can prove it.

Basilandparsleyandmint · 31/10/2022 13:25

i work in a school. Children usually tell school staff they are going on holiday. I suspect it filtered back to the school office and then you called them In sick. So they rang to check the next day.
An international dialling tone is a dead give away.
people do it all the time - in fact I had one family do it at my place of work at end of term, claiming food poisoning.
I really would not worry OP, they have to send a suspected holiday letter it’s procedure.
It would be highly unusual for the children to be questioned. I doubt you will receive a fine for 3 days.
just next time be honest, your worry over this isn’t worth the lies.

NerrSnerr · 31/10/2022 13:27

Wife2b · 31/10/2022 13:25

Say the children were cared for by a relative and you were on holiday. Not like they can prove it.

And expect the children to lie again or drop the OP in it even more if they've already said what they did over the holiday.

QuizzlyBears · 31/10/2022 13:27

You lied and you need to deal with the consequences. Just hold your hands up and learn the lesson, you can’t change it now. If you carry on lying then it’s going to get worse and you’ll be more worried.

As a side note, reception? So you took your child out within the first few weeks of their schooling for a holiday?

tirednewmumm · 31/10/2022 13:28

I mean 🤷🏻‍♀️ isn't this the risk you take? We do it too (in primary) and I think you're being a bit dramatic for what surely must have been a foreseeable consequence? If you lie and take them out you might fined. They're supposed to check everyday it's safeguarding good practise. Then they got the dial tone so sent a letter. Don't make a meal out of it just wait for your fine in the post

Roselilly36 · 31/10/2022 13:29

I would have just told the truth, the fines are only applicable if your child loses 10 sessions of learning, so 5 days missed. Someone must have said something to school, my kids would have definitely have dropped me in it!

MichaelFabricantWig · 31/10/2022 13:31

I wouldn’t be bothered about the school at all. Out of all the things to worry about in life this wouldn’t be one of them

well quite. It’s only a bloody school. They don’t own you and you don’t need to answer to them. They’re hardly likely to throw the kids out for 3 days unauthorised absence.

AquaticSewingMachine · 31/10/2022 13:31

Oh, stop being so bloody melodramatic. You lied, you got caught, you knew it was a risk when you decided to do it, end of story. Fess up and just tell the school straight when you decide to take them out for holiday in future and factor paying the fine into your decision, or else don't do it again. You are not oppressed and this is not a big deal.

Hoppinggreen · 31/10/2022 13:32

Would you be ok with The school lying to you?

IamtheDevilsAvocado · 31/10/2022 13:34

JustMaggie · 31/10/2022 12:24

I'm American and call my family often. Ring tone sounds the same 🤷‍♀️

Not for europe

user29 · 31/10/2022 13:39

you could say yes we were on holiday DC got sick and it delayed your return by 3 days
or better yet just ignore

iloveeverykindofcat · 31/10/2022 13:39

Just do like every recent prime minister and refuse to answer.
Is that really who we want to be emulating though?