I lied to school about children sickness and went on holiday

[kgabe]

So before anyone decides to go hard on me, I have never ever lied about kids sickness before. I don't know why I did it this time, I guess money is tight, we worked hard to be able to afford the holiday, but still could not afford the holiday in half term, so we decided to take kids out of school for 3 days. I reported my children to have sickness. And off we went.
But unsure why, probably based on their hunch, school called me the next day. I did not answer, just sent them a message instead. But they replied they got an international ringing tone....ooops... i did not even reply to that. When we got back I got a letter suggesting I lied, that kids were on holiday instead of home poorly, etc. I don't know what to do, I hate lying and I regret not telling the truth, but has it gone too far now to just admit I lied? I can also expect the fine for my children, well tough I suppose. But I feel like a criminal, like I did something unspeakable. But I only allowed for my family to have a wonderful time together, we has such a great time, it is really priceless. My kids are both doing great academically and their abscence was above 95%. What is everyone's take on it? Should I own up now? Or deny it still.... And are they allowed to question my children without my permission about it?
Thank you

Oh dear OP this isn't a big deal. Before you could get a fine and it's just a maybe it has to be more than 4 days on holiday so the school wouldn't do anything.

What letter did you get? Perhaps your over thinking it. I took DS out out school for 8 days I told the school...up until now im waiting for the fine but have not recieved anything.

lulanna yep it was guidance. Like I said.. schools have lost the moral high ground. They can no longer send out letters saying every day of education counts.. some children got no education for weeks, months.. some children have still not returned. It was a major cluster fnck. Schools were open but mostly there was no education..

Personally, I wouldn't lie to the school, and would now admit it. They probably called you on the second day because you are supposed to call in for each day of absence. And if they suspect you lied, they have to follow it up. It's one of those things where if you fess up and come clean, it's not really a big deal, but if you double down and continue to lie, and it all comes out, it could make it awkward with the school.

If your younger child is in reception, you've got a long time to be dealing with the school, too- and that will be difficult if the school feel they can't really trust what you are saying.

It doesn’t matter about ‘losing the moral high ground’, they will be following the new guidance and legislation as the DfE are insisting. We are already working towards meeting the guidance and also have to evidence this to OFSTED.

Senior Leaders in local authorities are held to account for attendance in all schools ( independent, academies, free, special) .

Schools also followed national DfE guidance during the pandemic.

Should have just told them and filled in a holiday form like we did. They can fine us if they like, we'll still quids in over what the week after cost!

I would have been honest and priced in the fine. Just own it. Glad you had a good holiday.

what an aggressive reply! You’re also a cf telling her what to do for her future holiday bookings. You know nothing about her or her circumstances. There are ways of giving your opinion and this isn’t it.

What you could say is you where away exploring the opportunity of living abroad in x destination as you feel this would be a life changing opportunity for them.

Then you could remind them it was only the last three days of school which would be academic in one abroad and there is no essential or legal requirements that children have to attend a school facility within the UK all else fails tell them you will take it to the school liaison team . 😊💫

Just admit it and apologise. Give your reasons. Doesn’t look good to involve your children in a lie, school will know.
ex headteacher here- it happens frequently

Who would move there child and family to Egypt where the sun always shine’s and there a recreational facilities such as swimming, horse riding , sports after all if it is good enough in Sharm for G20 then why don’t we explore a little the “city of peace”

This was my first thought too!

This varies from area to area. In ours it’s 10 sessions / 5 days of unauthorised absence in a rolling 6 month period. So may depend what other absence they’ve already had.

I worked as an attendance officer at school before and trust me we always know lol But having said that we only would chase up the ones with a pattern of poor attendance , if a child generally has great attendance, no one really cares. I don’t blame you for taking those days off , 3 days equals 6 sessions according to the register so you can be fined . However they can’t prove it so just deny it .
I know lying isn’t good - but sometimes you have to. It’s double the cost going on a semi decent holiday during the holidays and who can afford that ? We certainly can’t and we have good jobs . There’s not much left after the mortgage and monthly outgoings . So why should you be penalised?!

This was meant to be in reply to someone saying they wouldn’t fine you for 3 days absence…

Things like this use to really stress me out as I’m really socially awkward.

Now I try and have the mindset: If it won’t matter in 5 years time don’t worry about it now.
You took your kids on holiday, you had a nice time. Don’t let the school taint it. They’ve had it all before, you’re not the first and you won’t be the last. 😊😊

I understand your frustration but teaching staff also cannot take holidays in the cheaper periods. Essentially you are asking your children to lie, or put them in a very awkward position in school. I would come clean, you’ve not hurt anyone just maybe didn’t have a plan. Schools take attendance v seriously and they have too for many reasons but I’m sure honestly even at this late stage, is the best option!

Legally your reception child doesn’t even need to be in school so they can’t fine you for them. I’d just take the £180 fine for the eldest and move on, it’s not that big a deal don’t worry. I work in schools and a kid with 95%+ attendance missing the 3 days before half term isn’t going to make a big difference at all.

I’m a teacher who has taken my kids out of school in term time on occasion. Just deny and stop beating yourself up about it - it’s really not that big a deal.

Why can't the UK be like France where they stagger the half-terms in stages, A, B and C for different regions.

All this actually means is that school holiday prices are charged for 4 weeks at Feb and Easter, rather than 2. A huge win for the tourism industry. As a result, we have kids going skiing fairly regularly in term time outside of the four week holiday block etc.
The major difference is that I haven’t seen an attendance stat since I started teaching here, no one is reported unless absence becomes really significant, and so the kids and families tell us quite openly that they’re off on holiday. We just refuse to make any effort to get their work to them. They have to sort out catching up themselves. (Some CF parents still try it on though, like for a 3 week term time trip to Mexico. No we won’t email all our lessons for that time…)

Oh yes there is. Many parents get caught out in this way.

You could just say thanks for the letter, please let me know how you wish to proceed. Or you could say they were feeling under the weather as all had as big so you went on holiday to recoup. Or just say yeah I lied.

Please please don't feel bad about this. The amount of compliant yes police on this forum has driven me to reply. It's school for goodness sake, a few days off that will no doubt be of so much benefit to your kids. You could just say to the kids if it all comes out.that sometimes we all make mistakes and mum made one this time nit being totally honest. It is no big deal at all and I actually like your style getting them away somewhere. The people pulling you up on here probably scolded anyone who didn't sit in front of the queen's funeral on TV for 24 hours wearing a mock crown.

Good for you, hope you all had a well deserved break from the nonsense our kids are forced to endure for hours every day 5 days a week. Hugs to you.

I work in a school, it was probably a generic letter they sent out. Don't take it personally, they were probably just following procedure. We have parents that tell us about holidays and it just goes down as unauthorised absence. If it was only 3 days and your children have good attendance usually I'm sure nothing else will happen. Children always tell us about holidays and days off 😆 I don't think you need to do anything about it now.

Other kids will tell the school. I'm a teacher, when I check the register and say, 'Oh, so-and-so's poorly' other children say, 'No they're not, they're on holiday'
Own up to the school. A fine is unlikely. But don't lie to them again.

OP personally I wouldn't lie any more if I were you. You don't seem comfortable with the prospect. If you think your reasons are so honourable tell the truth. Kids will slip up naturally, it was a chance you took when you lied to the school.
True in the grand scheme of things it is inconsequential; in the same vein, you are accountable. Most parents want their children to have amazing holidays / memories etc, given the current economic climate. Please don't complain if the year 6 child has missed out on homework or certain lesson plans as it's unfair on the already overworked, over stretched teaching staff.

School office here. Don't sweat it, you won't be fined for 3 days. We just need to account for all of the children and their attendance codes. It's not a big deal. Unless the children in question have very bad attendance we're really not that bothered.

But anyone thinking of doing this please credit us with some intelligence and tell the truth. We always know when people have gone away, far better just to tell the school you're going then you're not making the kids lie (they won't btw, they'll drop you right in it ) and you won't have to feel guilty.