I lied to school about children sickness and went on holiday

[kgabe]

So before anyone decides to go hard on me, I have never ever lied about kids sickness before. I don't know why I did it this time, I guess money is tight, we worked hard to be able to afford the holiday, but still could not afford the holiday in half term, so we decided to take kids out of school for 3 days. I reported my children to have sickness. And off we went.
But unsure why, probably based on their hunch, school called me the next day. I did not answer, just sent them a message instead. But they replied they got an international ringing tone....ooops... i did not even reply to that. When we got back I got a letter suggesting I lied, that kids were on holiday instead of home poorly, etc. I don't know what to do, I hate lying and I regret not telling the truth, but has it gone too far now to just admit I lied? I can also expect the fine for my children, well tough I suppose. But I feel like a criminal, like I did something unspeakable. But I only allowed for my family to have a wonderful time together, we has such a great time, it is really priceless. My kids are both doing great academically and their abscence was above 95%. What is everyone's take on it? Should I own up now? Or deny it still.... And are they allowed to question my children without my permission about it?
Thank you

I don’t think there is. Whether it’s coded G (unauthorised holiday) or O (unauthorised absence) it’s all unauthorised for the purpose of calculating attendance. But give it’s less than 5 days it’s unlikely further action will be taken.

You lied, they know you've lied. Just make some more shite up. Commit to it.

That's so ott and so what if there was an international dial tone, I travel with work as many people do, I wouldn't appreciate this. I wouldn't admit to anything personally. We can't do this as my husband is a teacher but I so would if it wasn't for his work. When we were kids in primary school we had 2 holidays a year, we had 10 days away in June (outside of half term) and 3 weeks in August. This was never an issue back then and we all went on to get top grades. Quality family time together is invaluable.

Schools were closed on and off for two years for COVID because children were advertised as super spreaders. If you recall pubs and other businesses opened before schools which still amazes me. Going to a school is essential, going to a pub is not...
Schools have lost the moral high ground on attendance.

Why can't the UK be like France where they stagger the half-terms in stages, A, B and C for different regions

@BleuNoir , we live close to the boundaries of three boroughs. At one point, I worked (in school) in borough A, DD went to school in borough B and DS went to school in borough C. One year DS had a different October half term to myself and DD so we didn’t have our usual holiday that year.

It seems easy to forget that people who work in school have absolutely NO CHOICE about holidaying outside of term time even when, like me now, their children are grown and no longer in school.

Your main problem is that you have lost some credibility with the school. I really don't know why you didn't just fill in the holiday form and accept the fine or unauthorised absence. Anyway it was a mistake and they called you out on it. I would just fill in the holiday request form that they have asked for and say no more about it. The worst that can happen is you are fined.

Fudgeball123
Schools were open throughout to some students. The government made the decisions on when schools reopened fully to all students. I am not sure why covid is an excuse to lie to the school and take your kids off on a cheap holiday to Spain though.

There is definitely a different ring tone when you call someone abroad.
Its how we knew our old headteacher was having a job interview abroad when a member of staff called in sick and heard it.

Just because you were away when they called doesn't mean that your children were. Parents have to go away without their children all the time.
Personally I would brazen it out!

Really:? If I call a member of my family when they are abroad I get a completely different ringtone.

I wonder why they called you, have they not anything better to do?

Fill the form and relax.

I couldn’t ever lie about my children being unwell. It’s tempting fate.

G will just get you a fine

Enough O's and you can get a fast track to prosecution

I would respond to their message if it asks a question.

Reply by email and be honest. If you want to make a brief apology and say you realise you chose the wrong action, feel you can do it. There is no need to grovel and they won’t be rubbing your nose in it. The matter will quickly be dealt with.

At this stage, you can keep lying or just recognise you’ve been under out, admit it and own it and move on.

This won’t be something people at school dwell on or is a huge thing to them. People flatter themselves if they think schools haven’t got more stuff to worry about. However,t here are procedures and they are following them.

If I were you, I’d admit what’s happened by email in quite a matter of fact way. If there’s a a fine, just pay it. There might not be and it’s might just go down as an unauthorised absence. And move on. Don’t dwell on it yourself, especially in terms of being angry you’ve been caugh or in terms of trying to justify it to yourself.

They aren’t persecuting you. They have followed their procedures that they are required to follow. It’s you knowing you’d dine something wrong and c being annoyed at being caught that makes you feel persecuted and the shifting some ‘fault’ towards them for the way they are handling it. Don’t go there. Just own up, and move on. We’ve all done things we shouldn’t. Sometimes you do get away with it and sometimes you don’t and then it’s best to just come clean and move on.

No doubt some people will say brave it out. You could do that. In the end there will be no court case and evidence to prove you lied, although clearly school knows. They’d respect you more for simply owning up to it. you’ll probably feel better about it too.Some of them will certainly understand why you did it, but the rues is the rules.

Own up, move on. Done.

Wow, they’re only little.

I took mine out for a week every year at that age. But this was 10+ years ago when the rules weren’t so strict and all you had to do was tell the school.

If this puts you in a position where the kids will have to lie, you’ll just have to fess up instead.

have you told your children to lie
that is so sad
and unnecessary.

They will survive I am sure

I wouldn’t dig a deeper hole tbh. If you have posted photos on social media or your kids have, told friends. School haven’t just guessed they obviously know the truth.

I’m simply amazed at the number of people who say they’d continue lying and making up stuff about being abroad separately with the kids-especially as it’s just such an unbelievable fib. If you don’t agree with the school policy then decide what you want to do-and if that means taking them out and dealing with any consequences then do that-but don’t tell stupid fibs about it.

I was a very conscientious parent then had a few things with life that meant I was overwhelmed with full time work and 4 children over 3 schools. I failed to do loads of things including sick notes and all sorts of messages and letters went ignored. I found out that nothing much happens. The schools would phone me at the end of term and reel off dates saying can I put that as sick as we are doing our report. I realised quite a lot of parents don’t follow the rules, lots of the parents at our schools don’t speak English and don’t realise loads of things, others like me just struggling. My advice is to just ignore.

Ignore the letter. Stick to your story, they can’t prove anything.

Yes, not school staff but local authority truancy officers. This was before covid - maybe there’s no budget for this any more! She did say it was awful though - asked to step out of the queue and answer questions when they didn’t have a permission letter from school.

I’d happily lie because A.) I don’t give a shit what they think and I don’t want a stupid revenue-generating fine, and B.) I know they equally don’t give a shit, but have to follow the ludicrous hard-like approach urged by councils.

I’d just deadpan repeat my lie, knowing they can’t really do anything and really don’t care anyway.

So many unnecessarily obedient women on this thread.

If you don't give a shit what they think just tell the truth. They can't fine for 3 days anyway so there's no point in lying.

Not schools, they don't make the rules.
Central government, Department for Education direct them and make the rules.

As I said above, new guidance from Sept 2022 and from Sept 2023 statutory legislation.

assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/government/uploads/system/uploads/attachment_data/file/1073591/School_attendance_guidance_May-2022.pdf