Dear holiday cottage user,
Thanks for the advice. I found it useful as a check list to make sure we had it all covered.
Here’s some advice for property users. 95% of guests are delightful to have but the following helpful advice is also from experience.
For the love of god, let us know if you have smashed crockery or glassware so that it can be properly replaced. We don’t mind. Accidents happen. Don’t just throw it away without wrapping it up properly. Broken stuff is a safety hazard.
Use the dish washer and tablets provided please thank you instead of putting greasy pans and crocks back in the cupboards.
Don’t steal towels or pillows and pretend you didn’t know they weren’t yours. And don’t promise to post them back and then forget to do that too.
Please don’t take the cottage towels, bbq and corkscrew to the beach and leave them there.
Don’t block the shower and then ignore the flooded bathroom and subsequent wet hall carpet.
Don’t smoke in the property. Don’t ignore the polite requests not to smoke. Don’t pretend you aren’t smoking when you are. Don’t light the fire and keep it burning all day and night just because you want to mask the smell of weed.
Please don’t change your baby’s nappy on the sofa without a protective mat to catch the runny fall out.
Please don’t put your dirty suitcases on the white bed linen.
Don’t leave children alone in the property while you go out for a meal.
Don’t invite your friends and family to come and stay for a few nights with you while you are at the property. It invalidates the insurance.
Please do feel free to use the many slate coasters dotted around the property to protect polished surfaces from your hot coffee mugs and wet beer mugs/beer bottles. If you fancy slate coasters for your own home, you can buy them locally. They aren’t give-aways.
Dragging mattresses off the beds into another room or into the garden really isn’t good. Neither is using the sofa and chair cushions on the floor to sleep on.
Please read the instructions about sorting rubbish. It’s horrible sorting dirty nappies from cigarette ends and from old bread and plate scrapings and dirty packaging, and beer cans still half full.
Please don’t leave the outdoor cushions out in the rain. They will be wet for you the next day and we don’t have room to store extra dry ones you request because you forgot to bring them in.
Please don’t block the toilet with sanitary products. Use the bin right next to the loo instead. It couldn’t be easier.
Please don’t arrive early and expect access when the property isn’t ready yet.
And can you please make sure you know when you are expected to leave as it’s uncomfortable having to remind you that’s it 11am and cleaning should have stated an hour ago when you haven’t even got up yet.
Please empty the fridge instead of leaving your unrecognisable, stinking, week old, festering food for somebody else to sort. No we don’t want it ourselves thanks and neither will it be useful for the next guests.
Please read the careful instructions for getting to the property. If you phone us late at night and don’t know where you are, it’s not easy to help you find the property without coming out to look for you.
Please make sure you check under the beds for stray belongings instead of phoning up when you get home and expecting somebody to post it back to you. Your favourite red thong is already in the bin and gone from the property. As are your husbands socks.
If you want to be kind and sweep up the crumbs and spilled breakfast cereal and stray lego, would it be possible please to use a dustpan instead of lifting the rug right up and sweeping it all underneath.
Thanks.