visiting a friend and her family for the weekend - stay with the family or at a nearby hotel?

[bossykate]

yet another area of disagreement for dh & I!

kind friend is easy either way - we are very welcome but she will not be offended if we stay nearby instead of chez elle.

the advantage of staying in a hotel is that we will have a bit more space and independence (plan to spend rest of time other than sleeping and having breakfast with friend and family anyway), but dh feels we will be less relaxed in the evenings - no sitting about drinking wine together with children in bed.

as the veteran of many a self-catering holiday with other families - without any fallings out - i've always thought staying with another family on their home ground would be quite hard going.

over to you o wise mnetters!

tia

How many nights - one of two?

sorry, one or two?!!

quick response, thanks! two.

Are you visiting this particular friend who has offered to have you stay, or other people?

We often visit friends at thier homes, and they come here, for weeknds. We always stay over at their homes with no problems. The evenings, whent he children go to bedm are great with lots of wine and old time chat.

I'd stay with the friend, but plan to take them out to lunch and get a takeaway for at least one evening meal, so she's not running around doing things for you all the time.

hulababy - this particular friend only. agree the evenings would be easier if we stayed there.

kerrymum - in all honesty i wouldn't like another family staying with us at the moment - but we don't have a spare room though or any real capacity to put anyone up right now. next year we plan to have a loft conversion and if we had that i'd feel differently.

oranges - this is all about me, me, me - not lightening the load on my friend! would obviously take her out, bring flowers etc whichever option we chose

any other views? tia

I'd stay with the friend. The children will enjoy it more - but do what we always do and divide and conquer: first exhaust them then put them to bed in separate bedrooms and bring them together only when they're asleep. Mean, boring mummy I know, spoiling all their fun, but I've had too many stays at friends (or more often people to stay with us) when we're entertaining the little angels at ten pm because they're completely over-excited.

furzella, they will each be sharing a room with one of the children in the family - i can easily see them still being up at 10.00pm...

this is how it will work. dh and i on sofa-bed in living room. dd shares with friend's dd and ds shares with friend's ds.

Hmm, sofa bed for two nights...not ideal, but then I still think you'll probably have more fun if you stay with them. You'll just be blooming glad to get home too! Divide and conquer can still work. First split the younger ones between the two dcs' bedrooms and chuck the big ones in front of a sedate movie, then shift them together as soon as they're asleep. Next split the older dcs by your one in older dcs bedroom and their dc in their parents' bed. This will work if they're all under seven. Shouldn't think you've got a hope with much bigger ones!!

I think I'd stay at your friends' house. Then you can put the kids to bed and have a nice adult evening downstairs. If you stay elsewhere you're a bit limited really.
2 nights is the maximum I would stay with friends though

and the kids will love the whole sleepover thing

thank you!

any more? there must be someone who agrees with me that hotel would be best or can at least see the advantages?

the hotel idea would be fab if the dcs can stay with your friend
When my sister and family come I insist she and BIL sleep in a nearby hotel and her kids stay with ours. That way they get a bit of a holiday (lie in etc) and the kids all have a great time.

lucyj, i think you are a genius!

Yep, that person is me bossykate

I was thinking hotel even before you mentioned the sofabed.

If you take up LucyJones idea, you could invite the other family to lunch/early supper at the hotel one day?

ok!

so what are the persuasive arguments for the hotel against the compelling wine altogether in the evenings with sleepover to boot argument!

Normally we would go for the hotel option but that is when we are away for more than 2 nights. That is for my sanity though, I am not very good at socialising .

There is a saying "guests and fish go off and starts to stink after more than 2 days in your house" .

thank you all

delightful though it sounds, don't think it would be fair to let my kind friend have the kids while we stayed at the hotel. besides it would be a bit of a waste the way things are with my marriage atm. i had planned an adult meal together at the hotel (which has a michelin star btw) on the friday night.

argument that will persuade your dh bk? Only you will know that

I would stay at the hotel rather than sofa bed. Its always a bit awkward staying in someones living room. You cant say im off to bed now, you just have to wait for them to go up to bed.