Mozhe IS NOT going back to work next week after all......

[mozhe]

.....no, have decided to delay it by a week or so......Mr Mozhe is on 'incubator watching' duties....P-in-L's are manning the home front,( and DSsX3...), with nice new aupair....and Mozhe,Nanny and DTs are off to St Barts,( in lovely Carribean...),for a week's sun/swim/chill out !!
Any one been before ? Any pointers ? Off first thing tomorrow......

I could probably be shot as a bad mother too. I had ds at 28 weeks and was very ill myself. I was still in intensive care for a week after he was born. I was taken to SCBU every day by the nurses, but couldn't see his face due to his jaundice lamp eye protection and the ventilator. I began to hate it - and hate myself fo feeling like that. I stayed in hospital for a couple of weeks after the birth and used a breast pump every 3 hours to feed him, but when I went to SCBU I felt totally useless and didn't want to be there. After I finally got to go home I had to get a taxi in every day to sit beside his incubator. I was exhausted. I hadn't properly recovered from my surgery or the birth and wanted to sleep more than anything - I didn't want to be sitting in an overheated room staring at a tiny person in a box who I felt didn't care whether I was there or not. I went because I was expected to.

He was in for 2 months and it was only in the week running up to him coming home when I was beginning to breast feed properly that I really began to feel like a mother at all. The rest of it was for show and because the nurses at the hospital kept saying that I should be there. I really resented it.

I love my ds more than anything in the world. We bonded strongly and immediately as soon as I was able to really be a mother to him. He had grommets put in a few months ago and I was distraught when he was put to sleep. It made me think about all of the worse procedures he had when he was tiny that I hadn't felt much about at all. It makes me so sad to think of it.

I would not have stayed away from the hospital for long - and wouldn't have gone very far, but I wanted to at times and I honestly believe that no one should judge.

My inital reaction to the OP was shock and disapproval, but I had to think back to how I felt and maybe she's just less sensitive to other people's expectations than I was. I wouldn't have dreamed of going on holiday, but I would have gladly gone home and slept for a week!

I'm sorry if that makes me a bad person too.

oh for fucks sake , leave the poor woman alone. Why the hell CANT she go on holiday?

why are you lot so judgemental and fish-wifey like?
you are all so desperate to try and prove what amazing mothers you are, why dont you stop judging the OP?

I am sure that logically and practically there are lots of reasons to justify Mozhe going on holiday and leaving her baby in SCBU.

He's in good hands, and her other children will enjoy the holiday.

I am sure (and hope that) a lovely time will be had by all, and the baby will be fine.

But emotionally it just seems all wrong to me.

(And I could never afford a holiday in St Barts, but if I could, I still wouldn't go in these circs).

Assuming that the op is indeed for real,I would like to make the following comments.

Custy-totally agree.

It is likely Tristan will be in SCBU for many weeks with little parental contact/kangaroo care as per the French system.He is too young and under-developed to miss his Mother.He is in the best place with regards to care-if anything goes wrong,there is little Mozhe could do about it whether she was there or not.

She has 5 other kids to think about and their emotional wellbeing/attachment and the chance to spend some quality time with them.

I personally do not think I could do it but then I only have one dd and had pfb syndrome-after 5 I/one may feel very different.

It all comes down to choice in the end and if Mohze is happy with her decision then good luck to her-she and her other children will benefit-am not convinced Tristan will suffer....

Again,not something I would do but then again I wouldn't breastfeed past 12mts,use elimination communication,give her a dummy or give her juice in a bottle....all about choice.

And if she is indeed a hairy arsed trucker from Swindon-the wind up worked!

i have five and wer e similar to befall me next time i could absolutely not do this
my child is my child no matter where they come in the running

What a nasty thread.
Mozhe has other children who need her just as much if not more tha baby.
It is up to her.
Have a great time.

What a nasty thread.
Mozhe has other children who need her just as much if not more tha baby.
It is up to her.
Have a great time.

Yes, but the teenagers can shout louder and sulk and stuff.

kelly all mohzes children are between 4 or 5 and newborn

Um, I don't think they are teenagers, not if she is still breastfeeding one of them!

agree with Doublebluff

6 children under 6 I'd need several YEARS in the cari farkin bean!

I imagine you must be in severe shock after giving birth in this way.

I do not think that either jetting off to the carribean or going back to work are normal reactions to this stressful situation and I think you should seek medical advice and support.

Is your baby still under 2lb in weight? Is it not possible that he could be in mortal danger, ok let's not mince words, isn't it possible that he might die whilst you are away? Are you not running away from dealing with this?

The reactions on here are not about jealousy of your financial circumstances mozhe and I don't believe that you are really looking for advice on what colour flip flops you should be wearing over there with your original post.

Well, I don't think either the nanny or the aupair or any of her colleagues actually carried and gave birth to the children, did they?

You're all barking fucking mad. Mozhe is a figment of somebody's imagination. LMFAO.

Ok, I give up. I'm going now. Bye-dee.bye.

Well, I suppose in an existential way we're ALL figments of our imagination

In my imagination I definitely have a clenaer, cook, nanny, and am going on holiday to the Caribbean to stay in a friends pad for free with first class flights paid for by my relatives

Wow. OK, I did not say that. I have already said that I would not have taken the same decision on her position. I ^intimated* that I would find 6 children an awful lot to deal with. You implied that because Mozhe has staff, she should be under no pressure at all.

Quite frankly, your post:

"So are you saying that every pregnant woman NEEDS a weeks holidays after giving birth just because they carried a baby for 9 months!

Except it was barely 5 in this instance."

is disgusting. She had the baby 4 months earlier. Oh well, she won't need as much rest then.

This has to be a wind up - is it the Steve bloke, who was behind JF? Wasn#t he a pyschiatrist too?
I think it was the waterski comment that convinced me that we have got ourselves worked up by a troll.

Crikey. This thread is everything about Mumsnet that has been dull, predictable and shite recently.

Some really awful stuff on here. Agree with custy et al.