Not sure it is ethical to say the name of the place that you shouldn't say on a website but the place we were booked into and ended up having to stay the first night was the filthiest place I have ever stayed in my life!!
Had a late night the night before driving down there and DP went straight to sleep when we got there and I sat up trying to watch the Marathon (hard on a TV from at least 1970!!) and looked around the shit hole of a room that they had given us!!
First noticed that every corner of the ceiling had a spider in it but one along with countless webs and mummified flies inhabiting those webs!!!! Then realised that the carpet was supposed to be dark blue and the brown was actually dog hairs AAAARRRRGGGGHHHH!!!!! - They were everywhere - even in the bed, on the bed side table - so I started sobbing and looking around a bit closer - the dusky peach lampshades on the bedside lights were actually bright orange - the duskiness achieved by a thick layer of dust and dog hairs, the bathroom had a collection of dirt and other peoples pubes stuck around it - behind the toilet (which IMO is the best way of telling if somewhere is clean) was thick with dust, pubes and dead insects and general stuff that you would only find in my house if you were to empty the hoover out!!), the view out of the window was nice if you looked up but looking down you realised that the collection of mould and dead insects on the window sill were a bit yuck and you had to be super careful drawing the curtains as not to pull them down!!
DP woke up to me with huge bright red face saying 'No its ok I am sure it will be ok - we will just have to make the best of it' - I am a super woos but hate him knowing it - he was really good about everything though - went and got a hoover from the cupboard next door - had to plug it in in the hall as a dog had chewed the plug socket in our room and they had not done a very safe job sticking it all back together with black rubber tape!! - he hoovered everywhere but carpet refused to come clean!!
We then walked round porlock trying to find somewhere else to stay - found beautiful little B&B called 'The Cottage' (very much recommended to be clean and fresh and lovely and had lovely huge power shower too!!) but they could not have us until the next night so we had to stay in shitsville for a night - I drank 2 glasses of wine and a Baileys (sorry Max) and still ended up spending the night awake and tearful staring at the spiders and itching!!
Ventured into ladies cloakroom - which I have to say was probably dirtier than the WCs on Eltham High Street and that is saying something - and this was inside a guest house!!
Next morning packed and down to breakfast - had to swap seats with DP and make him sit under the spider that was hanging from the ceiling and change plates and bowls twicwe with other tables to try and find one that was actually clean whilst not looking around at the various piles of dust and dirt hanging around the place.
Told woman that we would not be staying for the next 3 nights as we had booked and paid for them as I was allergic to dogs and in my condition obviously could not overdose on antihistamines - she got all shirty saying that they would only refund us for 2 nights and that it says in the websites and in all brochires that they allow pets there - it took all my strength not to shout out - BUT I DON'T EXPECT TO FIND THE COAT OF A FUCKING ALSATION ALL OVER THE CARPET AND IN THE BED ALONG WITH THE VARIOUS PILES OF FITLH THAT YOU DIRTY PEOPLE OBVIOUSLY DON'T FIND OFFENSIVE!!!! - But I has sworn to DP that I would not make a scene - so we got our 2 nights back and went off to the lovliest cleanest friendliest B&B I have ever had the pleasure to visit.
So if any of you are going to Porlock please CAT me and I will tell you where not to stay!!
But rest of hols great - went to Dunster Castle and Dunster Village that were beautiful, Lynmouth and Lynton and some other places which escape me at the momebnt - went to Salisbury and WInchester on the way back too to see the cathedrals - and all in all after escaping from the house of hell and dog hair was a very nice break!!