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Original poster

DD wants to book a holiday to Zante and I'm panicking

68 replies

cardy1969 · 06/10/2018 20:39

DD and five friends want to book a holiday to Laganas in Zante for when she finishes her A levels next summer. She'll still be 17 (going in July and 18 in August).

Laganas is well known as a party resort and I can cope with that....just about, but I've googled it and read all sort of horror stories about the bars being run by the Albanian Mafia and selling spiked drinks (people ending up in hospital with poisoning). Even a shooting! I've gone into a panic and told her she can't go. She understands to some extent and would rather go somewhere else, but the problem is her friends don't understand they say all places have risks. They are all intent on going there as opposed to any other party resort such as Ayia Napa, Kavos, Malia etc. because of cheap drinks and cheap accommodation.

She's explained that I won't let her go and they haven't been very understanding to say the least! They won't change their minds and have said I'm being unreasonable. She's now accusing me of getting between her and her friends and it's all being blown up.

I'd like to talk to the other girls' parents but she won't let me saying that her friends will get really mad if I interfere with their parents. I suspect they've not read what I have.

I feel I'm between a rock and a hard place - I let her go and she's in danger. I don't let her go and all her friends go and I'm ostracizing her from her friends. Help please !

OP posts:
titchy · 06/10/2018 20:51

Let her go. Obviously. You can't expect her and her friends to kow-tow to your anxiety.

titchy · 06/10/2018 20:52

She won't be in danger by the way. At least no more than she would be going to Magaluf etc.

pigeondujour · 06/10/2018 20:54

She's explained that I won't let her go and they haven't been very understanding to say the least! They won't change their minds and have said I'm being unreasonable.

Wow.

Original poster
cardy1969 · 06/10/2018 20:59

Not sure if it was clear from my opening post; my issue is with Laganas in Zante. I've heard too many horror stories both in rl and in the press. I've said she can go to other 18-30 type places. Her friends won't consider anywhere else.

OP posts:
dinosaurkisses · 06/10/2018 21:09

What are her mates like?

Our small group of friends in senior school were pretty sensible- we were always careful to stay together and mind each other’s drinks etc. And if anyone did get too drunk, we always looked after them.

If she has a decent set of friends I’d really reconsider. You aren’t going to be any less anxious the second she turns 18, and at that stage she can go whether you’re happy or not!

AnyFucker · 06/10/2018 21:11

It's not that bad

If she is sensible, she will be fine. Just like the many thousands of teenagers that have gone before.

titchy · 06/10/2018 21:17

She's not going to be kidnapped by the mafia don't be so fucking ridiculous. She may well end up paralytically drunk having shagged her way through most of the strip. But it sounds like you're not bothered about that.

Original poster
cardy1969 · 06/10/2018 21:21

Thanks guys. I thought her friends were loyal and caring but have seen another side to them the last couple of days. They suggested she lies to me about where they are going, they've told her to stand up to me, they called me a weird bitch and generally upset her. Not sure what I think.

OP posts:
Adviceandguidanceneeded · 06/10/2018 21:27

Let her go ! My DD and her friends went had a great week, no mafia, spiking or shootings .

Mrskeats · 06/10/2018 21:32

They all do this.
She may well be at uni shortly after so you have to let go.

CostaLotta · 06/10/2018 21:34

It's not up to you. She decides what she does at almost 18. She will be absolutely fine, isn't it a rite of passage to go to a terrible resort, drink ridiculous amounts of watered down fishbowls and shag boys you've just met?

MintyJones · 06/10/2018 21:34

I hear ya op. My dd is 20 and we still discuss where she's going etc. I'm a parent - I care! My parenting didn't end when she went to uni aged 18

She went on holiday just before she turned 18 and I wanted to know the ins and outs of it all. She got it. I've no desire to control, my desire is to make sure she's as safe as she can be. 17 is NOT an adult and you're right to be concerned

Having said that ... what are they planning to do on this holiday? Is she sensible? Are her friends? What's the resort like? I'd be looking into that first, rather than just the online stories

ConsiderHerWaysAndOthers · 06/10/2018 21:34

You are being weird about it. She’s almost 18, presumably the friends are in the same year at school so will mostly be 18 and therefore they are adult women. It would be ridiculous to change their chosen holiday destination because one mother is irrationally paranoid about the Albanian mafia. People get their drinks spiked in Kavos/Magaluf etc too you know, those resorts are no better.

Duck90 · 06/10/2018 21:36

In my experience the Albanians, in zante, were used as workers, and sadly treated by the locals as second class citizens.

Any club resort that you google will have tales of drinks being spiked and illegal behaviour.

LubyLoo · 06/10/2018 21:40

Time to cut the apron strings I'm afraid. I know this isn't AIBU but YABU. I can understand your anxiety but she will be one month away from being legally an adult. You need to let her go. I'm surprised that she isn't just ignoring you and going anyway.

Mishappening · 06/10/2018 21:43

It is so hard I know - been there a few times with my collection of DDs. Take a deep breath and simply let her go.

ILovePierceBrosnan · 06/10/2018 21:52

I appreciate your concern. I was in Zante recently and accidentally wandered down to Laganas. It was smelly and vile. Lots of sex based clubs, lap dancing clubs. Loads of barely dressed girls some crying and a lot looking miserable. I would not want my DD going because I think they’d hate it. It looked a bit desperate. Loads of young people on quad bikes in bikinis and flip flops. One person covered in bandages who had obviously parted company with the bike.

However I would probably discuss, advise and worry but let her go. Sometimes they have to find out it’s a mythical world of fun when actually it is now a sad commercialised horrible town.

ILovePierceBrosnan · 06/10/2018 21:54

I have also heard of the laganas spiking issue as a specific location issue

Jellyshoeshurtmyfeet · 06/10/2018 22:08

My DS17 went for a week in August with 9 mates. I think all of us parents said yes thinking someone else would be the bad guy and say no so they would have to pick somewhere else but it didn't happen! I was dreading him going but they were all fine. No problems at all. I did go over and over dos and don'ts though.

anniehm · 06/10/2018 22:10

I'm refusing to fund my daughters post a level holiday - I said I would pay for a trip to Cornwall surfing (camping) but nothing overseas, if she really wants to go she needs to fund it (she will be 18). It's a mixed sex group and it was Spain they wanted to go to, I'm just not condoning it

lifechangesforever · 06/10/2018 22:13

My first holiday was to Laganas at 17 Grin whilst I would argue there are better clubbing resorts to go to, she'll be absolutely fine!

Mrskeats · 06/10/2018 22:16

You sound a barrel of laughs annie
Bloody hell.

notangelinajolie · 06/10/2018 22:16

You need to let her go. My DD went last year and survived. Most people do.

lifechangesforever · 06/10/2018 22:17

I'm not sure what the difference between Spain and Cornwall is.. Hmm

MintyJones · 06/10/2018 22:25

You really dont know the difference between Spain and Cornwall?

Wow

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