Finland with a 10month old - am I being unreasonable?

[LauraJayne30]

I was wondering if I could get some advice. My sister is getting married in Finland early next year. I'm pregnant and baby is due imminently so by the time we go there he won't even be a year old. She is adamant she wants him there but me and husband are not keen on the idea. We have voiced our views but it seems to be falling on deaf ears. I am bridesmaid and wouldn't miss it for the world so our boy would be with the in laws back in the UK for the 4 day wedding. They are planning a big party when they come home so he will be involved in the celebration with the rest of the family as only 10 people are allowed to the wedding itself. Am I being unreasonable to say he won't be going? Would anyone else be offended if their nephew didn't go to their winter wedding?

Why are you worried about taking him? Short flight, plenty of family on tap to help out, what's not to like? Not that there's anything wrong with leaving him at home (although I'd have struggled for 4 days at that point) but if there's particular concerns you have then maybe we may be able to reassure you?

The issue we have is that the only family there will be my parents, sister and husband to be(who will be pre occupied with wedding plans) She is planning for us all to do activities such as husky rides, hiking and snowmobile rides. Which we won't do together because im under the impression that a 10month old would not be allowed. The wedding itself would be good (cold but good) but when I mentioned that we would have to leave to go back to the hotel early when he goes down for naps, her reply was..... just put him in the room down the corridor. I just feel that she wants him there for a photo opportunity and doesn't understand where we are coming from.

If you have childcare available (inlaws) then I would leave him behind. We just went on a similar holiday and the baby certainly won't be able to do the activities. Do you feel sure you'll be happy to leave the baby behind. Some people wouldn't (but I woukd for a short break). Don't be pressured into tsking him at the expense of you not hsving a fab time

You definitely won't be able to take a baby on those activities. Is there no-one "back at the ranch" who could look after your baby while you do them?

If you, your DH and your in-laws are happy for him to stay at home, leave him. Sounds like a lot of stress if you don't.

Yes she wants him for the photos and for the stories. She has no clue how much work it'd be for you - and actually how annoying a 10mo amongst so few people at a wedding could potentially annoy her

Tell her you won't be taking him (if that's what you decide). You don't need her approval about decisions about your child.