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Original poster

should i let dh take dd to madagascar?

75 replies

SenoraPostrophe · 29/05/2006 21:54

well?

dd will be 4. I will stay at home with ds, who will be just 3, and ds2 (probably) who will be 4 months. it is a high risk malaria zone (but apparently thye new drugs are 98% effective with few side effects - is that true?). i know dd would love it, but we're talking 4 weeks over xmas and she'd miss me.

OP posts:
Feistybird · 29/05/2006 21:56

God, I would be selfish and say no, and then feel guilty about it for eternity.

Feistybird · 29/05/2006 21:57

4 weeks over Christmas - 4 weeks too long and would hate not to be with both of them at Xmas.

PrincessBoris · 29/05/2006 22:00

Gut instinct is no, probably because its for so long and its over Christmas

But do trips like these happen very often? Is it a once in a lifetime chance?

If yes then, just think of all the other Christmasses you will have together and let her go

Chandra · 29/05/2006 22:01

When I started reading your post, I thought...why not? but once you mentioned about the malaria drugs...err, no, I would check the details of the medication, although it was a long time since I took a course of malaria profilaxis tablets which left me vomiting and nauseated for two weeks, an improvement on that is still a very bad scenario... sorry. But this may be my ignorance talking..

NotActuallyAMum · 29/05/2006 22:03

At first I thought you meant the film Blush Grin

I agree with PrincessBoris

Mercy · 29/05/2006 22:04

Chandra, I think you are right re the side-effects of malaria tablets. At least that's what my brother and one or 2 friends have experienced; they used them within the last couple of years.

Original poster
SenoraPostrophe · 29/05/2006 22:10

chandra - that was my initial thought (i'ved been sick on chloroquine too). but there is a new one that is apparently better - and gives better protection too.

OP posts:
Feistybird · 29/05/2006 22:11

What's your gut feel Senora?

Original poster
SenoraPostrophe · 29/05/2006 22:11

it may be a once in a lifetime chance in that dh has a reason to go (his mate's going) and the rainforest may not be there for too many more years. but realistically if we can save up now we can again in a few years. mind you, ds will be old enough to notice then.

OP posts:
foxinsocks · 29/05/2006 22:12

is he going to stay with family?

Original poster
SenoraPostrophe · 29/05/2006 22:15

no. he wants to take her to the rainforest. it's the safest one there is!

OP posts:
LadyWitchofWaterford · 29/05/2006 22:15

Senora, ex dh took ds to India when ds was 4, he had to have jabs and took Malaria drugs, it was fine. But it was only for 2.5 weeks. I'd probably let them go tbh, it's next to Mauritius isn't it? So not really dangerous I wouldn't have thought (my mum and step dad lived in Mauritius for 4 years and didn't take Malaria drugs, no idea why)

LadyWitchofWaterford · 29/05/2006 22:16

What's the purpose of the trip? Could you all go?

LadyWitchofWaterford · 29/05/2006 22:16

What's the purpose of the trip? Could you all go?

foxinsocks · 29/05/2006 22:18

does he have to go for 4 weeks? seems quite a long time for her to be away from you - I would think 2 weeks is more reasonable. It's also quite a journey aswell.

Feistybird · 29/05/2006 22:19

Senora, my DP is not the kind of Dad who would want to do this (he would want us all on hols or not at all - and not because he's a family guy through and through, but although a loving, caring dad, he's just not hands-on enough to want to look after one of ours for 4 weeks on his own). Your dh is obviously a diff kind of dad, so ignore my prev comments.

Original poster
SenoraPostrophe · 29/05/2006 22:20

it's just a holiday. I just don't really fancy the rainforest with a 3 yr old and a 4 month old!

yes, it is south of mauritius, but is a higher malaria risk than india. maybe those tetse flies don't like flying over the sea?

OP posts:
hulababy · 29/05/2006 22:22

I would have to be selfish too. 4 weeks is a heck of a long time and I couldn't bare to be apart from DD, also 4, for that long. And to miss her over Christmas too would be too much for me to bear. Also not sure I would want to put her through malaria medication. However, my gut instinct would be no because of my own selfish reasons if I am very honest.

hulababy · 29/05/2006 22:23

Why 4 weeks?
Why over Christmas?

I can't imagine DH and DD going off on holiday without me.

Feistybird · 29/05/2006 22:23

SP - go in a few years time when you can all go.

foxinsocks · 29/05/2006 22:24

is he going to go regardless of whether dd goes with him?

I think I wouldn't want her to go but if he shortened the trip to 2 weeks, I'd be more tempted. Tbh, not sure how much she would get out of it at 4. Perhaps in a year or so time, she would love it and probably remember it for much longer and then you could all go together.

JanH · 29/05/2006 22:28

Found it!

FWIW, when my DD1 was 4 I would have said no, without a doubt.

IMHO she really wouldn't even appreciate a lot of it - the fact that it'll be Christmas is fairly academic I think but she would miss you and DS1 and the baby a lot, and even lemurs would pall after a while.

DH would probably find having her around restricted what he could do, and she wouldn't even remember much at all after a few years.

Will he still go for 4 weeks anyway? If so what would you all do for Christmas - come back to UK?

HTH Smile

Original poster
SenoraPostrophe · 29/05/2006 22:28

the prob is that I thinbk it'll be 4 years at least before we could do soething like that with the 3 of them (and that's assuming dd turns out to be a particularly sensible 8 yr old). not to mention that while we can save up for 1.5 flights to madagascar, we would have a hard time saving for 2 adults and 3 kids' worth. that's the drawback with 3 really.

In return dh has already agreed to move back to the uk (I'm a homebody, me) in 2 years, and he owes me a week in some static caravan park on the norfolk coast. or maybe even a week at butlins.

OP posts:
Original poster
SenoraPostrophe · 29/05/2006 22:30

yes - he'd go alone (if let him). she's always going on about animals, but yes, maybe the lemurs would pall after 4 weeks. it has to be that long because it takes 4 days to get to the forest - less than 3 weeks and it would be more travel than holiday (and you'd have to do the travel in one go)

OP posts:
edam · 29/05/2006 22:36

I'd say no. Too far, too long. A four year old isn't really going to appreciate it, or remember much about it in the long term. She'll probably get very fed up and miserable and miss you and her brothers. Tbh, I bet dh will enjoy it more on his own too. Athough it would be bloody stressful for you being left with all three of them for four weeks... if you let dh go I reckon you deserve a medal. Or having your own way about everything else for ever more.

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