am i being spiteful.......

[aprilgirl1]

just a rant i think im sitting here crying im so annoyed... my brother moved in with his girlfriend into a brand new house last year, they have decorated the new house top to bottom in the best of stuff they have a car each but are always crying hard up yet she buys £100 dresses, shoes n handbags ( just last week), yet they have no money ??? strange when i have no money i just go without anyway they keep coming to my parents making them feel guilty that they have no money ( my mam and dad have to work for every penny they get, hers are loaded) so yesterday they come round her moaning that they cant afford to do there patio for the summer coming up and how are they going to have bbq's in the summer without a patio ( honest her act was a winning oscar performance ) so anywany my mam and dad who have nothing now feel guilty and are going to borrow money to get them the patio.... well the story goes on today i got a bonus from work in vouchers just over 1k and my dad has asked if i can contribute towards their patio........ ive just freaked out..
for

1. i know she has at least 15k in her bank
2. she has just bought nearly £200 worth of clothes for the races?????
3. theyve decked there house in all the best stuff within 4 months of moving in ( how many 1st time buyers can say that?????

and there is me.... who has a baby on the way, none of the upstairs is decorated cos of we simply dont have the money to do it yet... and im being asked to fund there patio becasue did you see the state of poor yesterday they need there patio for the summer.... so fucking what i need this that and other done but sinply cant afford it!
if i dont help towards it mam and dad will have to foot the bill...
so so pissed off

sorry if this doesnt make sence just needed to rant

couldn't you point out to your parents that there is no need for anyone to lend money if this woman has £15k in her own account?

made it sound there as if my dad was forcing me to pay towards, that wasnt how it happend he asked if he could buy £100 of vouchers off me for them... dad is good in all this and just worries about us both having nice things ...

Let your mum read this and have a freaking fit at her! and then your brother.
Then blame your hormones - but they will get the hint.

point blank tell your brother and g/f that your parents are having to take out a loan for this and make HIM feel guilty.

i just have .... now i feel like they think im being spiteful ( which they dont im sure) im just so annoyed that they are always crying hard up. if you are skint you dont have the best of furniture in EVERY room, 2 cars.. ect, honest i feel like going round and telling them to stop asking my parents for money!

Tell them to get their own loan if 15 grand isn't enough!!!! Blimey!

if your brother is anything like my brother - it will be like hitting your head off a brick wall.
But - you are not responsible for your parents or brothers actions - all you can do is voice your opinion in no uncertain terms and then back off.
Its up to them - don't stress yourself over it - life is too short. I've spent far too long agonising over family stuff.

Go round and tell them! You'll feel better so what if she gets upset. If you don't say anything now things will get worse. She sounds like a spoilt brat.

no, you are not being spiteful.

she is a spoilt brat big style.... i dont mind helping 'anyone' out that usually my problem, id leave myself short for anyone ( my brother on many occacions) but when shes coming in with £200 worth of gear its hard to believe they are skint! bro is only young ( shes older ) n he used to be out eveyweek with his friends which have all stopped ( hers havent )i pay for nights out for him when i have a spare 20 quid... i just cant bare to think my mam n dad or me funding her too!!

You have to nip it in the bud, tell her. Can you imagine years of this!

aprilgirl, you can't be responsible for the actions of your mum and dad. I know you don't want their good natures to be exploited but they ARE grown ups who make their own decisions, about whether or not to financially help their adult children. You can drive yourself mad trying to 'protect' other people but people generally tend to do what they want to. You can assume your parents want to do this more than they mind about doing it iykwim....

fwiw, if it were me I would simply say to your bro, is he aware how difficult it is for your parents to help him out with this patio, is it really that necessary for him - ask him if he would consider telling them they have changed their minds about it.

If he won't then I think you have done allyou can.

meant to add of course you are not being spiteful!

thanks hope i havent over reacted been crying like a loon to my mam and dad, just wish my bro could see the same thing as what i can that they just cant afford to be paying this that n the other out on top of there own things... might just blame hormones!