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Original poster

travelling with children who don't share your surname

33 replies

helenperry · 10/05/2013 12:27

I am frequently stopped at borders and asked to prove that my children are mine as, following my divorce, they don't share my surname. I think this is unfair and its also quite unsetting when it happens.
I wondered what other people thought about this as I'm keen to lobby parliament to change passports
Thanks for any stories people wish to share!

OP posts:
AuntieStella · 10/05/2013 12:32

What changes to passports are you lobbying for?

This is a fairly recent measure. I have never had same name as DC, and when they were small such enquiries weren't made. I think it is now advisable to carry a copy of BC to demonstrate they're yours, until they're big enough to answer robustly for themselves if asked by an official about the adult they're travelling with and purpose of travel.

liger · 10/05/2013 12:35

I find this frustrating. I know the system links us all together, but not every passport officer in the country's I'm likely to travel to have a computer next to them. I was asked for the birth certificate at check in a few weeks ago.

I had a moan about it with my Italian friend, and she looked baffled as the parents names are printed in her DS's passport. Seems a simple enough solution.

SavoyCabbage · 10/05/2013 12:37

I travel with birth certificates, my marriage certificate and a letter from my dh saying that he knows that I am taking the dc out of the country. And I have the same names as my dc. So it might be nothing to do with your name and just be that you are on your own with your dc.

RugBugs · 10/05/2013 12:39

I've never been asked, screwed if I'm asked to show her BC because my passport is still in my old married name (too tight to change it yet again) but I always travel with her Dad anyway.

TheWave · 10/05/2013 12:42

So has anyone ever been refused entry for not having "proof"?

I've always had my name different and travelled alone with them lots. If they occasionally ask I say they are mine but not had any proof with me as such and never been asked for any further proof apart from my word.

AnythingNotEverything · 10/05/2013 12:51

I was only ever even asked once, out of maybe a dozen trips abroad. Is it that big a deal? Has anyone ever not been allowed into a country because of differing surnames?

GrandPoohBah · 10/05/2013 13:06

We've only taken DD abroad once and I was stopped bringing her back into the country - my passport is still in my maiden name and she has her Dad's surname. Luckily DH was right behind me so he could confirm that she's ours!

secretscwirrels · 10/05/2013 16:40

Mine are teenagers and I've never been asked about the fact that their surnames differ. Travel abroad twice a year, all EU.

TheWave · 10/05/2013 16:43

So it's a rumour so far and no-one has actually been refused entry?

TheWildBeastofPontypandy · 11/05/2013 14:13

I don't use my husband's surname and have travelled solo with the children loads and never been challenged.

LillyofWinchester · 11/05/2013 14:37

I got asked and handed over my sons birth certificate all smugly thinking how glad I was that i'd packed it. The customs official looked at it for ages, spoke to her colleague shoqing him the BC and eventually let me through. Back home I was wondering why she spoke to her colleague so I had a look at the certificate. It was then I realised it was the short version that doesnt contain parents names on it. What an idiot. Glad she waved me through or we'd still be stuck at the airport.

LillyofWinchester · 11/05/2013 15:10

Oh and we have different surnames hence why they were asking for proof me & the baby were related

rosy71 · 11/05/2013 17:18

Does this really happen? After all, in plenty of other countries it's the norm that parents don't share their chilren's surnames. Do they all get refused entry? It's also quite possible for a child to be travelling with people with the same surname who aren't their parents at all.

FWIW I think parents names in passports is a good idea.

MousyMouse · 11/05/2013 17:21

I stapled a copy of the birth certificates to the passports.
often get quizzed but not had a problem so far.

Notfluffy · 11/05/2013 17:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MousyMouse · 11/05/2013 17:23

never been refused entry, but once refused to board by the airline when I didn't have the bc with me (hence they are stapled in now). dh had to fax the bc to the airline and we got on the next flight for an extra fee.

Roshbegosh · 11/05/2013 17:25

I get asked every time coming into Gatwick but no where else. That is with our foster child.

ballroomblitz · 11/05/2013 17:26

I've never been asked and I travel once or twice a year with ds since he was a baby (EU). I can't use the quick online check-in and have to go to the desk however. Never carried his birth cert or letter from his dad either.

Only one I know getting stopped was my uncle when travelling to the US with their nieces and told they had to have evidence of permission from the parents to leave the country.

Roshbegosh · 11/05/2013 17:47

Maybe it's because we are obviously not his parents. We are too old and unattractive and if anyone thought he was ours they would think he had been switched at the hospital.

ripsishere · 14/05/2013 02:37

I travel often with my DD. We don't have the same surname. No one has ever stopped us. She looks nothing like me. Non EU countries too.

Alligatorpie · 15/05/2013 14:30

I have a different surname and am different nationality than them (dd1 is dual citizen, dd2 was born in another country so right now has just the one passport - not the one I have) i have been stopped a few times when flying without dh.
Once at Heathrow they asked dd1 some questions about why we were travelling, and we are always asked in Vancouver. I usually carry a letter from dh saying he gives his children permission to travel without him and I carry their birth certificates too.
Never heard of anyone being refused entry, but have heard about lots of hassle.

OneLittleToddleTerror · 17/05/2013 15:47

Really do they ask? I have only travelled with DD on my own once, going to Spain. Neither the UK or Spanish customs asked any questions.

As for the Italians having both parents name in their passports. I believe it's the norm for Italian women to keep their surnames. It'll never be done here as it's the norm for women to change their names. (Hence why the mother's maiden name is a security question in many computer system).

OneLittleToddleTerror · 17/05/2013 15:48

It could be that DD is a splitting image of me.

undervalued · 17/05/2013 16:00

We were stopped in the States with my 8 year old Grandson. We had packed the court order (that gives us parental responsibility) in suitcases but didn't have them on us. He was asked a series of questions about us and we were let through.

lottysmum · 17/05/2013 21:02

I travel 6/7 times a year and I cant remember a time when I wasn't asked...so I do know how you feel....my daughter is now 11 so its allot easier now...because they normally ask her who I am...and she's at an age where she is old enough to speak up...although when they asked her who I was the first time she said my name...not that I was her mum... what I find amusing is that normally they ask the question when we are coming back into the country...not when we are leaving...

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