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Original poster

Flying to USA, 19mo won't have own seat, safety?

58 replies

RainOnMyLaundry · 09/05/2011 14:38

We were invited to go to a family wedding in America but couldn't afford to go and were happy to miss it. My parents have now offered pay for the flights but will only pay for 3 seats, one for DH, DD1 (2yr11mo) and I each, so no seat for DD2 who is 19mo so she would have to sit on my lap.

I know its not very safe to have a little one on your knee because in a crash or bad turbulence you can crush them but I'm not sure what to do. We can't afford to buy her her own seat, we can just about cover the costs of food and hotels whilst away, if we go.

We are very safety conscious, in the car we have both girls in rearfacing car seats and intend to have them rearfacing until they grow out of their extended RF seats (~4yrs) so it seems crazy to go on a trip where we are ignoring our safety concerns but at the same time everybody else just thinks we're bonkers and worry too much.

What should we do? As far as I can see my options are:
a) Don't go, graciously thank parents but decline, explaining we don't feel its safe
b) Go with DD2 on my lap and try not to worry
c) Have the two girls both sit in the 3rd seat with the lap belt across both of them for take off, landing and any turbulence we experience.

OP posts:
omnishambles · 09/05/2011 14:45

Raininmylaundry - I think in a plane crash it wont matter if a dc is in its own seat or not and my 2 year old wriggles around so much in hers it is pretty pointless from a safety point of view anyway unless you are taking your car seat as well.

The more pertinent point is that having a toddler on your lap all that time is awful from a comfy perspective.

mumblechum1 · 09/05/2011 14:48

Agree withomni.

If you're in a crash, you have no chance anyway (although the likelihood of crashing is infinitisemally small).

I'd be bothered about how uncomfortable it would be for both the child and parent on a long haul flight.

EldonAve · 09/05/2011 14:48

the cabin crew won't let you do c)

if the plane crashes you're probably all screwed anyway

mosschops30 · 09/05/2011 14:50

Ive never heard of a toddler being crushed to death due to turbulence! Hmm
if it was that unsafe then airlines would not be able to request that children under 2 go on an adults lap.
It would be far more unsafe to have them both in one seat (plus you run the risk of cabin crew catching you)

Tbh if it bothers you that much dont bother going. I do think you are overthinking it a bit

Original poster
RainOnMyLaundry · 09/05/2011 14:50

Eldon Really? Why?

OP posts:
Original poster
RainOnMyLaundry · 09/05/2011 14:52

I didn't really mean crushed to death by turbulence, rather than in extreme turbulence (ie. not just a bit bumpy) that a baby/toddler can go flying and can be injured.

OP posts:
Original poster
RainOnMyLaundry · 09/05/2011 14:53

This explains better why I'm concerned, its just one of the first I found to link to, there are many sites with info on the problem.
thevacationgals.com/airplane-lap-child-safety/

OP posts:
mosschops30 · 09/05/2011 14:54

Not it cant, a baby has a seat belt attached to yours, so has as much chance as flying through the air as you. You do know that thry have a belt right? And not just sat on your lap.
Of course you cant put two children in one seat, cabin crew check all seats and belts before takeoff.

Have you ever flown before? Doesmt sound like it

fluffles · 09/05/2011 14:55

the standard way of securing a baby on a plane is on the lap of an adult with a little baby lapbelt which attaches to the adults.
i do not think that giving such a small child a seat of their own would be safe at all, she'll be far too small for the standard lap belt.

LeMousquetaireAnonyme · 09/05/2011 15:01

If I remember correctly even if you have booked a seat for your under 2, you still have to sit it on your lap for take off and landing. They have their own seat belt which attached to yours, so not hold at all by your arms only. If you don't fly in the air the baby shouldn't either.

Original poster
RainOnMyLaundry · 09/05/2011 15:02

Yes I am aware that they have an extra loop to add onto your own lap belt but my understanding is that if they are in the infant belt loop they are at risk of being crushed in a crash/emergency landing and if they are not in the infant belt loop they are at risk of turning into a flying missile in the cabin as you are unlikely to be able to keep a hold of them in an accident.

I have flown many a time, mostly long haul, having lived in the UK, USA and Australia. Previously, I wasn;t aware of the dangers for infants on planes because I had never looked into it because I didn't have DC. Now that I have and its my baby I care a great deal.

Nevermind. It must just be me.

OP posts:
omnishambles · 09/05/2011 15:04

I understand why you're anxious rain but tbh you have to go by statistics with these things and you'd be very unlucky if your dc was injured on a flight by turbulence let alone an emergency landing - compared to the stats for them just being in a moving car for example, no matter what car seat you are using...

fluffles · 09/05/2011 15:05

it sounds like you will not be happy to go without a seat for each child and taking car seats with you.

you'll just have to tell your parents that's how you feel but be prepared for them not to understand because most people do use the lap belt and assume that if there's a crash serious enough to crush the child you will all be killed anyway.

ChristinedePizan · 09/05/2011 15:06

I think you're bonkers and I mean that in the nicest possible way. If the plane crashes you'll probably all die but that's unlikely to happen and if there is bad turbulence, then it's unlikely to be bad enough so that your baby flies through the air. You're not the first person to have a baby on your lap on a flight you know :)

Original poster
RainOnMyLaundry · 09/05/2011 15:07

This is approved for use in kids 22-44lbs and would try to get one www.kidsflysafe.com/ except DDs would need their own seat each to use them (and they are expensive).

OP posts:
Potplant · 09/05/2011 15:09

I can kind of see where you are coming from - the world seems so much bigger and scarier when babies come along, but you are over thinking it.

If they hit turbulence then you are all made to put your seat belt on including the baby. Its no more dangerous than for anyone esle.

If the plane crashes then you're all done for so I wouldn't worry about that.

I'd go for b. but make sure that the squirmy baby wasn't sitting in my lap the whole way.

bonkers20 · 09/05/2011 15:10

I'm not sure, but statistically you're probably safer on a plane all just running about than EVER getting in the car, rear facing or not. What about crossing the road, that's got to be more dangerous than flying.

I bet your children are more in danger of a hot drink being spilt on them or tripping in the aisle than being injured on the plane.

In the event of the seat belt lights being turned on, your DD will have to go on your knee regardless of whether she has her own seat.

ChristinedePizan · 09/05/2011 15:11

Rainonmylaundry - my 4 year old doesn't weight 22lbs so I can't imagine a 19mo comes anywhere close to that!

Original poster
RainOnMyLaundry · 09/05/2011 15:11

ChristinedePizan I know I am far from the first to have a baby on a plane, but TBH I don't care a great deal about what other parents do with their babies, but I am concerned about what I do with mine.

On a flight home from Canada when I was 8 we had extreme turbulence and it was terrifying. The stewards were thrown about, one had a cut from hitting the luggage lockers, I had to grip the seat in front of me and I was really shaken about. It really frightens me, and if that or worse happen I want to know my DDs are as safe as is possible (considering that air travel is never safe as such, but then nothing is)

OP posts:
iEmbarassedMyself · 09/05/2011 15:11

B.
It's safe enough to have an under 2 YO on your lap that the airlines request it, the plane is unlikely to crash and extreme turbulence of the sort that launches toddlers across the plane just as unlikely, imo.
Try not to worry, but if you don't want to go anyway and are that worried about the safety, then go with A :)

B52s · 09/05/2011 15:13

Most airlines don't sell seats to under 24 months olds anyway. You still have to pay a supplement for them anyway (about £50 IIRC)

I really wouldn't worry about the safety of flying to USA as it is the safest way to travel. I made sure we had a baby life jacket and I knew where it was, and that there would be enough oxygen masks in the event of a depressurisation, and noted where my nearest exit was. Although if we had crashed, nothing would have mattered anyway, but it made me feel a bit better.

I took DS1 to Hawaii (also for a family wedding, also my parents paid for mine and DH flights) when he was 18 months old, we passed him back and forth between our laps, he slept on us, we read him stories, looked out the window, played peep-oh with some other passengers, walked him up and down. I wouldn't choose to do it, but it was okay.

I would go, but talk to the airline stewards about your concerns, and they will help as much as possible.

Original poster
RainOnMyLaundry · 09/05/2011 15:13

22lbs is only just over 9kg.

OP posts:
MarioandLuigi · 09/05/2011 15:13

I think I would be more worried about having a 19 month old on my lap for 9ish hours.

omnishambles · 09/05/2011 15:13

Depends how long the flight is as well - would they sleep in that contraption for instance- looks very uncomfy for their backs. You'd be better off with your car seat or hoping that there are empty seats nearby and spreading out over them.

Beyond the usual panic about flying - ie 'omg we're all going to die, how can this metal thing fly' I worry much more about entertaining a toddler on a long haul flight without losing the will to live.

Basically it is not something that anyone else worries about.

StewieGriffinsMom · 09/05/2011 15:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.